To not flout lockdown rules for FIL Birthday?

[reallyagain]

So DP has planned for us to eat out with FIL for FIL's Birthday. We are in a current 'lockdown' area in England. This is ok so far as FIL lives alone so bubble.

BUT I have just been informed DP's aunt is now also coming. So this would be breaching the rules. I therefore don't want to go. AIBU? DP thinks I am

No, I wouldn't do it either. The more people who break the rules the more it'll spread.

I've not seen my DP for 6 months - LDR, he's a key worker involving care of high risk patients. I have no family, live on my own. It was my birthday yesterday, originally he was coming up for it - until my area was put in local lockdown. He still offered to, I said no. You aren't being unreasonable.

i think you are doing the right thing op but you will get people saying that life has to go on blah, blah. everyone must risk access but no point taking needless risk.

I wouldn’t either. Cases are going up and the more that break the rules the longer this will go on.

YANBU

YABU

FFS, how many people is she likely to have been in contact with. Poor woman, from your post lives alone, and you are now denying her the chance to have a bit of life. How likely is it that she has been doing 10 venue pub crawls, or has she sat at home, alone, for most of the past 6 months.

FIL lives alone (probably not partying every night) Aunt (same)

Don't go - they are better off without you with your attitude.

All 4 of us would be breaking the law, would have to lie at the restaurant if asked, and could land the restaurant in trouble if caught. I've heard of restaurants in the lockdown areas being closed for not following the rules

YANBU

Hang on, you are eating out, cant you have a few different families meet out? I thought you could.

Poor woman, from your post lives alone, and you are now denying her the chance to have a bit of life.

Bit dramatic. OP is saying she doesn't want to go, she's not stopping the Aunt from doing anything at all.

If the Aunt doesn't want to follow lockdown rules that's up to her. But why should OP have to do something that makes her feel uncomfortable because one of her DP's relatives doesn't want to follow the rules?

If the weather is ok could you eat outside? Depending on where you are that might not be breaking the rules (eg it’s fine in Greater Mcr to do this). Could that be a compromise if the weather allows?

YABU. If people start using common sense rather than blindly follow inconsistent and illogical advice from the government everyone would be better off. Are you realisticly significantly raising the risks of covid infections by inviting a lonely aunt?
Maybe you really should stay home and let your family enjoy themselves

Don’t do it.

This is why we’ve got cases rising again.

No it’s ridiculous. Figures are getting worse in many of the areas of greater man where there are further restrictions and the rules at the moment are going to have to change to lockdown soon.

My parents and aunts and uncles and followed everything and being screwed over and I’m furious. Literally looking for short term rents for them to come and live here till the winter is over, quarantine in a rental for two weeks whilst we take them stuff. It isn’t going to get better whilst people keep doing this shit.

You def are allowed to eat outside if that is an option.
Otherwise I would not want to lie to restaurant or put them in a difficult position.
I know you’re not meant to but you could nip over the border into a neighbouring county. What others near me are doing (not all the time I might add but everyone thinks it’s deeply unfair that the GM rules don’t apply half a mile down the road)

If people start using common sense rather than blindly follow inconsistent and illogical advice from the government everyone would be better off.

Brilliantly put. I don’t think we’ve got much choice but to try and use a bit of common sense at the moment, as no one (including the government) seem to know what we’re actually meant to be doing and with whom

This would be against the rules even if you weren’t in a lockdown area.

The whole point of these smaller, localised lockdowns is to try to avoid the whole country having to go into lockdown again. Unfortunately, if people in those areas carry on doing as they please then cases will spread and we will all be subject to more restrictive measures.

This would be against the rules even if you weren’t in a lockdown area.

This is wrong because the op says the FIL has formed a support bubble with them. They would count as one household. The aunt makes two households. Outside a lockdown area this is fine.

Going out for a meal with one Aunt is hardly going to raise the figures of covid. Look back to all the BLM rallies, thousands of people marching together, noone seemed to be saying people shouldn't do that.

Look back to all the BLM rallies, thousands of people marching together, noone seemed to be saying people shouldn't do that.
Lots of people were saying not to do that because of the risk of a spike. There wasn’t because they were outside.

The infection rate is higher in these areas of local restrictions.

I’d go along with it on this specific occasion.

@PurpleDaisies

This would be against the rules even if you weren’t in a lockdown area.

This is wrong because the op says the FIL has formed a support bubble with them. They would count as one household. The aunt makes two households. Outside a lockdown area this is fine.

Thanks for this @purpledaisy I thought everyone was suppose be following the 1m+ rules still. DH is in the extremely vulnerable category and we’ve been told to strictly follow social distancing so I haven’t read into the detail too much. It’s all too confusing, no wonder people have just sacked it off.

@lwonder, why have you decided the aunt is lonely? She was on holiday last week, off again next week and has a strong network of neighbours and friends. Socially active and not at all lonely

Has your FIL agreed that he’s in a support bubble with you? It’s not quite clear from your posts.