To not make DH lunch

[threecats333]

Both me and DH will be working from home when kids are back at school. AIBU to not make lunch for him - he reasons if I'm making lunch for myself I can make him lunch.

I've told him to let me know what to put on the online shop for him so he can sort himself out for lunch and I won't be making him lunch. He is cross.

I'm sick of cooking 3 meals a day for 4 people. I fancy cooking myself whatever I feel like when I feel like for lunch. I rarely eat bread, DH only makes sandwiches or things on toast and he very rarely cooks. So it's not like he can make me lunch. He has never made a salad in his life. Over lockdown despite me reminding him to tell me when he has conference calls he nearly always forgot to tell me when he was free to eat lunch.

If I make soup of course he can have some but otherwise he can make his own lunch and eat it when he feels like?

If it’s as easy to make 2 people’s as ones, then he can make yours! Not sure why he’s so cross. Especially if you like different things, “this isn’t a restaurant” as my mum would say

The bit about how he can’t make you lunch is obviously ridiculous. He’s a grown man with a job, if he can’t figure out how to make a salad he probably needs to see a professional.

But if you can’t be arsed having that argument then...of course you can just make your own. It’s not your job to feed him if he never feeds you.

Tell him he can either makes the lunches every day Or the dinners.

If you're having the same then it would be mean not to but if you're having different things he can do his own, that applies to him too, he can do half of the week too.

So it's not like he can make me lunch why, he's a grown man isn't he?

DH and I are both working from home full time and we take it in turns. Would something like that work? Of course it’s not your job but it would never occur to me, if I was making something for myself, to not at least offer DH something.

Take turns.

If he's unwilling to alternate, what is his reasoning?

Take turns or you both make your own. How can he possibly "be cross" about that? Why is it ok for you to skivvy after him but he never does it for you.

I do usually make lunch for my husband while we're wfh but he makes more of the evening meals and all weekend lunches/ breakfasts. Also I like to have a long break and then work into the evening. He prefers to power through so he can finish by 6.

I make lunch every day for us both as it doesn’t bother me but why don’t you take turns if it does bother you? You are a team after all.

So it's not like he can make me lunch. He has never made a salad in his life

It's not exactly rocket science though, is it!

He knows where the kitchen is I presume? And how to use a knife?

My husband is back at work now while I'm still at home, however this also drove me mad over lockdown. I made his lunches for a variety of boring reasons but basically it makes it easier for me, all things considered.

If he only makes sandwiches or stuff on toast I'd just get a variety of ingredients in each week and leave him to it.

Making a whole meal from scratch for lunch, and then doing the same again for dinner, sounds like far too much effort. If you want a home cooked lunch, why not make a big batch for dinner and then you can both have the leftovers for lunch?

I spotted a nice new book about salads in 5 min in Oliver Bonas. I suggest he buys one!!

Let him starve, lazy bastard.

YANBU but only because you eat different things. But why isn’t he doing more of the cooking/meal prep/planning overall?

DP and I take it in turns to make lunch but we mostly eat the same thing. If we want something wildly different we’ll do our own. He’s cutting down on bread so if I make a sandwich I just do him an open-face one; we have slightly different tastes so he’ll put gherkins or very hot mustard in my sandwich vs his own, and I’ll use grainy mustard when I make his. It isn’t difficult to cater two slightly different lunches – IF both parties are pulling their weight. But it sounds like he doesn’t do breakfast or dinner either, which is useless.

As PP said, we often repurpose leftovers for lunch, too, adapting them to different tastes (that’s fancy speak for one plate has more salad, one has more bread; or the correct person with good tastebuds has lots of gherkins and the dull-tongued fool does not).

Go on a cooking strike. He does dinner every night for a week.

I do all the cooking in our house but I put my foot down to breakfast lunch and dinner every single bloody day half way through lockdown. They can fend for themselves apart from dinner.

A grown man who can’t make any other food than sandwiches? Does he live under a rock? Ridiculous and embarrassing.

Stop doing all the cooking until he has learnt.

Let him fend for himself. Funny how you're not 'cross' he's not cooking you lunch every day. Just let his petulance roll off you like water off a duck's back.

We both wfh and make out own lunch. Suggest you take it in turns and you make his only if he did yours the day before! If its that easy he won't mind.

I often make dhs lunch but today he made for me and dd1. Some days DD1 makes for us all (rare dd2 does but also rare she has our lunches. dd3 has been known too) Rare DS does as he just wants a bulk of sandwiches and most of us don't want that.

However, the key is we take turns and all do some for each other

YANBU

My partner and I both work at home and have done since before lockdown, but we tend to have lunch at different times as our schedules rarely match. We sort out our own lunches, which is usually just a bowl of muesli anyway. We have a “fend for yourself except for dinner” operation.

We both wfh normally anyway, and during the day we don't even make each other drinks, let alone lunch. Ds(14) gets his own lunch too -we all want to eat at different times and different things depending on my/dhs meetings

Yes he won't cook "real" food - ping meals, sandwiches or frozen food only. He can't even cook an omelette I've offered to teach him/gone on strike/ bought him simple recipe book etc... He takes forever to cook anything and I mean lunch at 2pm and dinner at 9pm - partly on purpose I'm sure. My teenager cooks to give me a break.

Problem is I have a progressive disability and I may not be able to cook in 10-15 years time. I try to eat an anti-inflammatory diet so a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch everyday is not good for me.

If I were feeling generous, before starting to make my own lunch, I'd offer, eg.

Oops sounds like youve married an idiot