to have not told him I'm still breastfeeding?

[moonchilde]

I'm so anxious about this. I've been on a couple of dates with a man I met online. He seems pretty awesome and we get on like a house on fire so far. He's totally cool with the fact I have a toddler. I've not had the courage yet to tell him I'm still breastfeeding. In fact, I haven't really given it much thought until not as it is just part of my life now! I absolutely wouldn't stop breastfeeding for a man as it's the best thing for my son and he loves it.

AIBU to not tell him for a while? Is it weird to date whilst breastfeeding? Would most men find it odd?

Starting to worry now!

I'm sure he knows boobs are for feeding babies.

Yeah I reckon you need to slip it into conversation somewhere before it gets to the point of shagging. When I was BF and having sex I would fire two jets of milk out of my tits at the point of climax. Which would quite literally be one in the eye if he wasn’t expecting it.

That said, maybe that doesn’t happen for you.

Or maybe he’ll be shit in bed and you won’t climax.

Good for you! Still feeding my 2 year old DS here. I agree you need to tell him but not yet. It’ll be a good test of him! I don’t think I could be with any man who wasn’t on board with bfing now, including DH who is mostly supportive but sometimes And I’ve never had milk shoot anywhere during sex (sounds exciting!), but then I’ve never had many issues with milk leaking either so maybe that’s linked.

I would only mention it if you are likely to be feeding in front of him. Or if you are likely to be intimate soon. Especially if you would prefer he didn’t touch your breasts.

@SuperCaliFragalistic

I'd probably tell him but just because it's part of my life in the same way that I would mention I liked knitting or hated seafood or have a hankering to travel. It's not a shady secret, nor is it worthy of a massive "reveal". Its just something you do.

I agree with this. I wouldn't specifically think "I need to tell him" or "I must avoid telling him", I would just mention it if it naturally came up. Tbh if someone had a problem with it, it would really put me off dating them, so I might want to know that sooner rather than later.

@Elsiebear90

I would tell him before you have sex because tbh, I don’t think it’s fair not to as I really wouldn’t want to be surprised with a mouth full of milk if I was him, but until it gets to that point I see no reason to tell him.

Oh that is so funny! 😂 He's be like ''What the actual?!''...

My thoughts were also not on breastfeeding when I had sex with my DH, but even before he got anywhere near by boobs, I was letting down, squirting everywhere, it would happen at work, (no I wasnt sexual lyexcited there) if anything touched my boobs, super sensitive.

@Yeahnahmum, ten dates could be less than a month. If the person you are dating doesn't want to wait until you are ready to have sex, then it's best that it comes to an end. That doesn't mean that there isn't foreplay. Different if you're meeting people from hook up sites of course.

OP, my DD dated while still BF. She casually dropped it into the conversation a few dates in. It does, need to be said before sex. A condom stops the sharing of body fluids, milk is another body fluid which can't be stopped. So it's a matter of respect. Which you should have for someone you are having sex with.

Fair enough yes. 😀 10 dates could be in less then a month. But unlikely. Especially rn. I am just thinking from my pov: if a guy didn't wanna sleep with me after so many dates, i would opt out personally.

@Yeahnahmum

Fair enough yes. 😀 10 dates could be in less then a month. But unlikely. Especially rn. I am just thinking from my pov: if a guy didn't wanna sleep with me after so many dates, i would opt out personally.

See I can't get my head round this. You could potentially spend the rest of your life with this person but you can't wait 6 weeks or so to have sex. Maybe I'm just really boring but the idea of sex with someone I hardly know makes me so nervous.

Not boring at all. It's perfectly fine to have boundaries and it's perfectly fine if they differ from somebody else's.

Oh believe me, he does go near them a lot!! Maybe I’m just strange then that no milk has let down.

Though actually, thinking about it, I have said to him once or twice to stop because I’m starting to feel that wave of oxytocin and I don’t want milk to come out!

@MayDayHelp

🤣🤣🤣 brilliant!

Mayday I read that too fast as

'Or maybe he'll shit in the bed and you won't climax'

What a great way to defuse the situation. Yep beware of getting too excited, milk might come out... Let's hope he dampens things down by shitting in the bed, that will stop any climax dead in its tracks