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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not flout lockdown rules for FIL Birthday?

54 replies

reallyagain · 15/08/2020 21:42

So DP has planned for us to eat out with FIL for FIL's Birthday. We are in a current 'lockdown' area in England. This is ok so far as FIL lives alone so bubble.

BUT I have just been informed DP's aunt is now also coming. So this would be breaching the rules. I therefore don't want to go. AIBU? DP thinks I am

OP posts:
Original poster
reallyagain · 16/08/2020 10:06

Purple no, he socialises with the aunt and formed a support bubble with her. DP thinks that if we (us two) eat out with FIL that's ok because we look like we're in a support bubble with him

OP posts:
Original poster
reallyagain · 16/08/2020 10:12

Clearly they all want to do what they want to do and the high risk lockdown rules somehow don't apply to them on FIL Birthday, that's the crux of it

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 16/08/2020 10:15

If he’s in a support bubble with your aunt, he can’t also be in one with you. They are one household. You are another so you shouldn’t be meeting him indoors.

WhereTheCrawdadsSing · 16/08/2020 10:18

Of course YANBU. If you're in a lockdown area, unfortunately, at the moment, the "life has to go on" argument does not hold water at all. It is very unlucky for your FIL, that his bday celebration fell during a local lockdown in his area, but that doesn't give you or him a special pass to break the law. Don't think it's in any way hysterical to think that.

Original poster
reallyagain · 16/08/2020 10:22

Yes celebrations of all kinds for people all over the world have had to be put on hold or compromised, including my side of the family. But apparently this one is just me being awkward

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 16/08/2020 10:23

If they are each other’s support bubble then they are regarded as one household for the purposes of meeting others. But all this quibbling over minutiae just goes to show how confusing and poorly understood the guidance (and it’s guidance not law) is and therefore, IMO, not unreasonable to meet under the circumstances you describe, so long as you behave sensibly.

Sunflowerlover20 · 16/08/2020 10:23

Very confused after reading this thread as I knew it could be no more then 6 at a table when in restaurants but thought that was the only rule. I have seen many on social media in groups of 6 but from all different households?Confused it would be obvious to restaurant staff that the 6 people were not related. Especially one group was a mums night out!!!!

AlternativePerspective · 16/08/2020 10:24

It’s precisely because of people saying things like “I’m sure not that much can happen because of one person” that the virus spreads.

So three of you are in contact with this one person. They have COVID, the three of you go home and you all go and work in your different jobs respectively, each with ten other people. Those people are then exposed and some contract the virus and in turn go home to their families of three/four who also have contacts at work etc - it’s like a ripple effect.

Look at what’s happening in New Zealand. Four new cases on Monday, now they’re over 35 cases and the country is back in lockdown.

And it happens that quickly.

Original poster
reallyagain · 16/08/2020 10:27

Alternative I agree. In terms of the risk point I agree with you, but am also further concerned that we're knowingly and blatantly flouting the rules in a high risk lockdown area

OP posts:
Sparticuscaticus · 16/08/2020 11:31

If it's against the rules in a local lockdown then you can't do it

You can be fined and put restaurant at risk , all those jobs.. but also if everyone broke the rules then what's the point of local lockdowns to avoid spreading it?

Aunty isn't lonely, she's been mixing with others. So she's going to have had more
Opportunity to catch it and could be asymptomatic

So FIL is in support bubble with Aunty he can't also be in one with you. If you aren't allowed to go to restaurant as well as them in their support bubble, then don't

You can FaceTime in during the meal. You can meet him at social distance outside on the day or day after? You can't have it all, even for his birthday. My DD missed her 16th birthday, my parents their 55th anniversary party, my second cousin missed her huge wedding, it was tiny and not what she wanted, but meh- pandemic. Plenty of children have been thrown to the wolves in their exam results. I'm sure Mr Brown from Lockdowntown is old enough to realise his birthday dinner out isn't the exception the local emergency lockdown should be lifted for.

Original poster
reallyagain · 16/08/2020 11:38

Sparticus I'm going to read your post to DP, you've very eloquently described what I've been trying to tell him

OP posts:
user1487194234 · 16/08/2020 12:21

Your call of course but personally I would not have an issue with it

Original poster
reallyagain · 16/08/2020 12:34

User only asking as I'm genuinely curious to understand - is that because you don't support local lockdowns, or that you think it's ok to flout them for celebrations?

OP posts:
Original poster
reallyagain · 16/08/2020 12:35

The reason goes for local lockdown in our area was specifically because most cases were being linked to family get-togethers

OP posts:
welcometohell · 16/08/2020 12:43

Going out for a meal with one Aunt is hardly going to raise the figures of covid.

It will if everyone takes that attitude.

bingbong1970 · 16/08/2020 13:03

@killerofmen

No, I wouldn't do it either. The more people who break the rules the more it'll spread.
Please try to stop that silliness now. It's over.
PimlicoJo · 16/08/2020 13:10

I can't believe you wouldn't do this.

anon5000 · 16/08/2020 13:13

I'd do it.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 16/08/2020 13:16

Please try to stop that silliness now. It's over

What is?

bingbong1970 · 16/08/2020 13:16

@welcometohell

Going out for a meal with one Aunt is hardly going to raise the figures of covid.

It will if everyone takes that attitude.

There is a greater probability of dying from Influenza than from Covid 19.
bingbong1970 · 16/08/2020 13:18

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Please try to stop that silliness now. It's over

What is?

Pandemic.
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 16/08/2020 13:24

Mmm of course it is Hmm

HeddaGarbled · 16/08/2020 13:41

The guidelines are based on informed guesswork and very few people in an official capacity expect us to follow them to the letter in every single circumstance, and certainly don’t themselves.

minnieok · 16/08/2020 13:45

Use common sense, does fil see anyone other than you, does aunt? How much risk is there of her carrying Covid? Some rules need to be adhered too but some you need to take a common sense approach, it's his sister I'm guessing, it's low risk and she could legally sit 1m from you on a separate table anyway, put her at the end maybe?

minnieok · 16/08/2020 13:49

So if you see fil you are breaking lockdown anyway, therefore the aunt being there is irrelevant because she's in the support bubble? Meet outside, problem solved

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