To hope that coming off the pill could save my libido?

[Anaisthrow]

Have been on the pill for at least 16 years now, and particularly over the last 8 years my libido has completely dwindled to dust.

I no longer feel desire, or lust, or even desirable, come to think of it. I have regular sex with DH 2-3 times a week but only because in a very abstract, remote sense I know that I want to try and maintain our sex life. There is no desire there and I hate the fact that I'm simply going through the motions or that my DH will sense that I'm an unenthusiastic partner. I want to want to have sex, if that makes sense, it just isn't backed up by the physical response.

Once I've got there then I generally feel more in the mood, but literally right up to the last second I could take it or leave it.

I miss feeling desire and passion. I miss feeling an innate, primal urge to share myself with another human being. I can't bear to think of it just going through the motions for the rest of my life.

I love my DH and I find him attractive. The only thing I can think is that I've often heard that the pill affects libido. Has anyone on here switched to a different contraceptive method and found their sex drive improves?

I need to do something. I'm fed up of feeling so...tepid.

I came off the pill and couldn’t believe the difference it made. For a good 10 days every month I desperately want sex and it’s just the best thing ever having that feeling back. When I was on the pill I felt exactly as you describe - just deadened to the idea of sex. I was on it for 10 years and will never go back to it.

I have also recently had my implant removed after over a decade of hormonal contraception and feel very different too - give it a try, I really think it messed me up a lot! I also find I am far less snappy and emotional!!

Coming off the pill and switching to condoms has made a world of a difference for me. I'd been on the combined pill for 15 years, came off to have a baby then switched to the mini pill while breast feeding. The mini pill totally killed all sex drive, absolutely horrific, things like smear tests were unbelievably painful too. Came off the pill and switched to condoms and since then have felt amazing, really enjoying sex with an increased libido and so regret spending all those years being on the pill. Currently making up for lost time much to DH's delight :)

The pill killed my libido too. I'm in my fifties now, and that take it or leave it but preferably leave it feeling is with me most days, but I still get turned on more frequently than I ever did on the pill.

Yes, I was on the pill for 15 years or more and I had zero sex drive. I came off it and I wanted sex constantly.

I came off it for that reason, I generally felt like I couldn’t feel any emotions on it, very weird.
I’m not going to lie, sex drive still hasn’t 100% come back a couple of years later compared to what it used to be, but it’s helped. No risk in trying something else is there 🤷‍♀️

Came off the pill at 48 to see if I’d gone through the menopause (I was getting hot flushes but the pill had stopped my periods, so wasn’t sure). My periods came back when I came off the pill and so did my libido. Now mine is higher than DH’s. I won’t go back on the pill.

100% op. I will never go back on any hormonal contraceptives. I felt the same as you. I genuinely thought when I was on the pill if I never had sex again I would be fine with that. Came off and never looked back.

I had an implant and thought the same - made no difference at all annoyingly.

I had a Mirena, had it removed to TTC and bam! Sex drive went through the roof! Haven't been on any hormonal contraception since then (4.5 years now).

I've been wondering this too, my libido is so low and I've been on the pill for years.
Neither dh or I like condoms though and I'm not sure I like the idea of the coil or the implant so not sure what other options I have 🤷‍♀️

The pill killed my libido dead, I came off it and we used condoms till he had a vasectomy. Tell dh to brace himself

Agree with posts above, definate return in libido (for part of the month) once I came off the pill.
Real periods and PMT is not so fun. Worth a go!

My natural sex drive came back in droves when I stopped using the pill - I have never looked back. The pill definitely messes up your libido. Now my own actual hormones are back in charge I have a very definite cycle and I know exactly when I am going to be having sex on the brain, like clockwork.

For years I thought my antidepressants were causing my lack of libido, until lockdown happened. I ran out of the pill and within weeks I felt the difference. I went back on and again lost it so this time I'm staying off. I'm certain it's the pill now, so I'd strongly recommend trying it. Hopefully you'll notice the difference too.

I came off mine for 2 mo this and put bc on dp. I felt so much better. But had to go back on it because he was useless in control of it. Irony is I'm the one that would like another child.

Months

@PurpleMonkeyDishwasher86

For years I thought my antidepressants were causing my lack of libido, until lockdown happened. I ran out of the pill and within weeks I felt the difference. I went back on and again lost it so this time I'm staying off. I'm certain it's the pill now, so I'd strongly recommend trying it. Hopefully you'll notice the difference too.

@PurpleMonkeyDishwasher86 Do you think the pill contributed to the reason you were on antidepressants? Because for me it did. Sorry, I’m presuming with that that there are no other known factors, and hope you don’t mind me asking that.

Ha! Suddenly it makes sense why I've been so frisky the last week or so! (I was told to stop taking the mini pill almost a month ago) My husband is already delighted, this will probably stop the moaning about using condoms! 😂

I don't mind, but I don't think it did directly. The lack of libido and then relationship struggles as a result of that, certainly contributed, but sadly my issues are deeply rooted since childhood.

An update for anyone who is interested!

I've been off the pill for approximately three weeks now...

...and I can't get my mind off sex. I am completely consumed by it. These past three days I've been almost terrified of walking out the door in search of more of it! I fantasise constantly about sex with strangers, sex with people on TV, sex with ex boyfriends.... anyone.

I'm thrilled and almost frightened in equal measure.

Same for me...6/7 days a month I can't get enough. When I was on the pill I could take it or leave it so to speak!

I had the same, I had zero libido.
Stopped hormonal contraception and BAM I'm rampant! The boyfriend loves it
I love the feeling around ovulation time, so so horny.

Does anyone else feel kind of cheated?
Like we've spent years under a cloud. Sold a lie.
I lost entire relationships due to my lack of interest.
I'm gutted I only got it back in my 40s, all those years I could have been having amazing sex

Same happened here, came off pill and turned into a horny teenager and scared myself. My husband didn't know what had hit him. He's happy though. @MrMeeseekscando I agree with you. I am late 40s and actually feel quite resentful of the pill. Our relationship has improved immeasurably and like you I feel i missed out on years of great sex as I has no libido. I feel so much more confident now as a female.