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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Will/inheritance question.

119 replies

rattusrattus20 · 21/08/2020 13:20

I’ve seen similar questions posted on here before but wanted to get some clear views from a simple question free of non-core details.

Imagine a childless, married couple. Married for pretty much all their adult lives. One earns more than the other. Spouse A has 1 living sibling, spouse B has 2 living siblings. They want to write a will that, in the event they both pass away at the same time, leaves everything to their siblings. Which of the following do posters think would be the best and fairest split between siblings?

Thanks in advance.

(a) 50: 50 between A’s sibling and B’s siblings, so A’s sibling gets 50% and each of B’s siblings get 25% each. This split could be characterised as ‘fair’ in the sense that each side of the family gets the same/A’s sibling isn’t ‘penalised’ as a result of B coming from a larger family.

(b) An equal (33:33:33) split between all siblings. This split could be characterised as ‘fair’ in the sense that each sibling gets the same/B’s siblings aren’t penalised as a result of their coming from a larger family.

(d) Something else, focusing in particular on how needy/deserving/close/etc the three sibling are.

OP posts:

KaleJuicer · 21/08/2020 17:35

@Levrierssontmeilleursevrier it’s to recognise that males and females are now equal in the eyes of the law. As of course for thousands of years women couldn’t own property and it would just continue down the male line.

SunshineCake · 21/08/2020 17:38

This thread has been great for me. It has made me realise I am older than dh which means my lot won't get a penny. Yippee.

SunshineCake · 21/08/2020 18:09

@YorkshireTeaIsTheBest

I divide it equally between all.

I do know of a couple -very wealthy. They have two well off adult kids and currently 4 children - 3 to one (child A) and 1 to the other adult child (child B). There will leaves everything to the grandchildren in equal portions.

Of wealthy couple one parents has died. The other one is frail. Child B is worried as in 2/3 years they plan on having another baby -but that baby won't receive anything if Mum dies before they are born. A lot of bad feeling already that Child B is not being treated the same.

That is ridiculous. Money can't be left to someone by name who doesn't exist yet.

DH grandad was very smart. He left fractions to everyone. My two children were left 3/12s. This was his way of making sure the child I was pregnant with got some money as obviously he couldn't name a child not yet born.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/08/2020 08:09

what had been partly A's property/money might go to C and then C could leave all of it to his/her children and/or siblings leaving all the original siblings with nothing. Well yes! Because all of the money and property belonged to both of them equally and they had equal rights to decide what to do with it. No relative has any rights to any of it!

pilates · 22/08/2020 08:18

B
Keep it simple as you can tie yourself up in knots

daisychain01 · 22/08/2020 15:18

@MagicSummer

It's all a complete minefield - I would go for B on the premise that the lone sibling is not penalised for being part of a smaller family.

I have a difficult situation to solve too. I am older than DH, I have no siblings or children, he does and grandchildren. I do not wish the inheritance which I received from my parents to go to his offspring but would like him to enjoy at least some of it before the rest goes to my family. I don't know how to fix this without upsetting him!!!

In your situation @MagicSummer you'd need to reconcile the fact that in your bequest to your DH, you cannot place conditions on or control how he chooses to "enjoy" the money and therefore you'd need to let go of the prospect he could give some of 'your' money to whomever he chooses either in his lifetime or after. Upon a person's death, their will is executed and monies distributed, after which the person remaining (in this case, your DH) has their own will, which can be altered or destroyed or whatever up until they die.

So you'd state in your will whatever you want your DH to have, and the implied freedom to use it anyway he likes (as you're leaving it to him) and whatever you choose to leave your siblings. You may decide you will limit the amount of money going to your DH from that inheritance, to an amount that he's able to spend without it being such a large chunk of the inheritance.

Presumably you've already ring-fenced the inheritance anyway, well I'd imagine if you think your DH was going to be "upset" he could already be upset that you've kept full control of the inheritance anyway!

daisychain01 · 22/08/2020 15:21

An alternative is just spend the money together in both your lifetime, so you both gain shared memories of whatever you do with it, and bugger the relys

Spied · 22/08/2020 15:26

B. All equal share of house and cash.
However
Items such as jewellery, precious personal items and car I would leave as an extra to the sibling(s) I'm closest to.

MakeItRain · 22/08/2020 15:37

I think A, because each partner has half of the estate to leave as they see fit. The size of their families doesn't come into it as far as I'm concerned. I've been a recipient of an inheritance in this sort of situation. I was the side of the family who got less as there were more of us, and I felt it was completely fair.

clartins · 22/08/2020 15:59

Personally B - I guess you have to ask yourself are you leaving it to the person or the family?
Speak to the potential beneficiaries for their opinion.
I am one of 3 children and regarding our parent’s will my father wanted it split 1/3 each but our mother thought 1/5, 2/5, 2/5 based on how many grandchildren there were (to be left to us still, not the grandchildren). When they asked us with 2 children what we thought without hesitation we agreed with our father 1/3 each.

angelicabtton · 22/08/2020 16:16

Ours say A. But we have kids so less likely that any siblings will get anything. If my husband died and I married again - I would feel I should still leave his half to his family (so either his (fortunately our) kids or in the hideous event of them not being there - his siblings or parents) as he has worked so hard all his life rather than my new family (e.g. if there were stepchildren) but if I had new responsibilities (new husband"/stepchildren) I wouldn't feel bad about not leaving anything to my sibling (as I am not responsible for providing for them). That is why I think it should be half to each family (regardless of the fact that we have three very lovely siblings between us). Also I may inherit from my parents and feel that more of that should go back to my side of family (ie my sibling) if we all (inc kids) go together.

angelicabtton · 22/08/2020 16:19

I am surprised though that so many people would go for B as I thought A was standard so hope my 2 SILs wouldn't be upset

wifflewafflebiscuit · 22/08/2020 16:26

I've split evenly amongst siblings regardless how many in each family in my will

Tinythumbelina · 22/08/2020 16:42

A...

Joditaylorfan · 03/11/2020 18:02

WhatHaveIFound · 03/11/2020 18:09

DH and I have 3 siblings between us and our wills are written that if we and our DC all die together the inheritance is split 3 ways. However one of the thirds is split between the sibling's children rather than going to the sibling direct.

unmarkedbythat · 03/11/2020 18:11

B, with A as a close second.

TBH though, if I were sibling to one member of the couple I would not expect to know what the siblings of the other member of the couple were inheriting.

TingTastic · 03/11/2020 19:02

We’ve gone for B

monkeymonkey2010 · 03/11/2020 19:35

Why can't you just leave/split your own 50% share with your own siblings?

if your dh split his 50% with his siblings - would they each end up with 'less' than your sibling?

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