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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want some love before my scan?

28 replies

StealthLemonade · 19/08/2020 08:00

Putting this here for traffic.
Im 34 weeks and have to have a scan mostly due to having a big baby before but last time they also noted the baby has short long bones. H is awol as usual so I'm going alone (I'm always going alone but this is alone alone as he won't even be waiting in the car with our other child). I just feel like crying because I'm so miserable. Only one friend (long way away) knows I'm pregnant, mums a toxic narc so cut her out and right now I just feel quite crappy and low. No one will call to ask how it went, no one will tell me any encouraging or comforting words and today I've just hit a wall about being OK with that.

OP posts:
lyne123 · 19/08/2020 08:03

Good luck with your scan. I hope he goes well! Sending you a virtual hug!

swampytiggaa · 19/08/2020 08:04

Come back and tell us how it went please 💕 much love to you and I really hope all is well today 💕

timesareachanging · 19/08/2020 08:05

Good luck Flowers

Khadernawazkhan · 19/08/2020 08:06

I hope it all goes well. With thoughts and prayers.

Original poster
StealthLemonade · 19/08/2020 08:06

Thanks. Back to MN after years so I'm getting to grips with the new set up and keep looking for the "like" button :)

OP posts:
MissBPotter · 19/08/2020 08:06

Good luck!

Definitely sounds tough for you, why is DH ‘awol as usual’?

Dishwashersaurous · 19/08/2020 08:10

Why is your husband not supporting you

SideEyeing · 19/08/2020 08:14

I hope it all goes okay. Growth scans can be a nightmare. I was told my baby had short legs at one then long at the next (had them from 28w until she was born at 38). So many things can affect the measurements taken at a scan.. They're essentially trying to measure something suspended in a ball of liquid! Keeping everything crossed for you xx

ineedaholidaynow · 19/08/2020 08:20

Good luck

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 19/08/2020 08:21

Good luck with your scan today op, I know it's a worry for you Flowers

Please come back and update us after your scan.

Can you believe it's only 6 weeks until you get to meet your baby. How exciting. Have you decided on names yet?

Original poster
StealthLemonade · 19/08/2020 08:37

H is unemotional at the best of times, this latest stint is started because i needed a nightdress for my hospital bag.

No names yet, i didn't find out the sex and when we do names we have the first letter given to us after the baby is born. I'd find it impossible anyway to think of names (my first one i think i spent days writing lists!)

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 19/08/2020 08:39

What do you mean you get the first letter given to you?

Original poster
StealthLemonade · 19/08/2020 08:41

One of mine had short long bones before and eventually it was put down to stress (after loke 3 yrs of tests). Which makes this situation really catch 22! Sorry I dont know how to reply individually to people

OP posts:
Original poster
StealthLemonade · 19/08/2020 08:42

Little concious of making myself identifiable but in our community we go to our church and take a reading and the first letter from that is the first letter of the babies name.

OP posts:
YoBigMomma · 19/08/2020 08:46

Stealth - is that you??!!!

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 19/08/2020 09:02

That's an amazing way to pick a name, truly meaningful for your family.

I was always too nosy not to find out if I was having a boy or a girl, it must be lovely to find out after the birth.

Hope you're feeling ok op, pregnancy sucks at the best of times, let alone with the additional stress you have.

Piemam · 19/08/2020 09:29

Hope today goes well, hope you get the love you need. Flowers

TheBouquets · 19/08/2020 09:45

Hope it all goes well at the scan. Good luck

JemimaTiggywinkle · 19/08/2020 09:54

Wishing you all the best x

Original poster
StealthLemonade · 19/08/2020 10:15

Stealth who? Might be another stealth, my old name was more to do with the second part of my name now. I'm probably not very original.

I'm just in the car waiting for the lady to look after dc.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 19/08/2020 10:19

I dont undrrstand why, just because your H is unemotional, he cant be at the scan. Surely he'd want to know the outcome?

GetUpAgain · 19/08/2020 10:19

Massive hug to you OP and good luck for your appointment. Its been a long time since I was pregnant but your post brought back to me all the emotions and that needing to be cared for. Lots of love from one mum to another.

Original poster
StealthLemonade · 19/08/2020 10:42

Thanks guys, just sitting in the waiting room.

Nanny - H is above all this. He thinks he's amazing so any problems , particularly if they are caused by stress, are my fault and my problem. I dented his ego few days ago so this is the punishment. Even at his best, he's not interested in this sort of thing. I realised he just doesn't connect like that. The other week we went to the beach and he is a non swimmer and kept going outside of the flags with dc and nearly up to his shoulders. He gave me a phone to take pictures so i was abit trapped but even me, a strong swimmer, would never take a 3yr old outside the safe areas and so deep. He just doesnt understand these things.

OP posts:
Lightsabre · 19/08/2020 10:55

He sounds like an arse. Sorry you have to deal with your scan alone. Are you making plans to leave this manchild when you can?

Original poster
StealthLemonade · 19/08/2020 11:10

He really is. I'm still thinking, we were separated and ive ensured I'm not getting stuck with regards to housing, finance etc I'm definitely straddling singledom , I'm mostly single anyway. Whether i cut the last string and carry on the divorce is something ive parked for now.

Anyhow, scan is done, just waiting for the consultant. Scanner didnt say much which always gives me the heebeegeebees. Baby is still breech though Shock

OP posts: