To say that I'm not enjoying my pregnancy?

[bluemoon2468]

Obviously I'm so grateful to be pregnant with a healthy baby and it will all be worth it in the end, but I really haven't enjoyed much of being pregnant at all. It's been relatively straightforward other than severe morning sickness throughout the first 16 weeks, but other than that it's been relatively plain sailing. I'm now 34 weeks and just very uncomfortable and looking forward to it being over. I just want my body back 🙈 There hasn't really been much of it at all I've enjoyed particularly. I'm constantly hearing some women (aka my mother predominantly) go on and on about how it was such a magical time, they felt so feminine and special, they're so sad they'll never be pregnant again, they would do it again in a heartbeat etc. etc. I can't identify with that at all... I'm genuinely dreading the fact that I'll probably go through all of this again one day. Surely there are other mothers out there that feel/felt like me?

P.S. I totally appreciate how lucky I am to be pregnant, that loads of women can't have children and would love to be in my position etc. etc. but I don't think that invalidates my own feelings. Be kind please 🙏🏻

No I agree with you pregnancy wasn’t for me. Mine was fairly standard no morning sickness, didn’t put much weight on but it’s still objectively not as good as not being pregnant imho.

Never understood people’s issue with that being said. My labour was also fine and straightforward, not particularly painful and pretty easy but I’d still rather not be in labour than in it.

Some women feel magical and spiritual and Mother Earth and some just feel fat and tired and sick. It's not a competition and nor is it a moral issue. It's hardly the easiest time to be pregnant anyway. I'm sure you're not complaining about it to women who are struggling to conceive, so just take it as it comes and drop the guilt.

I’m with you. I’m seeing it as a means to an end, but definitely feel like my body is not my own.

I also don’t enjoy the attention and the fact that I cease to be a person in my own right - I’d love a 5 min conversation with someone that didn’t involve the baby or how I’m feeling (complete with head tilt!!!)

Luckily my sister in law hated being pregnant too, so I have an ally to moan to IRL. It’s a means to an end, and not long to go...

I had a relatively straightforward pregnancy but I definitely wouldn't describe it as magical. I think your mother is looking back with rose coloured glasses!

Yanbu.

While yes, it is fortunate to be carrying a healthy baby and have an uncomplicated pregnancy, being pregnant is utterly miserable.

There is a reason why my dc is nearly 7 and still an only child. I never want to be pregnant again. It was awful.

Yanbu. I had a long awaited much wanted pregnancy but pregnancy isn’t for me.

I didn’t even have any severe problems it just sent me into a state of permanent PMT - I was sooo grumpy Plus people just lie ‘oh the nausea will pass after 12 weeks’, well yes but then the heartburn, insomnia and swollen ankles kick in.

I was waddling round a local fete a week or two before I was due with DP being relentlessly cheerful till I growled at him that it was much less fun with someone’s head bouncing off your groin!

That said I loved feeling the baby move about but it’s a means to an end imho. Not a state I’d choose to be in for a jolly - I like cheese and wine too much!

It's not magical. It's awful! I knew my second was my last baby, and the day before my ELCS I spent the whole day happily saying "this is my last EVER day of being pregnant!" My feelings have never changed and I've never been all misty eyed and wistful. You're definitely not alone.

@User7312019 haha this is exactly how I'm feeling. It's not like I'm feeling completely awful (post morning sickness), it's just that being pregnant feels so much worse than not being pregnant. Some women are dying for that first glass of wine... I'm just dying to be able to lie on my front and walk down a road at a normal pace 😬

@RandomTree unfortunately she actually is the kind of optimistic 'Earth Mother' who probably did genuinely love being pregnant 😆

I hated it. And I didnt have any sickness as long as I ate.

I hated putting on weight, in terms of it being outside my control (I'm ok putting on weight if I've been stuffing my face!). I am quite private and hated other people commenting on my body, especially the 'are you sure it's not twins, you're so huge ha ha). I resented my husband for not having to watch what he ate and drank. I felt like all the things I like had been taken away - drinking so a lot of socialising was out, lots of the food I like, you cant even cheer yourself up by shopping as you don't know whether it fits. I had lots of niggly little symptoms like thrush and sore feet and bad back and heartburn and eczema that on their own were not an issue but all together just made me a bit miserable. Everyone else I knew that was pregnant was through stuff like NCT and had been trying after years of IVF so were understandably thrilled to be pregnant. It just lasted so bloody long and I ended up crying about it most days. If it's any consolation the second time seemed to go much faster when I was looking after a toddler.

@ShipshapeShore hahaha this is literally me. I have a countdown on my phone going to the last possible day the baby could be born (2 weeks past due date) and I psyche myself up by looking at it and saying, you only have to be pregnant for X more days maximum, you can do this!

Not in the slightest. Pregnancy is often pretty unpleasant.

You are totally not being unreasonable!!! Being pregnant is really hard. Saying that you are sore and tired and fed up does not mean you dont want your baby or arent grateful for it. If someone had major surgery they would be very grateful but would still hate the pain of recovery and just want to feel better. Nobody would criticise them for that.

Just do what you can to relieve the aches and pains, and it will be over soon and your baby will be sleeping beside you, and you will have your body back. I slept soooooo much better with a 1 week old than I did at 38 weeks pregnant. Best of luck!

YANBU. I want children but pregnancy is what you have to go through to get there- can't say I'm excited for that! It can be very rough on you physically and mentally. Even if it isn't, there's no rule saying you have to enjoy it! Lovely that people do but it's not obligatory.

I don't think social media helps, if you're engaging with baby stuff online or following other mothers. I'm sure a lot of the people posting "bumpdates" etc ARE very excited- lovely, but if you're not so keen they must make you feel a bit crap.

I hated being pregnant too. I love my daughter so of course it was all worth it but I hated being so big, uncomfortable, needing to wee all the time, not being able to do any of the things I previously enjoyed. My sister really missed being pregnant when her son was born, I couldn’t understand that at all, I was delighted!!

Ugh you are not alone. I didn't hate being pregnant, but it wasn't all that and a packet of crisps either. My wee one is 4 months now and I still have moments of joy when I remember that my body is my own again. And it's so nice to not need to pee 143 times a day!

YANBU. Hated it!

Yanbu. I totally loved it but have 2 friends who felt awful throughout their pregnancies and definitely saw it as something to just be endured. You are not alone!

I loved my first pregnancy and had all those ‘special, magical, amazing’ feelings but second pregnancy was a world away. I felt restricted, frustrated that it affected how well I could care for my toddler and do my job, rather than love my bump I just kept thinking what state my body would be left in after. I was shattered all the time and just didn’t feel positive about it at all. Any time anyone asked if I was excited I thought ‘no’ but answered ‘yes’ and changed the subject. Pregnancy isn’t a magical experience for everyone.

I don’t hate being pregnant (got off very lightly with minimal morning sickness etc) but I don’t love it either, and I definitely don’t feel the special / feminine aspect. At most I feel mild annoyance when things are more difficult than they should be.

I think pregnancy might be something people look back on with rose tinted glasses once they aren’t doing it again!

I didn't enjoy being pregnant at all. I had horrible PGP and was wheeled in for my ELCS because I couldn't walk. If I had to do it all again to get DS I would but I couldn't be happier that it's behind me so no you're definitely not BU.

Nope yanbu.
I felt amazing with ds1 even though I was struggling. I had time to rest and I just felt so good about myself.
Ds2 I had a termination for medical reasons so this time I expected to be completely clinging onto the positives kf baby was healthy.
Which I have been... but I'm struggling with being pregnant. I'm in a lot of pain and feeling rubbish all the time. I just want her here safely now ❤

My DS was stillborn at 34 weeks in June. Some may think after that I’d feel bad for having a whinge about all my many and varied pregnancy symptoms and wondering how I’d possibly cope with another 6 weeks... but no, I stand by my whinging. Being pregnant is a massive PITA.*

*Obviously I’d sell my soul to the devil himself to have had another 6 weeks of healthy pregnancy and a live baby to keep me awake at night

Why would you feel that you are unreasonable?

Pregnancy is a huge ask for a woman's body. Yes you're lucky to be carrying a healthy baby etc. That doesn't oblige you to overlook the massive physical changes your body is undergoing, the restrictions and limitations. Some people find pregnancy relatively easy, many find it absolutely horrendous.

You're perfectly entitled to feel as you do.

I'm so sorry for your loss @Giespeace

I hated it too. Don’t get me wrong my lg is now 7wks + 4 days and I love her with all my heart but hated the pregnancy bit. Tbh it’s not the easiest time to be pregnant either with no partner support allowed ( I know it’s a bit easier now but still ) we’ve lost out on the bonding with other new mums, other new babies, labour alone ( and it was a tough one both ended up in HDU ) she wasn’t held by anyone apart from me or her dad until she was 11 days old, it’s just a shit time @bluemoon2468 but I just kept telling myself once it’s done it’s done. Hopefully you don’t have long to go and hope the next 6 weeks passes by quickly for you and once your lo is here it will be worth it wish you all the luck in the world x