To think people are over looking the benefits of going to work

[Poptart4]

I keep hearing about how great working from home is. No commute, saving money, more family time etc.

But I think people are over looking the benefit's of actually going to work.

• Getting out of the house, personally I dont think its healthy to spend all (most) of your time within the same 4 walls.
• The social aspect of working. Alot of people make friends or at least acquaintances through work.
• I know alot of people who met their partner through work. And alot who just had fun casual hook ups with co-workers. Either way there will be less chances at romance because you will have less social interaction.
• As a mother I find going out to work gives me a life outside of being mammy. It gives me a little independence for myself. If I was working from home all of the time I would never be away from the children. Never get a break.
• No after work drinks, office xmas parties etc.
• I've also read some threads on here about couples fighting because one or both of them is working from home and there getting on each others nerves. Couples need time apart.

I really think once the novelty of working from home wears off alot of people are going to miss the hustle and bustle of office life. And alot of people are going to end up depressed. Especially for people who live alone. The lack of social interaction will impact them the most.

I prefer working from home but miss a few aspects of the office. I wouldn't want to don't full time though

I don’t understand why it’s loser-ish to make a friend at work or at the school gate.

It’s not at all. I have a couple of best friends that I met at work. I dont work with them now. One is one of my closest friends for over 20 years.

I find that as I get older, work friendships are just that ‘work friends’ and although these friendships feel close at the time, they rarely last after one or the other leaves. Most fizzle out to nothing.

I think there are some people I get on very well with but only because the main thing we have in common is work. When we lose that commonality there’s often not that much left. That’s been my experience anyway.

@Bekksy

'Yeah there's loads of evidence that open plan is horrible for creativity as well and the best mix is individual spaces- sort of pods where you can work quietly- mixed with more collective areas and social spaces. That really suits me, I know'

Our firm were in the process of a complete refurb when Covid hit. Open plan or 4 desk offices but all had shared desks and lockers. (because loads of people already worked from home a lot) and lots of small 1 or 2 people pods, with different configurations, where you could go for privacy and/or meetings. Each coffee area has is like a little cafe. Community / Social areas on each floor, with awesome views. Very chilled.

The saddest thing is I got to sit on the new floor 4 times before Covid hit.

I'd be happy to work in an office in that kind of environment. Let people have some personal space. Open plan can be so claustrophobic when so many desks are crammed together in a small space. It's horrible for introverts and people with sensory issues/social anxiety etc.

We're not all sociable extroverts.

@derxa

Extroverts will miss it, introverts definitely won't! MN is largely composed of introverts

Again - this sweeping statement.

I am an introvert and I don’t detest working in an office. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. I think a 50/50 balance is the key.

@CousinRosamund

Everybody seems to think that introverts must love WFH and that if you hate it you must be an extrovert. It's not as simple as that.

I'm an introvert. BECAUSE I'm an introvert I've never been into socialising in big groups and have always found it harder to make friends.

Having no social life didn't really bother me before - I had my DH and DC and I got my "fix" of human contact and interaction at work.

I DIDN'T go to office drinks or parties, I didn't engage in " office flirtations" and most of the people in my office probably don't even remember me! But still, I miss them.

I miss all the wee interactions that are part of life - chats about the weather, complimenting someone on their dress or new hairstyle, moaning because the printer is broken. Even when we were all just working away quietly there was still a camaraderie.

I feel like WFH has brutally exposed the fact that I have no friends, and the loneliness is crushing me. It's worse since my DC went back to school. Every article I read about how much everyone loves WFH intensifies the feeling that I'm a sad person and needy person and that there's something wrong with me. And every time I read that work culture has changed forever I slip deeper into despair.

I've now been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and am on anti-depressants. I know the loneliness wasn't the only reason - I think I also burned out with the increased workload coupled with childcare and home education. But WFH is a huge factor. I did everything right - getting up early, taking exercise, getting outdoors, trying to establish a routine - but I just can't do it anymore. I would never, ever have signed up for this.

If people like me seem defensive it may be because many of us are depressed. Just something to bear in mind.

I could have written your entire post. I am exactly the same... not quite at the point of being on AD’s but have certainly considered a visit to the GP because I have been so low. Luckily, I’ve managed to get back in the office this past week for a couple of days and it has made a difference. Ok, so there is hardly anyone in the building and my floor is empty but I desperately needed the change of scenery! And I’ve already introduced myself to a couple of people on the top floor who are in so I don’t feel so alone. It’s felt good to get up and dressed, make up on etc and complete the short 20 minute commute to my office. And what’s more, and this is the most important thing for me, I felt glad to be home after being out all day. I started to really resent being in my own house because I work here too... that’s not on!

As an introvert, my home is my sanctuary. And WFH full time encroaches on that.

No, I love wfh. I am calmer, I love not being around people and can just do my work. I don't socialise at work so not missing anything. I exercise. I save money by not buying work clothes or on commuting costs. I don't have to get up at stupid o'clock to rush and get on a crowded train. I can play music in the background if I want. No office politics, no dramas, no gossip. Healthier lunch. It depends on your stage of life. I do my work, and that's it. I don't want to go out for lunch or after work drinks. It's been years since I went to a Christmas do. I am so much happier and at ease.

Forgot to mention. My DH is also wfh. We get along better, we are less tired, no long days, we are less snappy. Plus he makes me great coffee, and a smoothie in the afternoon!

I hate wfh, but then after years of long commutes I changed jobs 2 years ago to one I could walk to. It was less money, but by far the best decision I've made. I can't wait to be back in the office full time, or at least for more than a day a week, I manage a new starter and it's really challenging doing the induction online; they are also perched on their bed at their parents all day. I guess it depends, if you have a long commute, but space at home and don't enjoy the social side of work then of course WFH will be good, hopefully employers will be more flexible in the future.

ChickenFriedFudge
Getting out the house, feeling like you get a break, feeling like your own person, having a purpose.

I don't need to work outside the home or to work at all to have any of those things. I hate it when post think just because it applies to them that it applies to everyone. Just like the op.

Both options should be available if they work for the business or organisation. To be frank office lovers have had their way for years without a thought for people who would prefer another way.

Hopefully though, it will balance anyway and therefore suit more people. I hope it does not swing fully back to how it was.

But most people don't need work for social interaction, getting out of the house, adult interaction away from kids or a party. They do all this on their spare time with friends.

But I do feel for those who need work for that interaction, like the people who maybe live alone and don't have outside Company.

My husband loves working from home as he is more productive, less interruptions and no travel.

I guess it depends what you mean by social interaction, I feel it's more than just on a social/enjoyment level. It's learning from those around you, if you're having a crappy day someone having someone who can pick up on it and help or support, or just having a laugh at lunch. I don't consider the people I work with as my entire social life or best buds (although I've met some close friends through various jobs), but the social interaction as appose to sitting alone all day I find good, I mean I don't have non work friends come sit opposite me at home and offer the occasional helping hand or quip.

Whilst you are not wrong on some points I don’t want to socialise with anyone I work with!!

@Bourbonbiccy interested to know how many people out of the 66.5 million in the UK or the 7billion worldwide you surveyed in order to come to such a definite conclusion of whether "most people" need work for their social interaction.

So glad you told us what your husband thinks though.

Forgetting all the people who live alone, there may be others with DPs and DCs who don't have great relationships with them, or who don't have other friends for whatever reason, or who need work friends because they have the sort of jobs that they can't really talk about with people not in the field....or even those who do have all of these other social elements available but like and need a lot of social interaction with varied people? I know at least one person for whom starting working in an office was the catalyst for realising she was in a DV situation - all the rest of her circle before then were her DH's family and friends and she had no idea his behaviour wasn't 'normal.'

I agree with everyone who has said it's not as simple as introverts love WFH and extroverts hate it.

Introvert doesn't mean = hates people it just means = needs time of their own to recharge.

Lots of the self declared introverts loving wfh on this thread are living full time with DP and kids - it is not the same as someone living alone. I would say even the vast majority of introverts would struggle not seeing anyone they know at all for six weeks like some people had to go through during the strictest period of lockdown. Or even long term over the winter when it starts getting dark at four but most clubs/theatres/etc aren't really going to be open so are looking forward to long days completely alone, maybe with a catch up with friends for a few hours one night a week if they are lucky.

Hopefully there will be a revolution in home working following this. I have a very full life and I really don't need to go to an office full of other people to feel engaged. I work with a couple of people who have bleeted about being at home and are now in the office... complaining that the rest of us are not there! Frankly I wish they would quit and get a job driving a bus if they need people around them so much!

Frankly I wish they would quit and get a job driving a bus if they need people around them so much!

But if you applied to an office job, surely you should be the one to quit if you are unhappy going back as you're the one who doesn't like being in an office? . Hopefully there will be a balanced approach going forward, as there's no pleasing everybody.

@Givemlala
I applied for an engineering role the fact that it can be done from an office doesn't mean it has to be!

This introvert/extrovert thing seems a bit of a red herring to me. I’m a total introvert, I find too much company draining - but that’s one of the reasons I’m struggling with wfh. After a day at work (from home) the chances of me making arrangements to meet a friend are slim to none, so I’ve seen barely anyone apart from my DD and DH since March and it’s not been good for me. In the office I’d at least see other people and have a few more people to talk to, without requiring me to go to extra effort to do it. I’m looking forward to getting back to the office a couple of days a week.

I’ve really enjoyed DH wfh as he is around for lunch with me and the kids, and is around for bathtime and bedtime.

I suspect he’s looking forward to returning to the office, for precisely these reasons...

This introvert/extrovert thing seems a bit of a red herring

Fully agree. It's far more complex than a binary introvert versus extrovert thing.

I'm a lifelong introvert because of serious bullying throughout my teen years which also caused lifelong social anxiety and a tendency to shrink into a corner rather than being social. The simplistic binary choice of introvert versus extrovert would have me working in a room on my own. The opposite is true!

I actually like being around people, I like open plan offices, I like being in crowds. I'm just not comfortable when it comes to inter-action with people in any kind of social environment.

I'm fine if a work colleague comes to chat about work, I can give presentations to teams, I've done plenty of "in person" training individually or to small groups. One of my previous jobs was being an auditor which meant I went to a different firm literally every week to pore over their books & records, have meetings with their staff etc. None of that remotely bothers me. In fact, only a couple of years ago, I got involved with a village action group set up to save their library and became chairman of the group and did a few presentations to a couple of hundred people in the village hall, gave press interviews, etc. I was fine with all that.

But, when it comes to anything social, I just can't do it. I can't do small talk. I can't do parties. I can't do after work or lunchtime drinks.

So, for me, it really doesn't matter whether I work from home, work in an open plan office, work in a small office, work in my own office. All the same to me when it comes to the work aspect. I can work anywhere.

What is a deal breaker for me is the people around me, the ethos of the workplace, etc. If I'm surrounded by extroverted social people, who won't respect how I am, then it very quickly becomes a workplace I will be leaving very shortly! I don't want to be under constant pressure to go to workmate's parties, nor to go drinking or clubbing with them, nor to go drinking at lunchtime or the seemingly traditional Friday workers evening meal. Most people accept me for who I am and understand/respect that I am not comfortable in social settings - they may ask once or twice but get the message and then we become work colleagues.

Some just can't accept it and they're the pains in the arse - they seem to think it's some kind of weird challenge to "cure" me by making me socialise with them. I just can't get my head around that kind of attitude. What difference does it make to them whether I go out socialising with them or not? I just don't get it?

Perhaps they assume I must have some kind of miserable existence and that by constant bullying, they're hoping to do me a favour?

It's a shame really. One of my first jobs was, on paper, really good. Good prospects, interesting work, etc. But the whole workplace was built around socialising. They had teams for inter-pub quizzes, local football/cricket leagues, pub darts, pool and dominoe leagues. There were regular social events, not just Christmas and Summer BBQ, but also Burn's Night, Halloween, Bonfire Night - something every month. For social/sporty people, I'm sure it was heaven. If they'd just left me alone, I'd not have had a problem with simply going to the odd event, such as the Christmas party. Trouble was that they were relentless - it was exhausting the way literally every day someone would corner me and try to persuade me to do this, that or the other. I got thoroughly bored and fed up of the constant hassle and left at the first opportunity.

Yet again I am astonished how some people can be so smug, sneery, unkind and downright ignorant. To never be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes shows an absence of the compassion gene.

Yes, I’m looking right at you, Eng123.

I continue to struggle with it. My confidence has taken a nose dive from lack of f2f contact with people and ability to meet in person. Something about the performative aspect of work, the dressing smartly, the commute, getting your coffee etc, seemed to put me in a work zone I find it almost impossible to achieve through a screen at home. It’s miserable 😞

Youngatheart00

That’s a good point about the performative aspect of work. I hadn’t thought of that, but this is one of the things I think I’m struggling with too. I have a work “persona” who is far more confident and capable than I feel I really am, and I find it difficult to put that face on when I’m sitting at home on my laptop all day every day.

@BikeTyson I’m glad it’s not just me, although sorry to hear you’re struggling too. I definitely have a work persona, that’s not to say I’m fake, but it is a fake it til you make it type confidence. Feeling pulled together and being in a smart office full of other professionals really helps with that. It’s a sense of belonging I just don’t have now.

@IrmaFayLear

Yet again I am astonished how some people can be so smug, sneery, unkind and downright ignorant. To never be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes shows an absence of the compassion gene.

Yes, I’m looking right at you, Eng123.

I’m glad you said it!

BTW, I have also found that the ‘office politics’ has become worse since we’ve all been WFH for months.
Every feels disconnected and there is plenty of paranoia as a result. People are watching other’s presence online trying to ascertain how ‘busy’ they are. There is a culture of setting up meetings and then just constantly cancelling them at the last minute, with no explanation, as a ‘look at me, I’m sooo busy’ attitude.

People have become worse at my company and there are now many more corporate robots than before. I hate it.