I have only ever been with one guy, who is now my husband, so I have no experience really to help me tell if this guy is being a good friend or if he likes me more than that.
for the record, I am only interested in being a friend with him as I am married. I have had bad experiences with friends letting me down though so maybe I'm just not used to people being this nice?
The guy in question is an older man I know through work although he's doesn't work in my organisation. He's about 15 years older than me and without being too outing about how we know each other, I think the best comparison is that he is a mentor to me. He advises me, supports me, encourages me professionally. He has helped me work through some work problems and helped build my confidence. Helped me prepare for promotion etc. I've known him about 2 years now.
I'll list some of the things that have been said and done that have made me wonder if he sees me as a bit more than a friend:
about a month or two after we met, he sent me an email along the lines of "this is off the record but I really admire you and think you are an incredible young woman"
On the phone about a week ago, he started by saying "I always look forward to our chats" then at the end of the conversation he said "Did you believe what I said earlier"
At one of our meetings, he arrived, made a picture frame with his hands and said "what a gorgeous photo"
He gave me his personal phone number.
He has mentioned a few times being straight and single
He has opened up about his care responsibilities for his mother and his history of addiction (now clean) and his weight loss, gym attendance, golf hobby, guitar playing, introduced me to his cat (on zoom) and says his cat likes me....
remembered things about me that I didn't think were all that important
Meetings regularly over run - we talk for 2 hours instead of 1
Introduced me to work friends of his
Asked me to conferences and events where he is a key speaker, asked me to sit on the panel - this could be simply work related or maybe he wants to see more of me?
Sent me text messages saying "you are amazing" after meetings where I've given presentations but again could this be a work related compliment?
Said "its good to see you laugh and smile, you have a lovely smile"
There are a few more examples like the above but as I said, I struggle to know if he's just being nice and trying to build my confidence as that's part of his job, or if this is a bit more than that? There have been times where I've needed his advice on things and haven't heard back from him which is another reason why I wonder if I'm just getting the wrong idea.
I really like this guy as a friend but I don't want anything romantic with him. I worry that he's only being nice because he has to be? Our mentor relationship is coming to an end but he has said "you'll always have me". I hope so, but as a friend!
What does everyone else think, is he just being friendly? Is this how friends normally behave towards a friend of the opposite sex? Cause if he does like me for other reasons then I'd be sad if that damaged our friendship.
YABU - he's just being nice
YANBU - he fancies me