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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Public disorder ticket

43 replies

C1u4toff · 16/08/2020 08:35

Hi will be long bear with me.
Dh went out yesterday with around 10 people to celebrate the birth of one of his friends children. They got a train and went to a restaurant for food and drinks. Afterwards 4 of them including dh decided to go back to friends house to watch the boxing. They bought some alcohol and got on the train back. They made it to the next station and police got onto the train. They confiscated their alcohol. (which was unopened bottles of beer still in packaging in a plastic bag) my dh asked why they were doing this as it wasnt being consumed. Police said you couldn't have it on train at all and this went back and forth and my husband responded finally with you are stealing our fucking property. Queue being handcuffed and removed from train and driven to station and handed a public disorder notice. His options were accept it or spend a night in the cells.
Now my dh isn't an angel but never in our 13 years together has he ever been in trouble with the law. He sometimes gets a "I'm right attitude" when he has had a few but never to this extent.
Of course I was cross and tried to rationalise with him over the phone but this ended up with him hanging up on me. He was stuck an hour away so I rang his dad and asked if he could organise his taxi driver friend to collect him which he did. While waiting for taxi he rang and applogised for hanging up and I said let's leave discussing until tomorrow when you aren't tipsy. I said I'll be waiting with money for taxi when he gets home. He then says I'm not coming home straight away I'm still going back to friends house. Now I'll be honest in that I got cross at this. I told him he was ridiculous not coming straight home after this situation and wanting to go and drink more. He said what difference does it make? I said that this is not a normal situation and he needs to come home and go to bed. He said he would think about it and then he hung up. He came in at 1.45am after deciding to go to friends.
So as not to drip feed I do not like these group of 'friends' at all so I am accepting that my views are prejudice anyway but I'll be honest I'm seething about the whole situation this morning. I couldn't sleep, anxiety was up and now I'm stewing this morning while he sleeps it off.
I need to know aibu in feeling this way. How would you react? My better judgement is telling me to try and forget it all, not start anything as we are having a few marital issues as it is and I don't want to make that worse.

OP posts:
PaulinePetrovaPosey · 16/08/2020 08:44

He sounds dreadful, and not someone I would want to share a life with. Especially as you're having other problems as well, I would seriously consider making plans to break up.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 16/08/2020 08:48

He's lying. Its not illegal to have alcohol on a train. Its only an offence if you are deemed to be intoxicated or behaving in an anti social manner. Theres no way police would just take a bag of unopened beer off someone for no reason. Your partner's behaviour isnt due to his friends- its down to HIM. He is solely responsible for his own actions, noone else and he's behaving like a drunken twat. I would be considering if I wanted to stay with a person like this for the rest of my life....

Drumple · 16/08/2020 08:52

You’re not allowed alcohol on trains in Northern Ireland at all, except for the enterprise cross border train and the police will remove it (have seen it happen - central station, 2/3 years ago, train going to portrush on Easter Monday - police at the barriers stopping everyone And removing blue carrier bags. Also NW200 Saturday they do the same thing)

Clive222 · 16/08/2020 08:52

I agree. His story doesn’t add up at all.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 16/08/2020 08:53

You know he is lying. People use trains to get heir weekly shopping home all the time. That will include alcohol!

Your DH was belligerent and drunk! Sounds like he probably still is!

If you are having a few other marital issues then maybe you need to talk to someone in real life, get a better grip on how you are felling at the moment.

PleasantVille · 16/08/2020 08:53

Where do you live?

Apart from the possible breaking of the rules he sounds like the kind of person I'd dread bumping into on a night him, mouthy drunks are awful. He needs to accept his punishment and grow up

Pinkflipflop85 · 16/08/2020 08:54

He's bullshitting you.

Alittleodd · 16/08/2020 08:55

@Drumple none at all? So if you did your weekly shop and travelled home by train you wouldn't be allowed to buy alcohol in your shopping? Or is it only enforced in the cases of people just buying booze? (This isn't disbelief btw it's fascination)

AriettyHomily · 16/08/2020 08:55

He sounds like a dick.

SnuggyBuggy · 16/08/2020 08:57

He was pissed wasn't he?

isabellerossignol · 16/08/2020 08:58

[quote Alittleodd]@Drumple none at all? So if you did your weekly shop and travelled home by train you wouldn't be allowed to buy alcohol in your shopping? Or is it only enforced in the cases of people just buying booze? (This isn't disbelief btw it's fascination)[/quote]
In theory, no, none at all.

But in fairness no one could possibly do their weekly shopping and travel home by train because our train service only serves a few towns and generally doesn't go near any supermarkets Grin

Drumple · 16/08/2020 08:59

None.

Not sure how enforced it is in normal times but I’ve seen 4 50/60 somethings on the Bangor line with cheese and wine told to put the wine away.

Alcohol Policy

Passengers are not permitted to carry alcohol on board Bangor, Larne, Portadown/Newry, Londonderry and Portrush local trains.

Due to a change in policy, customers may only consume alcohol on Enterprise trains that has been purchased on board.

From here www.translink.co.uk/usingtranslink/conditionsofcarriage

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 16/08/2020 09:01

There's a few issues here

  1. assuming you're in England they were breaking the rules, should only be groups of up to 6 people meeting if from different households
  2. to gain the attention of the police they must have been been acting up which would have raised issues of public drunkenness and breach of the coronavirus rules
  3. he then argued and swore at the police which was a bad idea
  4. it's not against the law to drink on trains, you can buy alcohol on most trains with buffet cars/trolley service, so that is just wrong and would suggest to me that your DH is fudging the truth on what was said here

I think the issue was drunk and disorderly behaviour with an emphasis on the disorderly part and your DH behaves badly.

Original poster
C1u4toff · 16/08/2020 09:01

See reading the rights of carriage on their website I'm nearly certain it does say on this particular route that they cannot carry any alcohol opened or not. I am just so surprised. Its not like him at all. He's never been in a fight. Never been spoken to by police etc. Our marital issues are mainly my problems to be fair.
But no I don't think it adds up. I'm going to suggest to him if he thinks he was unfairly treated to not pay and appeal against it. His reaction to me saying that will tell me a lot I think. He's never an angry person either is as laid back as they come so I'm wandering If something else is at play here?

OP posts:
Bananacloud · 16/08/2020 09:04

This would be true, if he were of colour... I don’t believe it, if he’s Caucasian though. Sorry, that’s my personal opinion.

TheGreatWave · 16/08/2020 09:08

Some trains are "dry trains" so if he was on one of these then yes the alcohol would be taken off them. However for the police to have been called it is likely that something had occurred, so it wasn't a case of them just sitting quietly.

And whilst I am not all "argghh covid" he is probably breaking guidelines in going to the friend's house as well.

ClashCityRocker · 16/08/2020 09:09

Our station has an alcohol exclusion zone on Saturday nights (and Fridays, I believe).

They don't allow alcohol on the trains or platforms at all between 6pm and 1am.

OnTheWheelOfLife · 16/08/2020 09:09

I think the suggestions that you should leave him over this are a tad extreme if this is a one off! How drunk was he? Do you think there was a bit of showing off going on? I’d wait till he was up and then talk to him, he may feel differently this morning. Definitely show him the ruling that states that you are not allowed alcohol opened or unopened on that particular line.

People do ridiculously out of character dumb stuff when drunk. It’s not an excuse, I am a terrible drunk so I don’t drink. It’s easy, if you can’t handle your drink then you don’t do it and getting into trouble with the police suggests to me that he can’t always handle his. Will this affect your lives in any way? Work or finances?

But chat to him first and see what his thoughts are this morning. Make your feelings very clear and go from there.

CrotchetyQuaver · 16/08/2020 09:09

i think he's giving you a sanitised version of events. more likely that they were loud and drawing attention to themselves. never a good idea to argue with a policeman although i've done it myself, particularly when you're intoxicated and in a group of friends larger than current SD rules allow.

he would do best to pay up, learn from it and move on

Charleyhorses · 16/08/2020 09:23

He was handed the public order ticket more likely for being drunk and belligerent to the police officer. If so, too right. In that situation if they don't get right on it they are outnumbered on a train full of drunks. If it was the last train on a Saturday night, ie a vomit comet, they might put transport police on.

LoveSummerNotIcecream · 16/08/2020 09:46

Why did you organise a taxi for him? Does he not have a phone? Why are you advising him to appeal/not appeal the ticket? Are you his mum? He’s made his bed, he can lie in it. Just get in with your day and leave him to sort himself out.

PlanDeRaccordement · 16/08/2020 09:59

Police often abuse their powers in my experience so I would not be stewing over this at all. It sounds like we went back to friends house because they were actual witnesses to the incident and thus more sympathetic to him than you as you were blaming him for entire situation when you hadn’t even been there.

Chanjer · 16/08/2020 10:12

He's lying. Its not illegal to have alcohol on a train. Its only an offence if you are deemed to be intoxicated or behaving in an anti social manner.

I've had this happen to me in an alcohol control area and I've seen it done to others. I was teetotal at the time and picking up (fucking expensive) beers for my friend who's house I was on the way to.

Unfortunately some police are idiots and are enforcing laws they don't understand

Chanjer · 16/08/2020 10:13

Oh and I wouldn't have a problem if someone wanted to finish their night out after the police skewered it

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