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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Smoking neighbour what would you do?

73 replies

SmokeyChokey · 18/08/2020 22:44

I get on with my neighbours to say hello to and they sometimes take in my post. So all ok. They’re nice people.

Except they smoke cannabis pretty much most evenings all evening. I’ve been able to smell it for a couple of years and put up with it as it hasn’t massively bothered me. I’ve thought now and again it gives me a stuffy nose. Worried more and more. I have mild asthma and I’m starting to wonder if it’s making things in my house permanently smell and potentially damage my health. My curtains in one room in particular now smell faintly like smoker’s curtains I think. Not bothered about it being weed just the fact that it’s any smoke and smell.

I don’t want to fall out with them or embarrass them, or have any awkwardness, but I kind of want to ask them to stop. AIBU or not and WWYD?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 18/08/2020 22:48

Personally I wouldn't do anything even though I hate the smell of weed/fag smoke with a passion.

They're smoking inside their own home. It's a shame that you can smell it in yours but as neighbours, we have to endure all kinds of horrible and strange smells.

Even if you had a completely detached house, there'd be people in the area lighting bonfires and bbqs.

NonsensicalWitch · 18/08/2020 22:52

I'm not sure you can ask them to stop, although I can understand why it bothers you. Do they smoke indoors or outdoors? Not that it matters especially, but if it's indoors, you could maybe ask them to smoke outside. They would be within their rights to say no though!

DespairingHomeowner · 18/08/2020 22:54

I have the same problem: ask them politely to stop

If no joy & they rent, find out from who: they will be breaking terms of lease as many ban smoking and all would ban illegal, activity; which this is

Original poster
SmokeyChokey · 18/08/2020 23:10

They smoke outside when it’s nice but mostly inside - I assume. It’s stronger in some rooms than others so assume they do it inside and it’s the way the houses are built, with shared crawl spaces or something.

Yes they rent. And I do know who the landlord is but definitely don’t want to go that far. I’ve had far worse neighbours before, so quite like these ones, and they take in any missed deliveries. They may move on at some point anyway I guess but they seem pretty settled.

I’ve bought a good air purifier which works. But in the evening when they’re smoking, the monitor on it jumps right up and it kicks in at a higher level and it’s made me realise how much smoke particles are coming in my house! I’m feeling in a right dilemma.

OP posts:
peachpuppy · 18/08/2020 23:13

@SmokeyChokey If you have health concerns, I don't think you need to be hurting yourself to facilitate other people's illegal activities honestly. It does probably break their tenancy agreement, and secondhand smoke can kill ... Flowers

DimidDavilby · 18/08/2020 23:14

I doubt they will stop even if you ask them if they're heavy users. I wouldnt stop any of my favoured relaxation/recreation activities even if they bothered my neighbours honestly.
Do you have an idea of the layout of their house? I wonder if it would be better if they smoked in a different room for example? That's less of an ask.

DespairingHomeowner · 18/08/2020 23:14

Then your best bet is to stop smoke penetrating your home: block air vents, chimney, seal holes - & air property in day, closing windows at night

Original poster
SmokeyChokey · 18/08/2020 23:22

[quote peachpuppy]@SmokeyChokey If you have health concerns, I don't think you need to be hurting yourself to facilitate other people's illegal activities honestly. It does probably break their tenancy agreement, and secondhand smoke can kill ... Flowers[/quote]
Thank you. I am worried about the health effects.

OP posts:
Original poster
SmokeyChokey · 18/08/2020 23:29

@DespairingHomeowner

Then your best bet is to stop smoke penetrating your home: block air vents, chimney, seal holes - & air property in day, closing windows at night
Yep. You’re right. I think it’s the gappy floorboards as well. They seem to join somehow. I can smell their cooking sometimes, as they can mine no doubt. What a pain. They can be a hassle to seal but will have to look into that. I guess trying all that first is better than saying anything at this stage. Thanks for replies.
OP posts:
Doingtheboxerbeat · 18/08/2020 23:36

Slight derail and not helpful but I am pleasantly surprised by most of the responses so far, citing that most grown-ups will not give up smoking or anything else, just because a neighbour doesn't like it - the law/non smoking partners and having children does not deter them, so what chance do you have?
But... I did quit for my own reasons but my lovely neighbours and their beautiful baby, kept me smoke free. Just don't expect too much Smile.

Frollocks · 18/08/2020 23:46

secondhand smoke can kill ... Utter bollocks, no evidence whatsoever that anyone on the planet has died purely from secondhand smoke. Stop lying.

anditgoeson · 18/08/2020 23:47

Have your DM come over and completely innocently exclaim that your house stinks of weed and how disgusting it is, very very loudly. That's what worked for me!

Joking aside if they seem ok ask a friend to come over and declare very loudly how every8stinks and makes sure they hear. That way they are aware and you dont have to take any of the responsibility. Good luck!

DimidDavilby · 19/08/2020 00:00

Only 600,000 people a year globally @Frollocks

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2010/nov/26/passive-smoking-deaths-who-report

If they're smoking joints it's probably mixed with tobacco. So yes, it can kill.
Im sure there was a famous case of a musician who died of lung cancer but didn't smoke? From playing in smokey venues all the time. Not saying it will happen to your OP sorry but @Frollocks aggressive misinformation campaign has irritated me!

Girlzroolz · 19/08/2020 00:01

Asthmatic with heavy weed smoker neighbour here too.

I really don’t think there’s such a clear link to your health as you fear.

Second-hand smoke doesn’t usually mean from another building, through floorboards, etc. It means close enough to see smoke- like in the same room or car. Possibly sitting either side of a low fence outside? Check with your GP if there’s really cause for concern.

By all means increase the seals around your house, but also consider if it’s a bit of a ‘lockdown specific’ issue that you’ve only noticed after months of everyone being stuck at home? If so, it’ll partially solve itself?

On the asthma front, my understanding is that if it were affecting you, it’d be clearer and ‘in the moment’. Just having a bit of smoke smell on the curtains (for example) wouldn’t affect your lungs long-term. Most asthma (wheezing symptoms) is triggered by smoke. If you aren’t having breathing issues when your neighbours light up, then nothing to worry about.

I’d probably contact them only if I had a respiratory illness I was trying to recover from (bronchitis, etc) and ask if they could lessen the smoking (or do it somewhere else) for a short period.

WonderHike · 19/08/2020 00:08

DimidDavilby

I’m sure there was a famous case of a musician who died of lung cancer but didn't smoke?

Yes, Roy Castle

WonderHike · 19/08/2020 00:10

In fairness I think that’s a pretty extreme case and probably not too relevant to the OP’s scenario.

latticechaos · 19/08/2020 00:11

@Frollocks

secondhand smoke can kill ... Utter bollocks, no evidence whatsoever that anyone on the planet has died purely from secondhand smoke. Stop lying.
Er, Roy Castle surely?

Was drummed into us as children!

Nat6999 · 19/08/2020 00:19

When we lived in a terraced house converted to flats the person downstairs smoked weed & we could smell it upstairs, we ended up covering the vents on the chimney breast with clingfilm & gaffer tape, we slept with the head of our bed on the chimney breast, their living room was below us.

[AUTO]d3jqakcn9qlt2 · 19/08/2020 00:26

I would chat to them, they will probably be embarrassed. We had this with our neighbours, (we were the smokers) We've quit smoking and vape instead. No smell, and in sure our neighbourhood must be happier. I would have a friendly chat and make this suggestion with a non judgmental tone. Tbh they probably have no idea how much the smell is getting in your house. Try it. Most people are nice 🙂

PhilCornwall1 · 19/08/2020 00:43

@DimidDavilby

Only 600,000 people a year globally *@Frollocks*

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2010/nov/26/passive-smoking-deaths-who-report

If they're smoking joints it's probably mixed with tobacco. So yes, it can kill.
Im sure there was a famous case of a musician who died of lung cancer but didn't smoke? From playing in smokey venues all the time. Not saying it will happen to your OP sorry but @Frollocks aggressive misinformation campaign has irritated me!

Roy Castle
Anordinarymum · 19/08/2020 02:21

Bloody Roy Castle. I'd have a word with him and ask him to stop

ladybird69 · 19/08/2020 02:41

I was sandwiched between 2 families of heavy smokers (not cannabis but hate cigarette smoke). I spoke to council/ environmental health and was told that there was nothing I could do as they were in there own homes. Only thing I could do is move which I did.

Pixxie7 · 19/08/2020 02:59

Their is nothing you can do if they are in their own home. It’s unlikely that it will cause you any major health issues.

MoistMolly · 19/08/2020 03:04

Have a look at having a positive input ventilation unit installed. It forces air out of the house, rather than drawing air in. It will also remove any damp too. It shouldn't cost more than £400 to have fitted on the average 3 bed semi.

Pugprincess · 19/08/2020 04:28

Hi, are you in the uk or elsewhere op? Just wondering if your house is brick or wood for example? We lived in a flat and a new neighbour moved in next door. Unfortunately he not only smoked weed but was also growing it in the room attaching to us! On frosty days that was the only part of the roof melted, could hear fans going etc from outside! Police weren’t bothered. Landlords came out to look but they have to give prior warning of their visit so they took it all down and then set back up! (Fans were off for a few days then after visit all back on). I was mostly worried about a fire hazard as I have a dog who I could no longer leave home alone. My stuff was replaceable but he wasn’t. Anyway we saved hard and have bought a house elsewhere. Unfortunately we still smell weed here and there because the neighbours grandson visits frequently and he smokes it. So occasionally I have to close my doors and windows (annoying on hot days) but so far not as bad as flat. At the flat we also had a guy on the other side (the new boyfriend of a female tenant) and he was smoking it literally 24/7. We couldn’t have windows open and the whole street smelt. It’s a very pungent smell and seems to travel easily? Probably worse than fag smoke in my opinion. I was gutted that we still get this problem but I have to remind myself it could and has been far far worse. Seems to be everywhere now.
Anyway back to you, depending on what your house is like maybe you could look at trying to block up any shared air spaces like others have said.
We contemplated talking to our neighbour but figured being sandwiched by two in the end it was easier for us to go as we doubted they would stop and didn’t want neighbour wars.