Are you scared of your parents?

[naechunce]

Lighthearted (kind of)
DH takes the piss out of me constantly as I'm always a bit scared of my parents opinion. He doesn't care in the slightest what his parents think but I still have that feeling of getting into trouble' even though I'm 42! Eg DD15 got highlights in her hair and I cringed when my mum saw it and asked 'is it bleach?'

Not scared, but wary of their opinion on pretty much everything. They're abusive shits though.

My parents are in no way abusive but very, very opinionated. On everything!

I’d say no, but I have 4 tattoos, three my mum is aware of, and a 4th large one that would only be visible if you saw me in underwear, and I’m so nervous about her finding out about that.
The last time I saw her we were doing yoga and I was so conscious of my top tipping forward 😅

I'm probably not 'scared' as such, just awaiting the disapproval! I bet they didn't care what their parents thought!
No tattoos here but only as I'm too scared! 😬

Not really but when i do see them i dont smoke, drink or show my tats. They saw 1 about 11 yrs ago but not the other 1 I had done lol. Im in my 50s, i take her opinions with a pinch of salt.

I was till my thirties, then I had children of my own and they started slyly undermining me as a parent and criticising my children so I cut them off. We are back in contact now and they behave much better. I wouldn't hesitate to cut them off again if they started their nonsense up again.

Scared of my dad yes . I wouldn’t dare question him . Not scared of my mum .

However my mum’s parents - I’m absolutely terrified of both of them, as is she . Physical punishment, very catholic and very controlling (ie she wants to choose my haircut for me, my career, my partner, I’m 30) .

My grandfather was worse - alcoholic - as we knew he’d think nothing of knowing ten bells out of someone he had a disagreement with . Frequently did to his own children and his wife sadly .

Mum doesn’t say much to either of them at all and realising as I’m getting older that to be physically frightened of your family isn’t normal !

Oh my god that's terrible! My in laws are crazy but total softies! Sorry that you have had a hard time

No one should be scared of someone knocking ten bells out of them 😳

Not any more, my dad is an abusive man who berates his whole family and always has done, always wondered why no one ever called him out in it, seems I am the only one who will. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Nope not at all

It sounds like I have a similar relationship to my parents as you do OP. Not scared exactly, just a bit wary, slightly guarded with what I tell them because they have strong opinions.
I'm jealous of DH's easy relationship with his parents, he'll tell them whatever and they won't have the same kind of judgemental reactions my parents would.

Not at all - my parents are genuinely the least scary people I can think of.

Definitely not scared, I always wanted my dad's approval (I was 16 when he died) but he was always the 1st person I'd show my new piercing/hair colour/tattoo (I was 14 when I had my 1st tattoo and younger for my piercings). My mum I could care less about her opinion, she doesn't even know I've got 3 children (8,4&3) she left me at an airport with a ticket to my dad when I was 11 and I haven't seen her since

No, not at all. I sometimes feel the need to manage situations if I know they will have strong views on it, but that has more to do with my neuroses than their behaviour.

It’s very hard to unlearn childhood behaviour so I understand why you feel the way you do!

Not in the slightest. To be honest though I'm a lot more sensible than both my parents, I've always had quite an old head on my shoulders so it's usually me rolling my eyes at their behaviour.

No, and I think it’s very strange that an independent adult would be, assuming their parents aren’t serial killers or something

I used to be. I don’t see them now. My siblings still do and are still scared of their disapproval, which I find sad.

No, they bullied us so much as children that rebellion took over when I left home.

I had a lot of fun doing things I wanted but they disapproved of, like having an international job or a motorbike, just to emphasise that their opinions counted for nothing.

No but interesting question.
My mum was quite shouty and cold when I was younger, then I got pregnant young and she was great. But when I divorced my kids dad she was awful. I was terrified of being on my own.
But then we made up and until she died last year I wasn't scared of her at all, I could rely on her support for anything.
I'm not scared of my dad.
However I am scared of disappointing him. But no matter what I do, which is constantly look after him really, he favours my siblings. They get taken out for meals etc, I get nothing.
It's really hurtful.

Years ago I talked to my aunt (my mother’s sister) and she was scared to tell my mother something. I said ‘how do you think I feel then?!’ She said ‘but she’s your mum, you’re supposed to be scared of her!’. Which I think tells you a lot about their family and my mother’s expectation of control over her own children.

No not at all and never have been (that doesn't mean I don't respect them or that there weren't consequences to things when I was a child). I have adult friends who hide the fact they smoke, or who they're dating etc. I've never felt the need to because I know they will love and support me regardless of whether they completely agree with my choices, I also know I can talk openly and honestly with them, which is exactly what I want for DS, and I find it really sad that lots of people don't have that.

I have inlaws who were scared of their parents. Their parents would ignore them and cause a big scene if they did the slightest thing wrong, like not visit enough or say something out of turn. As a result they ran round after them all of their lives.

I used to be. They are very opinionated. Criticise everything. I had a few times when I had to cut them off and stood my ground (didn't engage). Now things are better.
My siblings all back them up on their opinions but behind their back they mock their wives etc. I don't tell them as I don't want to stir but I feel they are foolish. My parents didn't have an education and my mum watches tv most of the day everyday. But has the cheek to mock people who are doing well for themselves.

No but I tend to know that my mum may not agree with some of our choices. She never says it but I do know.