To be annoyed at my friend cancelling last minute?

[poppyhoppydoda]

My friend is flaky,she's lazy and her ideal day is just lying in bed.
Anyway time after time she cancels plans because she can't be bothered.
I know I'm a fool for continuing the friendship.
Today we booked for 12pm to go for lunch.
With it being half price we had to book table and they needed food orders 24 hours in advance.
It's a small family restaurant.
I booked a week ago.
She text at 11 am saying she couldn't make it.
She had slept in ,it was raining and could we do it another time.
Aibu to be pissed off?
I'm not a bitch calling her lazy but she is lazy.

YANBU to be annoyed. The restaurant will be annoyed as well.

I'm still going to go and pay for both of us.
It will be less than £20
I feel bad for them loosing out plus I'm starving as I skipped breakfast.

Why are you wasting your time with this selfish, lazy individual, who places no value on your time or friendship?

Stop making plans with her and tell her why!

I used to be flaky when I had depression, not saying she does or that MH is an excuse for everything, but if she's a friend she probably isn't or wasn't just a straight up selfish arse. That said, stop inviting her out and tell her why if she keeps cancelling, that's not fair on you. Anyone else who can go to the restaurant with you?

Reminder - It’s 50%Off per person up to £10 so you can likely only claim for 1 Of the meals - enjoy and don’t bother with lazy friend let her bother with you next time!

Sounds like it's time to stop making plans with her, or at least plans that require reservations or that will put you out if (when) she cancels. It's no good continuing to make plans and then being annoyed, when her behaviour is so predictable.

Phone the restaurant and be honest? Could you still come and only dine for one or would they rather give the table to two people? You won't be able to get more than £10 off yourself.

And don't make plans again with this person!

I know it's short notice but I think I'd go pick up mum or grandparent or another friend and treat them to lunch.
She's not a friend. She's plain selfish.

Sounds like me when I had depression. I would always be excited for meeting friends then on the morning I wouldn’t be able to go ahead.
I’d find any excuse. I’ve cancelled three plans this week because my depression is creeping back and I can’t bear to do anything.
Have you asked her how she is rather than just binning her off as others have suggested?

Pick up another friend more deserving of your time

I think it's time for you to tell her how her behaviour is making you feel. If she thinks you're fine with it and there is never any consequence to her selfishness she will just carry on. Eventually everyone will stop asking her to go out and it's much harder to get friends back when you've treated then badly.
You don't have to be mean, you can just let her know that you're annoyed that she's cancelled on you yet again, you had to go alone to honour the reservation as you weren't going to shaft the restaurant and that you won't be making any plans with her anytime soon because she always cancels last minute.
You are not being unreasonable at all.

Stop making plans with her.

Can you get a refund for her meal? If not then she should pay. Unless you can get someone more reliable to go with you.

The only way you could make this work is inviting her as part of a group so the rest of you could still enjoy your plans even if she can't be arsed to.

Ask her for the money as it was pre booked.

You're letting her fo this to you time after time, and not saying anything. I dont get it.

YANBU

If she was ill or it there was an accident or similar than that is understandable, but this is a case where basically she cant be bothered.

I have a friend like this and I work on the assumption that she wont turn up.I would definitely not invite her on the basis that I was relying on her to be there. She is a lot of fun, when she does come so it is difficult to tie the cord.

Can you maybe take someone else, as a treat.

Dont make plans again. Had friend no time concept half morning gone waiting for her. She much better now. I hate time wasters.

hope you're having a lovely meal.

I wouldn't hesitate to drop her, she has shown you how little respect she has for you and for businesses who are seriously struggling at the moment. I'd also send her a strongly worded message telling her exactly why I was dropping her.

My friend used to do this all the time and it turned out she was struggling mentally, anxiety played a huge part in her cancelling. She acted the life and soul at certain times, and then all of a sudden couldn't manage popping round for a cup of tea. I'm not saying it's ok, but maybe more than just rudeness is going on here.

This sounds like the last time you can make plans with her. What a let down.

I've had a friend cancel on me 4 times in a row recently, so I think I might be done now too!

I hope you are there enjoying yourself now, maybe having a feast! You could have a doggy bag to take home if its too much!

You sure she's not got depression? Don't jump to conclusions 😒

I'd be saying something to her at this point. A short message along lines of, "It's really not okay to let me, and the restaurant down like this."
If you feel kind, feel free to reach out and ask if she is struggling with her MH and what can you do to help. But otherwise, I don't see why you should keep putting up with this behaviour. And even if it is MH issues, then she needs to put some effort into her recovery, even if it is just telling you that she'd like to get together but finds it too overwhelming.

Honestly this really annoys me. I have a friend who does this to me all the time! Always cancels or rearranges last minute.

At the moment she is going through a tough time, but even when she's not, she's still the same.

I would reach out and ask her if she's ok, if anything just so she knows how many times she's actually let you down, just a 'hey, you've done this a few times now, cancelled at the last minute, is everything ok?' She might say yes or she might not tell you but at least you've asked and if she's fine and just can't be bothered, she might think twice about cancelling your next outing ( if there is one! )