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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Got called fat, complained then got called a liar!

77 replies

Alison421e · 23/08/2020 14:07

I was just browsing my local boutique shops online looking for outfits and came across a review I wrote around Xmas time. During that visit I had tried on an outfit for New Years and I thought I looked nice, considering I had a baby at the time literally few months ago. The shop assistant was a nasty bi**ch she told me I had a HUGE tummy and it doesn’t look nice on me, maybe I should buy when I’ve lost the baby weight. I was obviously upset and embarrassed so left and later that day wrote a review. I didn’t expect much, I just wanted the management to speak to her and just write sorry for bad service you received. I had literally forgotten about it till I just read their response!

He’s basically called me a liar and said that CCTV was checked and the assistant did not in any way say this. They also said I seemed very “jolly” on the cctv and I left the store smiling and happily!

I was so angry that I just responded back! I know I shouldn’t have but it’s made me really angry. I told them on review your assistant could see I had a baby in pram and insensitive remarks like this can really affect a persons self esteem. I said a few other things too! I’m a little embarrassed but I’m not going to delete my review as it’s 100% true account of what happened. I accidentally over-wrote my initial review so that is replaced by the review I wrote today. I’m so angry - did I over-react at their response? All they had to do was say they will investigate and apologise for the way she spoke to me and it would be the end of the matter! But they called me a liar and denied this happened. I feel I can’t step foot in that place again now

OP posts:

DollyDoneMore · 23/08/2020 17:00

Being told you have a post-baby tummy is not the same as being called fat. Did they even use the F word at all?

BojoKilledMyMojo · 23/08/2020 17:04

I don't really understand what you're hoping to achieve here. You don't want to use the company again, so they've already lost your business.

What difference does it make to your life if he's implied you're lying? What's the point in getting yourself so wound up over something that happened so long ago, which can't be changed, and from which there will never be a different outcome?

Original poster

Alison421e · 23/08/2020 17:11

No problem guys thank you for making me feel better! I’m over it now. Of course they’re going to try and make it out I’m lying as they don’t want to put people off coming.

I just need to stop letting things get to me. person who asked if I lost weight - I’m actually bigger NOW than I was at the time of the incident . One stone heavier actually, I’m not going to be down about it as going back to work will definitely get me trimmer! Thank u all x

OP posts:

rwalker · 23/08/2020 17:20

@alwaysinpainheartsonacake
You didn’t speak to the manager at the time and it’s your word against theirs. The manager isn’t going to apologise if there’s no proof she said it.

What a ridiculous comment! How could anyone 'prove' what a shop assistant says?! So by your logic, any staff member can speak to customers like shit and management won't do a damn thing about it without actual proof (how?)

If that was how customer service worked then there would be no businesses left!!

What is ridiculous is you thinking you can disipline staff off someones hearsay with no proof .
A good union or tribunal would wipe the floor with that if you tried to discipline staff off that .

RedHelenB · 23/08/2020 17:20

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather be told that than buy something that made me look huge. You expect to have a bigger tummy after you've just given birth. That's assuming that you asked her her opinion? If not then not her place to say anything!

SquashedSpring · 23/08/2020 17:24

I'm sorry that the assistant was horrible to you OP, that's no way to speak to anyone, let alone a customer.

How would you have reacted in the days before internet reviews were available?

I'm not saying you were wrong to leave the initial review, but if you hadn't left it the incident would have been gone and forgotten, whereas now eight months on, you're upset about it all over again. I often think how the internet just makes our lives more miserable.

Kaiserin · 23/08/2020 17:42

Quite frankly what strikes me here is that neither the shop assistant nor the manager seem to have any business sense:

shop assistant insults a customer. Would normally leave no trace, except online reviews are now a thing...
manager double downs and insults the customer, for the whole world to see, forever. Unprofessional or what?

If I was a prospective customer and just saw the review on its own, I would take it with a pinch of salt.
Review + aggressive reply? All doubt has now vanished, whether the customer was right or wrong, it's now clear the shop is run by twats.
A sensible shop would have left an answer such as "We are sorry to hear about your bad experience. Please be in touch etc. etc." (it's all empty corporate PR, but that's the done thing)

VivaMiltonKeynes · 23/08/2020 17:55

TBH I would just delete your new comment and move on. You are going to be tempted to check on this and expect something to happen . It's going to be there in your mind . Put your energy into losing weight as you said you wanted to do .

Original poster

Alison421e · 23/08/2020 18:15

Omg! I just went back on to try and delete my whole comment as can’t give it headspace and guess what! He’s replied. Idiot has now said “please don’t be so immature in suggesting we have cctv in changing room, I meant I checked cctv in shop area” - but if I was trying on a bloody dress would I be doing it in shop area?

He also said “please don’t leave reviews here, enjoy your life and you full feel fulfilled”. Like wtf! Obviously I’m not going to reply back. Do I just just let a sales assistant make comments about my appearance and not be bothered by it. A simple “we’re sorry this happened we aim to give best customer service”. I’ve looked at other 1* reviews and they all mention poor customer service which he has equally nastily responses fed to. The shop has a rating of 3.1 so obviously he is not addressing poor customer service

OP posts:

Immigrantsong · 23/08/2020 18:16

@Alison421e

Don't delete your review.

Let the whole world see what he is like.

Original poster

Alison421e · 23/08/2020 18:19

@Immigrantsong but he’s made me look like an idiot as he finished it with “madam, there is a parade I going on but you are more concerned about an incident that happened months ago“ then he said enjoy your life, fulfilment etc etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

Alison421e · 23/08/2020 18:19

Pandemic not parade!

OP posts:

category12 · 23/08/2020 18:23

Yeah, you're not going to win an online argument. That's kind of a law of internetting, everyone just ends up looking an asshat.

You should have contacted the shop directly to complain if your felt her service was bad or she was rude. Leaving shitty online reviews are for when you don't get satisfaction from their complaint processes.

Immigrantsong · 23/08/2020 18:26

[quote Alison421e]@Immigrantsong but he’s made me look like an idiot as he finished it with “madam, there is a parade I going on but you are more concerned about an incident that happened months ago“ then he said enjoy your life, fulfilment etc etc.[/quote]
Nah, all he managed to do is show everyone he sucks balls at customer service.

Let the review stand as it will do more damage to him than you.

ThirstyGhost · 23/08/2020 18:30

Weird bloody way to run a business: sales assistant makes offensive comment about your appearance (never ok - there are ways to say things IF you're asked for an opinion like suggesting alternatives) and then condescending manager accuses you of lying followed by an odd follow-up comment where it sounds like he's swallowed The Little Book of Calm. "enjoy your life and you will feel fulfilled" F* right off.

I'm an anxious person who massively overthinks everything and would still be seething about this months after the event, so my advice is PLEASE don't be like me! No good ever comes of it. Never visit their stupid review page again and certainly never set foot in their shitty shop. That experience was horrible though and I'm sorry that you had to deal with that. If that manager is concerned with the pandemic by the way, he ought to think about how shops with decent customer service will put his out of business soon enough. Good loyal customers are everything right now.

MrMeSeeks · 23/08/2020 18:31

Are you sure the sales assistant wasnt being sensible?
did you lose the baby weight?

What person leaves this types of comment really??

heartsonacake · 23/08/2020 18:33

but if I was trying on a bloody dress would I be doing it in shop area?

You said you left the door partly open when you were changing, so he’ll have been able to watch the CCTV outside the individual changing cubicles.

A simple “we’re sorry this happened we aim to give best customer service”

They don’t know it happened. There’s no proof.

Original poster

Alison421e · 23/08/2020 18:34

@ThirstyGhost thank you. I am very much like you! I’m still seething thinking of that day, her tone and her just general looking down at me. It wasn’t done in a nice way.

I can’t stop reading his responses to others where he’s accused one woman of being a competitor so that’s why she’s leaving a bad review! She hasn’t responded so makes it look like (in his eyes) he’s right

OP posts:

roarfeckingroarr · 23/08/2020 19:02

@Grapewrath

Ask them publicly to publish their cctv footage on social media. If they don’t then call them out as liars

That's a bit mental

Candyfloss99 · 23/08/2020 19:02

Would you rather the sales assistant said you looked great in the dress and everyone else said you looked huge behind your back? She may not have been very tactful but she hardly said something awful.

BojoKilledMyMojo · 23/08/2020 19:22

He's right though. I'd think you were a bit odd to be arguing about something done months ago and getting embroiled in petty point scoring squabbling. You did make a stupid comment about CCTV and he made one in reply.

Just let it go.

Original poster

Alison421e · 23/08/2020 19:26

Would you rather the sales assistant said you looked great in the dress and everyone else said you looked huge behind your back?

I never asked her opinion. Everyone would know I had a baby a few months ago and would be very shitty of them to say this behind my back. It was to wear at home, I would hardly be in town partying with a newborn

OP posts:

Original poster

Alison421e · 23/08/2020 19:29

He's right though. I'd think you were a bit odd to be arguing about something done months ago

I hadn’t seen his response until today when I was thinking about going in to buy something. No it’s not odd to defend myself being called a liar and it’s not okay for a random stranger to tell me I look huge, I never asked her opinion

OP posts:

Candyfloss99 · 23/08/2020 19:36

@Alison421e

Would you rather the sales assistant said you looked great in the dress and everyone else said you looked huge behind your back?

Yea but you'd obviously rather wear something that made you look nice rather than highlight a huge stomach etc. She probably thought you could pick something a lot better for your figure.

DownToTheSeaAgain · 23/08/2020 19:38

Honestly life is too short to get stressed about something that happened so long ago. Stop feeding the flames and just don't revisit the reviews.

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