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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Suing neighbour for character defamation

120 replies

CandiStore · 23/08/2020 20:10

A neighbour a couple of doors away got a dog several months ago which barked continuously when she left it out in the garden for long periods.

One Sunday when I was woken early yet again I went out and spoke to her, she was extremely confrontational and I stood firm, but didn't swear like her. She accused me of shouting out the window a few days previously to 'shut that f'kng dog up' but that I stated that had not been me (so obviously other people have been bothered and reacted).

I left it for a few weeks but struggled with early waking from the barking and on the days I worked from home my Teams meetings were disturbed.

I wrote a polite and convivial letter acknowledging that we hadn't got off to the best start when we spoke and apologising for that and asking her to tackle the barking as best she could, offering suggestions and telling her I was an animal lover too.

She has now written back, highly defensive, (using very poor spelling and grammar) saying she is fully aware that I have contacted the Council and failed to provide evidence of alleged noise nuisance - this was not me so how can she assume this? She has accused me of 'howling abuse' stating this shows my true personality, again untrue.

She accuses me of not being a pet lover. Basically she has made me look and sound really bad.

In her letter she has told me that after 'taking legal advice' she has distributed my letter and her letter in response to all the houses in the street.

I am planning to sue her for defamation of character because she has distributed a letter written to her only, made several attacks on my character and falsely accused me of being the person who contacted the Council (surely that would be confidential anyway?). This has obviously been upsetting and will negatively affect my reputation in the neighbourhood. My name and address are clearly marked on my letter to her so I will be easily identified. She had no right to do that without prior consultation.

Has anyone had similar experiences and can offer advice - I attempted to find a solution to this problem via an amicable and factual letter. AIBU to sue?

OP posts:

Literaryseed · 23/08/2020 21:48

She's a daft cow but (presuming you live in UK) you really aren't suing her for defamation. I promise. Do you have any idea how many neighbour disputes there are? Can you even imagine the court system if neighbours could sue each other willy nilly? You both need to grow up.

PanamaPattie · 23/08/2020 21:56

Does she play the violin?

jolokoy · 23/08/2020 21:57

Oh, don't be at it.

Lindtballsrock · 23/08/2020 22:01

Yeah definitely sue her for defamation, assuming that you have tens of thousands of pounds to spare and a desire to drag this on for years.

Ablackrussian · 23/08/2020 22:04

What has her spelling and grammar got to do with it. I'm confused?

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 23/08/2020 22:06

Don't be daft. She can copy a letter sent to her to whoever she likes; she doesn't need your permission.
If that is true then how come Meghan Markle is considered to own the letter she wrote to her father and how can she sue the mail on Sunday for publishing part of it?

ThaGugaBlasta · 23/08/2020 22:07

What do you actually want to achieve? The original problem is the dog, surely, not the neighbour distributing your letter.

TwizzledTurkey · 23/08/2020 22:07

I think you’ve clearly got too much free time...

Flatpackback · 23/08/2020 22:07

Boring Sunday ?

Suzi888 · 23/08/2020 22:09

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite because she’s LOADED

cottonwoolbrain · 23/08/2020 22:09

Are you very rich? Do you like paying court fees and legal fees? - even to start the claim you'll need to pay a minimum of 5% of amount you're claiming as a court fee though you may get help with fees. Then there will be other fees along the way before you even start paying the lawers.

Do you have a lot of time on your hands over the next 2-3 years and either access to a very good lawyer or an encyclopedic knowledge of the civil procedure rules? Do you like making trips to central London sometimes at short notice (as far as I know all defamation cases are held in High Court Queens Bench division)

Are you ready to take the risk that if you lose you'll have to pay for all your opponents trips to London and all their legal costs and other reasonable expenses and you'll get zilch. Are you happy with the idea that even if you do win they may not have enough money to pay your costs let alone any damages?

If so.. then suing for defamation is the life experience you've always been looking for.

Angelina82 · 23/08/2020 22:12

@BlogTheBlogger barking mad.

AllsortsofAwkward · 23/08/2020 22:12

The pair of you both need to wined youre necks in.

Ablackrussian · 23/08/2020 22:13

FFS, just ring the RSPCA. Leave out the theatrics.

PatriciaPerch · 23/08/2020 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ablackrussian · 23/08/2020 22:19

If that is true then how come Meghan Markle is considered to own the letter she wrote to her father and how can she sue the mail on Sunday for publishing part of it?

Because maybe MM must have adressed letter as 'private' or 'addressee only', or something. I'm sure someone with more knowledge can clarify.

Requinblanc · 23/08/2020 22:20

Talk about escalating...

You both need to calm down and take a step back.

She just sounds bonkers and it is likely that you are not the only one who has complained about the dogs, so she is highly paranoid/defensive.

No one in their right mind would have given her the 'legal advice' to distribute a letter around the neighbourhood. She is simply trying to frighten you.

Seriously take a step back and just realise she if the local crazy dog lady who no one listens to and best left alone.

Glitteryone · 23/08/2020 22:21

It’s extremely hard to sue for defamation of character. I know as I spoke to a solicitor about it. I had solid examples of things that were said (written evidence) and also evidence of it being lies. The solicitor was very reluctant to take the case on - he said its very difficult to sue someone on these grounds as people are entitled to their opinions and freedom of speech.

It’s very annoying but I don’t think you’d get anywhere pursuing this.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 23/08/2020 22:22

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite

Don't be daft. She can copy a letter sent to her to whoever she likes; she doesn't need your permission. If that is true then how come Meghan Markle is considered to own the letter she wrote to her father and how can she sue the mail on Sunday for publishing part of it?

The DM is not a private individual, so is subject to GDPR and privacy laws, and is in a totally different situation to the OP's neighbour. That said, I expect MM to lose!

mellicauli · 23/08/2020 22:23

Dangerous game to play. What if you lose and have to pay for her lawyer’s fees? £300 an hour is not unusual. And all she said was you weren’t an pet lover. Well, you clearly don’t love her pet very much! (And I don’t blame you for that’s not the point..) Bye bye £10k..

nauticant · 23/08/2020 22:29

Using my decades of legal experience, here's my advice:

Never wrestle with a pig.

Noneformethanks · 23/08/2020 22:29

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite

Don't be daft. She can copy a letter sent to her to whoever she likes; she doesn't need your permission. If that is true then how come Meghan Markle is considered to own the letter she wrote to her father and how can she sue the mail on Sunday for publishing part of it?

Daily mail isn’t acting wholly in a Private or household Capacity therefore the exemption to gdpr does not apply.

FlumpetCrumpet · 23/08/2020 22:31

How many neighbours are we talking about? Among the people these letters have been distributed to are one neighbour who has told you it drives them mad and they are on your side, one who has been driven to shouting obscenities out of the window at her and one who had made a noise complaint to the council, if anything it sounds like you may well have gone up in their estimations and if the pubs were open they'd be buying you a drink!

Patbutcherismyhero · 23/08/2020 22:32

I haven't read the full thread but I have to say you both sound a little bit ridiculous! Her for circulating the letters (of which hers sounds like the poorer of the letters so she'll have shown herself up there) and you for suggesting you'll sue her for it! Come on OP, do you really have the time and money for this? It sounds like other neighbours are pissed off with her too and if your letter was as polite as you say then I highly doubt your neighbourhood reputation will be that badly damaged. Frankly if this was happening in my area I would find it quite hilarious. Your neighbours probably feel the same.
Hope you get the noise sorted but please try and rise above this, you're playing into her hands by prolonging the soap opera.

saleorbouy · 23/08/2020 22:34

I think you're going a bit far suing for deformation of character, what value do you put on your impeccable character and it's now reduced form? IF you win the case does she have the funds to recoup your costs and settlement, it's likely you will not get a lump sum but 50p a week for 20 years. She'll stop paying and then you'll need to return to court to enforce the ruling.
Better you climb down from the high horse and let her carry on her trivial ways. Surely if the animal is annoying sufficient neighbours then it won't be long u til you get some back up for your cause.
Court is the final solution, not the first.

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