Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MiL a-salted a birthday cake

269 replies

CurtainWitcher · 18/08/2020 15:58

DD's birthday get-together for a few family members in the garden.

I made a lovely (if I do say so myself) big, decorated Victoria sponge, which is DD's favourite.

DH handed a slice to MiL, who immediately asked for salt. She then shook salt ALL over it, before eating it.

It's not the first time she's salted sweet food. She says it's the only way she can "bear it".

Aibu to suggest she doesn't ask for cake, if she's going to cover it in salt?

OP posts:
unmarkedbythat · 18/08/2020 16:22

Well yes of course YABU, it's not hurting you, she likes cake with salt.

I have never understood people thinking it is rude of others to season their food to their own taste. Far ruder to insist someone eats food they dislike simply because that's how you prefer it!

dwiz8 · 18/08/2020 16:23

@Batfinklestein

That is bizzare! I've never seen or even heard of anyone doing this. It is rude. My DH smears mustard all over quite a few things I cook and it pisses me off. Same thing.
Maybe they just like mustard

Goodness me I feel for anyone eating with you if you get offended by people using condiments

LaMarschallin · 18/08/2020 16:24

Gosh, I'm a slow typist.

In the time it took me to make my post, OP, you've gone from suggesting she doesn't ask for cake, if she's going to cover it in salt to not considering talking to her about it, and her addition of salt has become frantic, as if the food is revolting...

Do you think that if your MiL had a drip feed put up she'd request extra saline in it?

dwiz8 · 18/08/2020 16:24

@CurtainWitcher

There were plenty of savoury, salty options. She didn't need to take cake.
Maybe she wanted salty cake

Fgs why does it matter

WellThisWentWell · 18/08/2020 16:25

Her saying it's the only way she can "bear it" was completely unnecessary.

Putting salt in one’s cake sounds gross, but if that’s really her thing so be it.

Not really sure why she even bother eating the cake.....

Please, don’t take it personally.

vanillandhoney · 18/08/2020 16:26

@CurtainWitcher

There were plenty of savoury, salty options. She didn't need to take cake.
Maybe she wanted salty cake.

Why does it matter so much? She added salt and enjoyed it. Why does it matter how other people eat their food?!

RyanBergarasTeeth · 18/08/2020 16:26

My dp always puts loads of salt and condiments all over his food before he even tastes it. Has never occurred to me to be offended by it. I might suggest he salts a cake next see what he says.

AryaStarkWolf · 18/08/2020 16:26

Why do you care, she's the one eating it not you

Original poster
CurtainWitcher · 18/08/2020 16:28

I don't think that she did enjoy the salty cake though. Looked more like she was tolerating it.

OP posts:
Orchidflower1 · 18/08/2020 16:28

Ok two things- it seems like I’m the only one who clicked on the thread thinking it would be about making or having made for you a cake that’s maliciously had salt put in it 🙈- me thinks I read MN too much!

Secondly yes it’s weird and a bit gross and rude to boot but if that’s the worst trait she has I’d let it go and put it down to an idiosyncratic thing. You’ll remember it after she’s gone.

Frazzled13 · 18/08/2020 16:28

She says it's the only way she can "bear it".

That's a little rude. Even a savoury dish, if someone cooked it for you and you put loads of salt on it, fair enough if that's what you like, but don't say "it's the only way I can bear to eat it."

donnatellme · 18/08/2020 16:30

LOL @Orchidflower1

That would actually make the thread much more interesting. As it is, meh.

ODFOkaren · 18/08/2020 16:31

Oh god, I do that Blush

I love salt. I put it on most things. Even cut up fruit.

People get so snarky about it, I carry around a little pot of it so I don’t offend people who have cooked for me by asking for salt. I just really like salty things.

I always feel like it’s a little pot of smack.

Original poster
CurtainWitcher · 18/08/2020 16:31

I have no interest I her taste preferences.

I do think the way in which she frantically applies salt to food is rude. It's very impolite to season food before you've tasted it, imo.

OP posts:
kingdomcapers · 18/08/2020 16:31

Well I find lots of cakes, especially those with fondant or butter icing too sweet and it has never crossed my mind to sprinkle it with salt. I just say no thank you. I do use salted butter when I bake though, but that'll be a fraction of what she's putting on. And I definitely wouldn't spoil a trifle, the cream and sharpness from fruit, and the booze rounds the sweetness

RyanBergarasTeeth · 18/08/2020 16:32

I assume the commemt about the only way she can bear it relates to sweet things in general, not that she is slagging off ops baking skills as proved by her putting salt in trifle the dh made. Not sure where all the offense comes in.

vanillandhoney · 18/08/2020 16:33

@CurtainWitcher

I don't think that she did enjoy the salty cake though. Looked more like she was tolerating it.
But why does it matter? She's the one eating it, not you. Let her do what she wants to her food.
Original poster
CurtainWitcher · 18/08/2020 16:34

I appreciate the fact that she doesn't like sweet food, but I don't understand why she asks for it, and then ruins it.

OP posts:
ODFOkaren · 18/08/2020 16:35

@CurtainWitcher

I have no interest I her taste preferences.

I do think the way in which she frantically applies salt to food is rude. It's very impolite to season food before you've tasted it, imo.

This is why I carry around my secret salt stash.

So many people get offended. The cook doesn’t have my taste. What could be perfectly seasoned to them is most likely not salty enough for me.

Then again, you could hand me a plate of salt for dinner and I’d add more.

(My health is fine by the way and it’s my only vice in life!)

wigglerose · 18/08/2020 16:36

I like to eat strong hard cheese with fruit cake or Christmas cake.
Ok, I think it's rude. If you don't like sweet things, just have a little or say no. I know people who don't like cake because they find it too sweet, so they just don't eat it.

I think it comes across as a bit passive aggressive, if the MIL said it's the only way she can bear it. If she can't bear it, don't go through the trauma of forcing yourself to choke it down and leave more for the people who will appreciate it, pet.
Still, it's not a hill to die on OP. It's a quirk and let her keep doing her.

Original poster
CurtainWitcher · 18/08/2020 16:36

DS made the trifle, not DH. I felt protective of his feelings when she put so much salt on it.

Weirdly, she has sugar in her tea. Hmm

OP posts:
BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 18/08/2020 16:36

I thought from you title that had salted stuff that other people would be eating. Who cares what she does to her own food? If that's the way that she likes it then why would you want her to eat it the way that she doesn't like it?

vanillandhoney · 18/08/2020 16:37

@CurtainWitcher

I appreciate the fact that she doesn't like sweet food, but I don't understand why she asks for it, and then ruins it.
Because for her, it's not ruined. She likes it that way. What's so difficult to understand?

She just has different tastes from you. It's not some personal slight.

Motoko · 18/08/2020 16:37

@Dyrne

I think what makes it rude here is the announcement that it’s the only way she can “bear” to eat something OP has lovingly baked for her husband and family.

I don’t understand it - if you don’t like cake, surely just don’t eat cake? Why announce that your DIL has made something so offensive to your taste buds that you need to do something fucking weird to force it down your gullet?

^ This! Why not just politely turn the cake down? No need to force herself to eat something she considers gross.
donnatellme · 18/08/2020 16:38

I appreciate the fact that she doesn't like sweet food, but I don't understand why she asks for it, and then ruins it.

I don't think anyone here knows the answer to this. Why not...let her do what the hell she wants? You'd be more offended if you offered cake and she said "Eww no thanks"