To ask how to get some effing sleep?

[Goostacean]

Between my 2.5yo and 8mo, I was up 6 times in an 8h period overnight. To quote a Mumsnet trope: sorry, that doesn’t work for me.

I think I know how solve the toddler getting lost in his own cot(!)- he’s getting a nightlight. But the 8mo is a nightmare and has slept 12hs ONCE since he was born, and 7-8hs in a row probably 10 times.

I sleep trained at 5.5mo and he now goes to sleep by himself, but wakes anywhere from twice a night to every 2hs. What the hell do I do to fix this? He’s still breastfeeding but enjoys solids. Continuing to put up with it is not an option.

Bumping

Have you tried playing some white noise? It worked for my Dd (but only till she turned a year old)

Sorry I can’t offer advice as I’m in sleep hell with my 19 month old but I can offer solidarity.

Sorry no help from me either but thought it might help to know others are in the same boat!
I have a three and a half year old and 18 month old who between them have me up around three times a night on a good night but it can be much worse than that often once or twice a week. It's a complete nightmare and I have no way of solving the problem as no matter what I try they just won't bloody stay asleep!
So from one tired out mummy to another I feel your pain!!!

Will your 8mo take a bottle? Breastfeeding can be as much comfort as needing food at that age. If you/your partner can give night feeds by bottle (of expressed milk if you prefer), it might help. It worked for me...

I'd start only offering water in the night. No talking /stimulating, only the night light. Don't pick them up, just comfort by stroking the hand or cheek through the cot bars. Keep this going until they realise that's it for night time stimuli and refreshments!

If it's a phase (teething etc) try sleeping in shifts. It's not ideal but you might get some sleep.

No advice I'm afraid, my toddler never slept longer than 2 hours in a row until he was about 14 months. Hope you can get a nap in the day when OH is off or something!

11 month old here. Goes to sleep in his room from half 7 until around midnight and then he comes in our bed and he wakes up a few times in the night. We're leaning towards the cry it out method as we think we might die of sleep deprivation if not!

What does he wake up for at night? What do you do?

Noooo, this wasn’t how the thread was meant to go! I was meant to get a bullet-proof method and then maybe one or two replies in agreement with that method. And all my troubles would be solved...

What does he wake up for at night? No sodding idea. He has blackout blinds, I only use white noise sporadically- for naps and usually from 4am or so, so he sleeps through my toddler waking up in the morning. (Sometimes.) I go in to his room, pick him up, breastfeed him on an armchair next to the cot, put him back and leave. That’s it. No lights on, no talking. Sometimes he doesn’t even want to feed, if it’s been a short time between wakings. He seems to have three(!) teeth coming through at the top simultaneously which I’m sure isn’t helping- but this has been going on since birth, so I can’t solely blame teething.

I appreciate it's not what you want to hear, but some babies are just shitty sleepers.
For me co-sleeping saved my sanity.

My 6 month old has been an awful sleeper and I had no success with white noise through my phone but I got one of those Ewan the sheep things feeling a bit desperate and it’s helped go from 6 times a night to twice with one of those for a feed so hopefully will stop that once he doesn’t need to feed at night

Bottle of formula at bedtime and a dream bf about 11pm - worth a try?

I don't know what Ewan the sheep is but 'dummy bunny" saved us. You attach a dummy to each paw.

Are you a single parent? DH and I also had a strict sleep rota.

Some babies are just shitty sleepers. I fear this is the main issue, but I’ve become genuinely unpleasant to be around as a result of the sleep deprivation so I’m desperate to try something. He responded well to sleep training and now goes to sleep unaided, which was a lifesaver.

For me co-sleeping saved my sanity Unfortunately I can’t do it - I’ve tried but I feel like crap, it’s like I never get into deep sleep with a baby in the bed.

Bottle of formula at bedtime and a dream bf about 11pm - worth a try? Yes. I think this is now the plan. But what to do when he wakes at night? Send DH up with a bottle of water?

Wake him up for a dream feed, idea then is he won’t wake up in the night. Swear by this...

I was up twice a night minimum with DS until 16 months old unfortunately. Breastfed but had a bottle last thing. He was waking at 11pm and about 4am. Then he moved to just 11pm, then nothing. It was a development thing I think.

Solidarity fist bump from mum of 2 shitty sleepers, now aged nearly 6 & 3. For your eldest I would say a nightlight is a good call, I suggest getting a red light because blue or white can impede melatonin production. You can get touch top ones on that cycle through a range of colours, they're cheap enough on amazon. You can also get white noise machines on there for about £16 I think so might be worth a try in case. Both my two have white noise and a red light. They're still dicks though. For your youngest I would say reduce to one feed either when you go up to bed or in the small hours of the morning, and do controlled crying. Honestly. That's where you do interval checks, they're not left alone. It's great that your little one goes to sleep at bedtime alone. So did mine from 4m. Still ended up doing controlled crying at 1yo and wish I'd done it sooner. Hopefully it'll be quick and effective.

My daughter was a shit sleeper and didn't sleep through until 15 months. However I was a solo breastfeeding parent so I would feed her every evening until midnight. I then refused to feed her again until 4am, this meant a week of shit times where she would wake crying clawing etc at me but I would just hold her and cuddle her until 4am when she would get fed. I never deviated from it, if she woke at 2am she got fed at 4am, if she woke at 3.55 am, she got fed at 4 am. I felt at 8 months she could manage 4 hours without being fed. After a week she started sleeping through until 4 am which meant I got a solid 4 hours most nights. It was bloody hard though and I didn't have a toddler. I'm also quite a tough love parent (and I have a loving strongly attached beautiful toddler now) but it probably doesn't meet attachment parenting standards!

Dream feed at 10ish.

Pick a block of time where DH isn't working and send him through in the night. Once LO realises wake up doesn't equal food, he may sleep. Do you go through too quickly? What happens if you leave him crying?

Once they were established on solids I always found a supper of something like Weetabix was more effective than a dream feed - something about them feeling full that made them sleep that bit more soundly.

First, sympathies because I've been there too and I know how awful the chronic night waking is.

This is the most helpful article I ever found on this topic: https://www.babysleepscience.com/single-post/2014/11/05/Interpreting-Night-Wakings?_amp

If the pattern is every few hours then it's almost certainly a sleep association. Baby needs you/ your boobs/ your patting to go back to sleep. This happened with one of my twins who I also sleep trained at 5 mo. Now they are eating well, I dream feed and then don't feed again till morning unless all else fails (by which I mean minimum 30 mins of stroking, patting, singing etc). Problem twin went from 3-4 wake-ups to a manageable 1-2. She's teething now which doesn't help but still a lot better than she was (and miles ahead of DS1 )

Also I agree with pp that some babies are just crap sleepers. My twin boy has always slept better despite exact same routine/ meals as his sister.

Just to add, I am still breastfeeding. No need for formula unless you want to IMO.

@Goostacean can I ask how you managed to get your LO to get to sleep by himself? What sort of sleep training? I'm so desperate for help in this department!!