AIBU to be fed up with my niece and nephews each holiday?

[SockYarn]

Every holiday my two teenage nephews and their 10 year old sister descend on my quiet home. We live in the country in Dorset, there's just me, my DH who is an academic and works in the study, teenage DD (who appears to be experimenting with being genderfluid) and the dog.

I really don't mind having the extra children in the house. But they keep getting into adventures and the Police have been involved in the past. And they get through a LOT of ginger beer.

AIBU to say I've had enough of their scrapes and mysteries?

Send them off with their European Royalty school friend in his private plane. When they crash land in the African desert they will have such fun exploring nearby mountains with the local child tour guide!

Can I ask you a question though? Do many people like me snigger at your name, Fanny?

People wouldn't be so uncouth.

They do wonder what DH is actually studying though.

Just send them out on their bikes every morning, armed with sandwiches, cakes and ginger beer! Forget about them until they come in the evening to regale you with their (inevitable) adventures! (I don’t know if you’re keeping track of their escapades but you have 22 in total to look forward to. )

I'd start making notes about their adventures. There's probably a book in it.

@refusetobeasheep

Can Darryl pop over and join this year?

Of course. She's a good influence on DD and Felicity gets on so well with my niece.

It will have to be the week after next though, as we're expecting the twins Patricia and Isabel tomorrow before they head back to school.

You need to have strong words with your sister. Boarding school all term and then just packs them off to yours every holiday. When do her and her dh actually do any parenting?

I think the children are the least of your worries.
Have you considered doing the freedom programme because your "academic " DJ is an abusive twat.

@VictoriousSockPuppet

To be fair, your niece does a LOT of cleaning and cooking while she's there. And the two boys are jolly helpful too

Well she's a girl isn't she! Girls do the cooking and cleaning, boys get into smashing japes. 'Tis the way of the world.

And I agree DD is the instigator of a lot of the scrapes. We're working on it. Sticker chart didn't work. I've confiscated her Swiss Army knife and book on knots. Banned camping.

*dh!

@Prettybluepigeons

I think the children are the least of your worries. Have you considered doing the freedom programme because your "academic " DJ is an abusive twat.

To be fair, he has been kidnapped and held hostage more than once.

Well you could get a tutor in to look after them all...what could possibly go wrong?

I hear there's another group of youngsters in the Lake District who spend the summers messing about on boats. How about sending them north?

@JenandFlo

Well you could get a tutor in to look after them all...what could possibly go wrong?

Indeed. No need to bother about DBS or any of that nonsense.

I dont get it?

I think you're so progressive getting your husband and daughter to take your family name. It's weird though isn't it that you hadn't seen this kids since they were tiny (and apparently didn't keep in touch with their parents) but now they turn up every holiday. Has their been trouble with their own parents? I see you don't let your DD ever visit her aunt and uncle (and no-one could call you over-protective!)

This cheered me right up!

Could you put in a word with your eldest nephew for me? I always thought he was rather dishy.

I would be careful you know. They mix with all sorts of ruffians in their adventures. I am not convinced the proposed caravan trip is a good idea. It sounds a bit too much like running off to join the circus.

It's there a nearby secret passage you could trap them in? They're surprisingly common in your part of the world, I believe.

Oh my!
Missed the bracket in your opening and read it as 'experimenting with gender fluid and the dog'
I went all hot and lightheaded for a moment... I'm alright now - I've had a cup of tea and biscuit.

I suggest you enrol your daughter in that posh boarding school up in the mountains (Switzerland?) asap. Then she won't have time to experiment with gender fluidity as she'll be so busy trying to remember if she's meant to speak French on Tuesdays and German on Wednesdays, or whether it's the other way around.

Do they hold outdated and slightly racist and classist views?

@Loockdownsucks

They’re very Famous and there’s Five of them.

Remember who found all that gold in the fallen down castle you own...

Could you send them to do some fruit/veg picking as we're short on labour due to travel restrictions and it's only fair after they blagged all the cake and eggs last year.

Best wishes

Farmer's wife.