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To not want to lug my baby all around London at night when I don't even have to?

29 replies

BroccoliSpears · 04/10/2007 19:34

We're going to see the in-laws. SIL wants us to stay with them in their new house. She's excited and wants us to be her first guests. I get that. It's nice.

But, we'll be going for dinner at PILs. PIL have a spare room.

I suggested that it made more sense to stay at PILs this time, as we'd be able to bath LO, put her to bed in her travel cot and she'd be set for the night.

Because I know SIL is excited about her new house, I suggested that we drive straight down to SIL, spend the day with her at the new house, go over to PILs in time to bath and bed LO, then go back to SIL the next day to spend time there before the (enormous) drive home.

But no. SIL is majorly peed. She says that "what normal people do is just lift their sleeping baby and pop them in the car seat and then lift them out the other end."

Well, yes, we could do that. We WOULD do that. But why? When there's a bloody spare room with a nice double bed all made up at PILs?

She wants us to feed and bath LO at hers, put her in jammies, then drive accross town and make up the travel cot, put her to sleep at PILs while we have dinner, then wake her up, get her out of her gro-bag, put her coat on (it is October and it's cold) put her in the car seat, take down the travel cot, drive back to theirs, re-make the travel cot, re-gro-bag LO and put her back to sleep. I'm sure she'll sleep beautifully after all that .

No, of course it won't kill her, and we could do it, but am I being unreasonable to not really want to, given the circumstances?

Plus SIL knows that I'm really suffering with morning sickness atm, and when SHE had morning sickness a couple of months ago the whole world had to stop. Now I'm just being bitchy. But humph.

Go on, tell me I'm an unreasonable old bag and should lug LO about if SIL is excited about her new house.

OP posts:

miobombino · 04/10/2007 19:37

I assume sil doesn't have children...


spookthief · 04/10/2007 19:38

She is being completely ridiculous. She is not 6.


flowerybeanbag · 04/10/2007 19:39


Can you all have dinner at SILs instead?


foxinsocks · 04/10/2007 19:40

there are 365 nights in the year and I'm sure you can find another one to spend with her

far too much hassle driving back and forth even without the baby (and if you stay at PILs it means you can both have a glass of wine too if you like!)


Minum · 04/10/2007 19:42

YANBU - it always disturbs me how desparately people want overnight guests - I'm a victim of this all the time - bit like the vampires who answer the door in horror movies !


mimi03 · 04/10/2007 19:42

YRNBU!!!!!!! does sil have kids.... i know its easy for her to say 'its only this....its only that' but its totlly different when YOUR the one having to organise it. what more- you have the opportunity to get away for a couple of days and relax, and have it messed up with unecessary to-ing and fro-ing. be firm and tell her no. after all your the one who will be dealing with a cranky out of sinc baby the next day.


BroccoliSpears · 04/10/2007 19:43

Miobombino - how did you guess!!

OP posts:

spooklesandwhine · 04/10/2007 19:54

if she's that excited about the house why can't you all have dinner at hers then you don't have to lug your lo about??

sounds like she has an idea in her head and thats it, thats how it has to be done!! I'd laugh but i know this situation only too well


WideWebWitch · 04/10/2007 19:58



Clayhead · 04/10/2007 19:59

She says that "what normal people do is just lift their sleeping baby and pop them in the car seat and then lift them out the other end."

I hope that she doesn't have a baby like my dc who have NEVER been lifted whilst sleeping without screaming very loudly and staying awake for several hours afterwards.

I never even managed to lift the car seat out of the car and them stay asleep!


noonar · 04/10/2007 20:01

ah, can undestand her child like excitement about having you to stay, but really! agree that you should just eat at hers. could you explain the situation to pils?


Kewcumber · 04/10/2007 20:03

your SIL has invited you for a sleepover? Thats bizarre when you're not eating at her house. Are you going to gave a midnight feast and giggle . Out of interest how old is she?


InMyHumbleOpinion · 04/10/2007 20:06

Ask her next year what normal people do with their babies...


InMyHumbleOpinion · 04/10/2007 20:07

YOu don't have to make excuses - just 'This is not going to happen.; You have the option to accept my way of doing it, or not to accept it, but I am not doing it your way. No."


BroccoliSpears · 04/10/2007 20:12

InMyHumbleOpinion - Oh, I am looking forward to asking her a LOT of things about how babies actually work next year .

OP posts:

Amethyst8 · 04/10/2007 20:35

Would not do that in a million years. My kids ALWAYS wake up when lifted and ALWAYS stay awake for at least four hours after. Even if they didnt I wouldnt do it. Why should you and your LO be inconvenienced in that way. Why is is she so desperate to have you there? Is she going to stay awake all night and look at you all? YANBU.


bohemianbint · 05/10/2007 12:13

Ha, just say to her "I'm really looking forward to you doing the same thing this time next year." Oh, just wait til her baby's born, she's going to feel such a fool...


DaisyWhoooo · 05/10/2007 12:16

Is your SIL 6 yo? She's having a strop because you're not playing the game she wants to play FFS. Of course YANBU, but your SIL is HAB (hormonal and bonkers)


fedupwasherwoman · 05/10/2007 12:21

Short of her buying a second travel cot to leave up at her house (let's face it she'll be needing one soon anyway) and investing in one of those all in quilted thingies with a slot for the seat belt buckle to go through it's going to be a major hassle.

I'd just say " yes, I know lots of people are lucky that their child slumbers on despite being lifted in and out of car-seat/cot whatever but dd is a light sleeper, we're just unlucky. I hope you get lucky with a heavy sleeper, XXX (whatever SIL'S name is), I really do".

Could you go the night before and spend that night at SIL's house or is time short.


ScaryScaryNight · 05/10/2007 12:25

You set the terms. Tell her you will come and see her new house, but you will be staying at PILs, because she is making it much more difficult than it has to be. Give her they pitiable look, and say "soon you will know how unreasonable your request is." Followed by the knowing smile.


helenhismadwife · 06/10/2007 20:17

YANBU at all why should you dd have her sleep disturbed to please her selfish auntie, she will very quickly learn its not wise to disturb a sleeping child once settled for the night


PSCMUM · 06/10/2007 20:20

SIL sounds like a selfish cow.
I made myself so exhuasted with first DC trying to please the irritating and unreasonable demands of various in laws. I ended up furious and my ds ended up knackered and frazzled in a variety of silly locations. Like a wedding in a marquee at 11 at night because DP could not conceive of leaving a family wedding before last drop drunk and could not remain without his dp and new born child (4 weeks old) or the family woudl be offended. So instead of telling him to piss off that I was taking the baby back to the nice hotel, I ended up breast feeding a teeny baby in a marquee full of morons. Becvasue I didn't want to offend anyone. Honestly, I am so much older and wiser (and fatter!) now, I would never take such bollocks agin! and neither should you! Do what you want and smile sweetly at SIL thru the rest of the shnanigans. She';; soon forget .


xXxamyxXx · 06/10/2007 20:30

she is being very unreasonable and selfish


Teddimac · 06/10/2007 20:39

B*gger that! YANBU and she'll realise that soon enough.

at Kewcumber's sleepover!


wheresthehamster · 06/10/2007 20:48

Don't like being the only dissenting voice here BUT..
gro-bag??? (what's this?)
travel cot???
What happened to taking babies out of the car in their carry-seat and leaving them there?
If the baby wakes then transfer him/her to the settee surrounded by cushions.
Why do you have to take coats on/off and use a cot? Just have a blanket or two to wrap in if cold or take off if warm.
I agree IF you have to do the routine you have described it will be a pain but ime taking my 3 dds out as babies was nothing like this

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