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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go away the bank holiday because of toddler sleeping

69 replies

xxxJess123xxx · 24/08/2020 23:46

hi all,
Meant to be going away the weekend. Didn't cost us anything as family caravan.
Toddler is 19 months. DD is 4. Both sleep no bother at home, put in bed, walk out, no wake ups etc.
We tried camping the other night on family land with few other family members. Failed tremendously and toddler screamed for an hour and a half with no luck getting him to sleep.
Packed up and went home (a 10 min drive)
Now I'm thinking I cant be arsed with going away if he isn't going to sleep as its not enjoyable and I'd rather put them to bed at home and have time to ourselves indoors of an evening.
Partner wants to go away but also said that toddler would sleep at camping and I knew he wouldn't.
He has never stayed away from home.
AIBU to not go away

OP posts:
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 25/08/2020 08:31

My ex used to want to do all sorts of travelling when ds was little.....guess who got lumbered with all the settling, standing outside restaurants, walking up and down the plane with an unsettled child ? Not him that's for sure!
I wish I had said no .

PiataMaiNei · 25/08/2020 08:34

There's not a chance in hell I would have attempted to sleep in a tent with a 4 year old and 19 month old. I would've paid not to do it. However, caravan might be different. It's indoors, it isn't so different and kids often like them. Would agree with the pp who suggested temporary cosleeping. Worked for us. However, this is only if you actually want to go. You're not ethically obliged to spend a long weekend in a caravan just because it happens to be available.

Wecandothis99 · 25/08/2020 08:37

We went camping and our perfect sleeper cried for an hour and a half before he fell asleep too. We just drank wine outside the tent and waited for him to fall asleep. The next night it was 30 mins and the next night 10 so try and stick it out. No harm will come to them if you let them cry. Also ignore the rod for own back comments, can't stand that phrase by judgmental morons!!

C8H10N4O2 · 25/08/2020 08:38

The weather forecast isn't great for the Bank Hol in Britain so potentially a wet weekend in a caravan with a bad sleeper. The time and effort invested in holidays with toddlers rarely shows much return. I'd be tempted to give it a miss and try him again in six months.

Could one of you take DD for an overnight or is it too far?

Figgygal · 25/08/2020 08:39

I’d be more inclined not to go because the weather looks crap
There’s always going to have to be a first time to go away I’d not be put off by a camping experience

Purpleice · 25/08/2020 08:40

Is it far? Try it for a night and see? If it’s nearby I would come home to sleep at night.

BikeTyson · 25/08/2020 08:48

Does the 4 year old know they are supposed to be going/are they excited? Because otherwise I’d just say sack of off and stay at home, but if the 4 year old is going to be missing out as a result that seems like a real shame.

QuestionMarkNow · 25/08/2020 08:52

I’ve been camping (in a tent) with dc1 since he was a toddler with no bother at all. He could sleep anywhere. Being at grand parents etc... was never an issue.

Then came Dc2. Same sort if up bringing, going to stay at PIL etc... except Dc2 never settled easily. At my PIL, it was always harder to settle him. In a tent.... well he just didn’t sleep. We weren’t able to go camping until he was about 4~5yo.

Children are different. Some are more sensitive than others and will take well to going camping. I’ll follow your guts there.

QuestionMarkNow · 25/08/2020 08:56

@Wecandothis99

We went camping and our perfect sleeper cried for an hour and a half before he fell asleep too. We just drank wine outside the tent and waited for him to fall asleep. The next night it was 30 mins and the next night 10 so try and stick it out. No harm will come to them if you let them cry. Also ignore the rod for own back comments, can't stand that phrase by judgmental morons!!
You did that in the middle of a campsite? I would never have dare letting my child scream surrounded by other people and knowing they had to cope with the screaming too....
RandomMess · 25/08/2020 08:57

Some DC just don't settle well in other places, the need familiarity and the same routine. I wouldn't go either, in a few years time it will be different as he'll be older and won't be screaming.

tablemable · 25/08/2020 09:00

It seems I might be in the minority but I think YANBU, the whole point of a holiday is that it's supposed to be relaxing and enjoyable. If being at home is more relaxing then do that instead, order yourselves a take away as a treat or something. We tried and failed to go away when my youngest was that age and tougher and it was always absolutely awful. Now a year and a bit later going on holiday is starting to become enjoyable.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/08/2020 09:04

We camped (tent) for 3 nights last summer with similar age children. Never again. I would try a caravan as it’s different, real beds, more separation between rooms etc.

BlusteryShowers · 25/08/2020 09:14

I wouldn't go if I was fairly sure it was going to be miserable. What is the point? Just wait until they're a little bit older and understand more.

Staying away from home isn't compulsory.

lifesalongsong · 25/08/2020 09:17

@Wecandothis99

We went camping and our perfect sleeper cried for an hour and a half before he fell asleep too. We just drank wine outside the tent and waited for him to fall asleep. The next night it was 30 mins and the next night 10 so try and stick it out. No harm will come to them if you let them cry. Also ignore the rod for own back comments, can't stand that phrase by judgmental morons!!
This is exactly why I would never go camping, maybe you had the campsite to yourself but if not why would you subject the other campers to your crying child?
missmouse101 · 25/08/2020 09:26

Oh god OP. Don't bother. BH traffic alone would be enough to put me off, let alone non sleeping children. All the time in the world for this when they're a bit older. Forced holidays are no fun.

Thefab3 · 25/08/2020 09:38

@Isawthathaggis that simply isn’t true of all children. We travelled numerous times a year , we were/are very much into camping, inter-railing , boats etc etc. Our kids have experience of sleeping on loads of different places but nope... Two of our kids were bad sleepers anyway and literally woke constantly when away , constantly and this would be after hours of being on the beach , running the legs off them.
I will say though pre 9 months was a doddle as we could put them in a sling /buggy but totally game changer once they could move....
Still it took till they were 4 and settled down that they’d sleep anywhere..

JudyGemstone · 25/08/2020 13:02

Shame for the 4 year old to miss out though. Maybe one of you should go with them and the other stay home.

Rainallnight · 25/08/2020 13:04

I agree with you OP. Our DC are the same - sleep well at home but take a good three nights or so to settle when we go away. Sometimes we decide it’s not worth it. It is for longer holidays.

Do what’s right for you. This too shall pass.

Original poster
xxxJess123xxx · 25/08/2020 13:31

Hi all thanks for the replies.
To answer a couple of questions, iv never had to co sleep coz he has always slept! So unsure how that would work, he would probably be completely confused as to what was going on!
Same as transferring, never had to do it?!!
Caravan is 2 bed, one a double and one 2 singles.
I believe its a combination of the travel cot and being in a new place. He really likes routine
I havnt actually looked at the forecast. 4 year old doesn't know we are going.
Its about an hour and a half away x

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