To ask the mask police to please PLEASE stop

[PennyDreadfuI]

Another mask thread but I'm not going to apologise because I'm absolutely at the end of my tether with this sort of thing.

I can't wear a mask because I have trigeminal neuralgia and I've lost count of the stares, comments and filthy looks I've had (and yes, I do wear a lanyard, even though I'm not keen on advertising the fact that I have a hidden health condition). I've heard of people not being allowed on buses, being challenged by staff to explain their reason for exemption and being told they can't enter shops despite being exempt (none of which is legal). I've been told I should wear a visor (I can't, and they're next to useless anyway - Scotland have just banned them unless they're worn with a mask), that I should just stay at home (I can't and neither do government guidelines suggest I should), that I shouldn't use buses (I don't drive and can't walk long distances or cycle because I have inflammatory arthritis) and that I'm selfish (I'm not - if I could wear a mask, I would).

I understand this is a contentious issue but please, can people just think for a minute before they judge or comment? Exemptions are there for a reason - those who are sticklers for The Rules should surely accept and respect this one, too. It's awful that people are too scared to go out for fear of what's essentially discrimination.

The pandemic is bad enough by itself - let's not lose our sense of empathy and humanity, too.

And I'm not asking for 'sympathy', I'm asking that people don't abuse, judge or film those not wearing a mask. That's not sympathy, just basic human decency.

You’re preaching to the wrong audience OP.

Why not say something to people who actually challenge you instead of us?

We’ve got posters like that expat in Spain saying BRITS WEAR A MASK. And then you’re saying DON’T ABUSE ME FOR NOT WEARING A MASK.

And the rest of are like do what you like, we don’t care!

Most people who don't give a fuck won't bother to wear a lanyard. I'm truly sorry you are still getting abuse even though you do wear one. That really isn't acceptable. A lot of people on here are complaining about the wearing of lanyards though. Apologies if you aren't.

I don't say anything, but I want to if there is no lanyard evident. It really is fear, driving that. I do have sympathy for those who do say something as despite what people on here are saying, it is our business when we are protecting them but they don't offer the same courtesy back. Of course there is no excuse for abuse, filming etc if you are wearing a lanyard. That is so very wrong.
As I said before it's only genuine people who will go the extra mile and wear a lanyard and endure the humiliation of wearing one. Again, can I reiterate that it's not right that you should have to wear it, but given there are so many people who aren't wearing a mask but can, it's really them that are forcing you into doing so. I'm sure if there were only the genuine few not wearing masks then there would be more allowances being made for you.

It's a shit situation all round. It's not fair on genuine people getting abuse but it's also not fair that people's lives are being put at risk by people refusing to wear masks because they just don't want to, whilst receiving the protection afforded by other people who do. None of us like wearing a mask, but we do because we want to protect ourselves and each other.

It's the pandemic that isn't fair.

As I said before it's only genuine people who will go the extra mile and wear a lanyard and endure the humiliation of wearing one.

What a load of bullshit.

Be honest. You just enjoy judging people.

Nope. It's fear. Why is that so hard to understand. Why does everyone thing it's about enjoyment?

Not everyone who has a genuine reason for not wearing a mask wears a lanyard. Why is that so hard to understand?

I'm not saying that there aren't people who enjoy it, but why can't you understand that for the big majority it is fear driving it?

Trauma and fear of the mask drives you guys, why is is difficult to empathise with the fear of the disease and the want for as much protection as possible with mask wearing?

None of us are wrong. We just need to understand where each other are coming from too.

@Jeremyironsnothing

Nope. It's fear. Why is that so hard to understand. Why does everyone thing it's about enjoyment?

I'm not sure the man who was filming people without masks was doing it out of fear. Some people like to feel superior and to humiliate others. I'm not suggesting that everyone who judges people for not wearing masks is like that but it's undeniable that some are.

Yes I agree some are, but the vast majority won't be. There is no excuse for abuse in any instance either. But I can understand why people pass comment.

It’s saying things like

“Oh how i judge unless I see a lanyard. And I pass comment to anyone I am with.”

and

“it's only genuine people who will go the extra mile and wear a lanyard and endure the humiliation of wearing one.”

That makes it sound like sport for you.

I endured enough humiliation when I was raped. I endured further humiliation during my attacker’s trial. I shouldn’t have to endure a single fucking moment more humiliation just to make small minded gossips like you feel better. Just enjoy your smug superiority complex and leave the rest of us alone.

I'm really sorry you interpreted my posts as if I am enjoying it. I can only say that I really, really am not. It is purely driven by fear.

Perhaps don't judge us as much as you are asking us not to judge you? Although I do see that your judging is borne out of frustration, in the same sense that my judging, and that of many others, it's borne out of fear. Again as I said, understanding needs to go both ways.

Please don't interpret that as anything other than asking for you to understand that the majority of us are just plain scared.

Most people who don't give a fuck won't bother to wear a lanyard. I'm truly sorry you are still getting abuse even though you do wear one. That really isn't acceptable. A lot of people on here are complaining about the wearing of lanyards though. Apologies if you aren't.

I'm uncomfortable with the lanyards because I don't see myself as disabled and I feel it's diluting their actual purpose which was never about masks. I also think your comment about humiliation is interesting and makes me somewhat judgemental. I quite like sunflowers and am really struggling to see the link between them and something humiliating, having my bruises and lacerations documented, that was humiliating as was the process of receiving them but a lanyard...not so much. Should I feel shame because I was suffocated into submission by my rapist, thinking I was going die under him? I don't now but it took a long time and cost the NHS a fortune in therapy.

My psychiatrist is apparently having "fun" intervening whenever he sees someone having a go at non mask wearers including those who are just "passing comment". For some reason he really doesn't like bullies.

I used the word humiliating not because I think it should be, but that's rather the sense that I felt you guys felt. Again apologies if I'm wrong.

I'm going to bow out after this post as I really don't want to upset people who are already suffering.
My view is that the majority of people feel sympathy for those people who genuinely can't wear masks. You guys are just caught in the crossfire of upset of the many who can, but choose not to. It isn't fair. It isn't fair to use a lanyard for the reasons you say, but if that makes your lives easier then maybe that's an option.

I'm sorry if I've caused any stress to anyone with my posts. That's never been my intention. But please also I ask you to not assume that everyone who comments is coming from a position of enjoyment. It really won't be the case. People are scared. Really scared. Maybe a lot of them are reacting like that because of extreme anxiety. I know I'm very anxious about the whole thing. I just want to keep my elderly relatives safe and I'm worried about us over 50's too. Extreme anxiety is maybe not rational, not nice for you, but it's debilitating just like your own personal stories are debilitating to you (not saying they are comparable or as bad).

Please make allowances too.

Do actual public toilets exist anymore?

West end 2 off the top of my head: covent garden and Great Marlborough Street

Covent garden ones may have access issues depending on your disability

Why should I have to humiliate myself to avail of my legal rights?

Why do people have to interfere in others lives. I will never understand it.

We are the only Family i see wearing masks locally, because we are vulnerable. But i am ok with that because I don't get to decide what they do and I am not the police.

I must admit that we get funny looks and people do come too close, seemingly deliberately at times.

There are extremely aggressive people on both sides, mask refuses and mask demanders, but the people who want to do all they can get targeted unfairly on both sides.

I just wish society was less angry overall. But I guess this is to be expected following the devastation which tore through peoples lives due to the lockdown and covid.

Society is limping along fuelled by fear and hate, but we shouldn't actually be fighting each other, we could as a society, have handled this a whole lot better than the government chose to, but instead we are fighting each other.

Lots of advice people might find helpful (those who are exempt, those who find wearing masks difficult but are able to, those who are worried about non-wearers) on the Mind website

@OneTC

Do actual public toilets exist anymore?

West end 2 off the top of my head: covent garden and Great Marlborough Street

Covent garden ones may have access issues depending on your disability

Lots of shops/cafes etc are part of the Use Our Loos initiative, too.

"Why not meet in the middle and stop complaining about having to wear a lanyard?"

No one HAS to wear a lanyard. Some people really can't help themselves with making up their own laws.

If people really cannot control themselves enough to stop accosting people when the guidelines say they are not allowed to, they really shouldn't be out.

@PennyDreadfuI

Lots of advice people might find helpful (those who are exempt, those who find wearing masks difficult but are able to, those who are worried about non-wearers) on the Mind website

That mind late is excellent. Thank you,for sharing that.

This bit is especially useful (and welcome) in the context of this thread.

Didn't post the second image, I'll try again!

I must admit that we get funny looks and people do come too close, seemingly deliberately at times.

I believe there are a minority that do that, to prove that they’re “not afraid of a silly virus, it’s all a conspiracy, etc.” I’ve noticed it when I’m out. There are those who don’t wear masks, who are obviously there to just shop and mind there own business, but there are a minority who seem to like to try to make mask wearers uncomfortable. You can usually tell the difference because of their body language.

I’m not judging those that can’t wear masks, as my daughter can’t, but people still need to respect the distance advice, mask or not.