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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask my husband to be quiet as he comes in from a night out?

54 replies

BumbleBee5w · 23/08/2020 02:41

My husband has been out tonight drinking with a friend. He got back about 45mins ago. I was asleep in our bed with our toddler. He went into our en suite and was jangling his belt around really loudly and then after he finished in there came into the bedroom. At that point I thought I was going continue getting undressed and make noise so I asked him to put his clothes on the landing for the moment to prevent disturbing us. He went onto the landing and slammed them onto the banister (turns out he was already undressed and thas is what the jangling in the en suite was) and then came back in and has shouted at me since then about how he was trying to be quiet and I'm unreasonable in telling him where to put his clothes. I have tried to apologise that I didnt mean to offend and explain that it was because I didn't want me or toddler to wake up and that know he was trying to he quiet but it was actually quite loud. He has just shouted me down, woken up the toddler and told me I'm manipulative and attacking him when hes vulnerable because he's drunk. Over and over again he shouted that I was manipulative and shouted how he was trying to be quiet. He stood up and said he wasnt sleeping in here and then stood over the wnd of the bed saying how it had all been sorted and his clothes would have been put quietly in the cupboard (which he kept banging really hard as he was saying it) if I hadnt have interfered. And shouting you're a manipulative, manipulative woman over and over again at me while me and toddler lay in the bed. Was I being unreasonable in what I asked him???

OP posts:
2020iscancelled · 23/08/2020 14:53

I hate this type of drunk person, it’s actually the worst type in my opinion.

Even though they don’t do it often, you KNOW when they have a few drinks or a night out they will switch and become aggressive.

It makes me feel sick to remember when I had a partner like this, being around drunk men still puts me on edge.

I would be furious about the shouting episode especially as your child was right there in the room witnessing it all. But I’d be More furious that he is well aware that he cannot handle his alcohol without turning into an aggressive arsehole yet he chose to go out and get drunk regardless.

That’s a great big red flag in my mind

OnceUponATimeInHollywood · 23/08/2020 15:00

How are things this afternoon OP?

What you asked of him was not unreasonable. Alcohol affects everyone differently. Whilst some (like me) are more giggly & then emotional (vodka makes me cry lol) some get angry and some times even depressed.
Maybe he thought you had spoilt his fun but his fun was already had while he was out and he should've made more of an effort to do things quietly once home, respecting all those that were sleeping.

Terrace58 · 23/08/2020 18:49

Cosleeping rule #1 is no alcohol. He shouldn’t have even been getting into that bed in the first place.

Suzi888 · 23/08/2020 18:58

Next time he goes drinking make him stay in a travel lodge.
Record him and show his mum!
He seems like he’s fine the rest of the time so he’s a bit of a knob when he’s drunk. Have you told him?

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