Husband doesn't spread to the edges

[Dandeliondrops]

Just that.

Plops stuff on toast in a sort of blob then smudges it a bit. What sort of insane person doesn't spread to the edges.

AIBU? I think not!

He is a beast. LTB.

You don't have to put up with this.
LTB

@GeistohneGrenzen

Is he a descendant of Just William's mother? I remember that lady didn't spread to the edges either and William infinitely preferred their cook, who did...

Now there's a blast from the past. Loved those books. And I always spread to the edges. Both butter and marmalade. Now I want toast and marmalade but there's no bread and the shop near us is closed.

DP does similar: although excellent at making awesome sandwiches for a picnic, he's rubbish with toast and will just smudge and dollop butter and jam in the middle of the slice. I think it is deliberate, so he won't be required to do it regularly.

He also keeps old glass jars to put things in but mostly they sit empty in cupboards.

Lol

The only answer is divorce.

Here's my first ever LTB.

I discovered this terrible terrible secret of my husband when I was laid up recovering from a terrible birth. He soon learnt how to fix it!!

LTB.
I hope there are no children in your home witnessing this.

I thought the title of this thread was a very strange euphemism at first.

However, only a barbarian leaves areas of un-buttered toast.

Kegels?

Mine does this. Turns out he doesn't like sticky fingers so intentionally leaves a margin round the edge to hold.

He has been made aware that this is deviant behaviour and spreads right to the edge if he's making for me

My DH doesn't butter toast as soon as it's ready, he lets the toast cool first and then puts the butter on. This makes every mouthful disappointing. He also never puts enough cheese on cheese on toast. I feel you, OP.

Feeling vastly triggered by the memory of my stepson, who would spread a huge quantity of butter slowly back and forth, scraping off the top layer of bread, then scrape off the unwanted butter back into the pot.

Shudder.

Time for a new patio.

Mine eats pizza with a knife and fork. What the fuck? I'd never seen that before. Odd.

MrsClatterbuck

I am a blast from the past. And because of this thread I'm seriously thinking of giving up low carbing

Is he Scottish? I remember working with a guy called Jimmy years ago and he was tight with the butter.

Fuuuuuuuuck. LTB and don't look back.

LTB (leave the butter. I hate butter on toast.)
Anything else, edges all the way.

My DH cuts slices of butter and presses them into the toast. They don't melt. They don't reach the edges.
He also eats pizza with a knife and fork...

Mine does that.
Also he doesn’t spread it nicely he daubs at it like some kind of oil painting.

My Dd does this!

My ex never used to spread to the edge and it would drive me nuts. That's the reason he's an ex 😂

My DH does this too, it’s very disappointing!

DP is equally incapable of spreading, IME it's linked to incompetence in doing other basic practical tasks too 😂

He is banned from making pizza in our house because he's incapable of spreading the toppings on evenly 😂