Page 3 | Masks in soft play and children’s activities

TempsPerdu · 14/08/2020 11:45

I understand OP. I hate masks too, and the idea of masks at soft play is just depressing. I think if it’s just a case of masking up for an hour or so your DD’s speech and language development should be fine, but I’d worry more if we started emulating other countries who insist on masks outdoors and in all public spaces. And having taught Early Years in the past I regard masks in any childcare setting as lunacy. I’ve been taking DD2 swimming, which is a nice rainy day activity where masks aren’t required, but DD’s music class is due to restart in September and I have no idea how a kids’ music group is meant to function with masks and no singing!

I definitely feel that the needs of women and children have been very much bottom of the pile throughout the pandemic. In particular, if mask-wearing persists long term or is expanded to more settings, I am fairly certain that Reception teachers in a few years time will be flagging up pupils’ diminished social and communication skills. It’s not just a case of being mask-free in the home (although with many families trying to combine WFH with childcare even communication here will often be lacking), but also the little daily social interactions that are being missed in shops, cafes and other settings.

As for all those posters insisting that we just need to get our wellies on and spend the winter outside, I’m pretty sure that the popularity of soft plays in the UK owes a great deal to our uniquely miserable climate. I’m fairly outdoorsy, but would infinitely prefer the crisp cold of continental Europe and Scandinavia to the mix of relentless drizzle, murk and lashing winds of the U.K. Let’s face it, our winter weather is generally shit, and often not much mitigated by a few layers and a cagoule.

And woe betide anyone who mentions ventilators...

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 14/08/2020 12:07

Just think of all the other rank soft play dwelling bugs you'll avoid this winter. There's a positive.
As parents we've got to start thinking outside of the box and find new activities to accommodate this "new normal". Much more outdoor play and learning, getting creative with play dates and socialising safely. Its a massive learning curve but it could be very positive. Soft plays were basically a free for all where many kids were not watched while parents sat and had a cappuccino and a chat. Kids will get just as much in terms of physical activity in a playground or the woods.

flumposie · 14/08/2020 12:19

Yesterday was the first time I had to wear a mask for a long period of time. 3 train journeys and then a shopping centre for about 4 hours solid ( unable to see my family in their homes due to local lockdown ). Yes it was slightly uncomfortable but if we have to wear them to do things then you have to try to get used to them. Try to build up time. I'm now not as anxious over a 3 hour train journey I have to make soon or wearing one for museums etc

TempsPerdu · 14/08/2020 12:24

@flumposie

Glad your masked outing wasn’t too bad. Do you mind me asking - did you have DC with you? I’m finding it’s one thing coping with mask-wearing if it’s just me and I can focus on breathing properly, staying comfortable etc, but quite another when I have toddler DD in tow and have to communicate constantly with her, wrestle with the buggy, monitor what she’s doing etc. I end up feeling really quite unwell trying to do all this with a mask on - I have issues with chronic rhinitis and find it tricky to breathe/speak properly. Wondering if things will get better with practice!

Original poster

Snailsetssail · 14/08/2020 12:34

Those suggesting playdates- these only work if you have friends! I have very very few friends who don’t work and have a child a similar age to me.

I go to Playgroups to talk to other adults and attempt to make friends. I don’t have anyone from the ones I used to go to that I could set up play dates with as I don’t have any of their contact details.

As for being precious- I’m not really sure why finding wearing something across my nose and mouth that hinders my breathing is seemed as precious? I’m allowed to not like them, and I’m allowed to vent my frustration on a parent site.

As for making excuses not to wear one- I 100% always comply with wearing one in places that it is a legal requirement. I am simply saying why I find it uncomfortable to do so. I technically could say I’m exempt because of my diagnosed anxiety, but I don’t because I understand the social responsibility of me wearing one and want to teach my children that. I am just having to avoid anywhere that requires one for more than 10 minutes as I then start to struggle.

OP posts:

flumposie · 14/08/2020 12:41

@TempsPerdu I had my DD with me. She is not as young as your children so not upset by the masks and so I didn't have to focus on her. I had my elderly mum with me in a wheelchair. She struggled with her mask physically and so I am considering looking into one of the lanyards that explain why you are unable to wear a mask. I saw one man on a train with one. Could you order one for yourself if you are unable to build up time wearing one ?

Firawla · 14/08/2020 13:56

Op yanbu, it’s crap. I don’t want to wear masks in soft play either. Tbh if you buy a drink / food and keep it near you at your table you’ll probably get away with not wearing it because youre eating...
I’m waiting to see what the rules are gonna be near us, like normally you see a lot of parents in the frame with the very young kids.. will they ban this now? 🤔

SoloMummy · 14/08/2020 18:48

@Snailsetssail

Those suggesting playdates- these only work if you have friends! I have very very few friends who don’t work and have a child a similar age to me.

I go to Playgroups to talk to other adults and attempt to make friends. I don’t have anyone from the ones I used to go to that I could set up play dates with as I don’t have any of their contact details.

As for being precious- I’m not really sure why finding wearing something across my nose and mouth that hinders my breathing is seemed as precious? I’m allowed to not like them, and I’m allowed to vent my frustration on a parent site.

As for making excuses not to wear one- I 100% always comply with wearing one in places that it is a legal requirement. I am simply saying why I find it uncomfortable to do so. I technically could say I’m exempt because of my diagnosed anxiety, but I don’t because I understand the social responsibility of me wearing one and want to teach my children that. I am just having to avoid anywhere that requires one for more than 10 minutes as I then start to struggle.

Try exploring different types of masks. Disposable paper masks are often easier to cope with.

5lilducks · 14/08/2020 19:02

Re. interacting with other children do you think that perhaps nursery one or two days a week might help? Also my DD is doing dancing for babies and toddlers and thankfully they are due to restart in September. As things stand atm masks don't need to be worn by parents or child during the dance class. Perhaps there are similar groups/classes in your area?

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 14/08/2020 19:10

Soft play are a breeding ground for germs at the best of times!

Angelina82 · 14/08/2020 19:18

It’s still summer. Get outside and make the most of the weather while you can and worry about the winter when it’s winter.

hammeringinmyhead · 14/08/2020 19:28

I understand OP. I do have mum friends but none of them want to let anyone in their house, or come to mine, which is fair enough. We've done garden meetups. However, this means we'll need somewhere inside to meet up when it's lashing down and soft play would have been great in a normal winter.

2 mums with a 2 year old each were rarely welcome in a normal café even before Covid. They're a bit past bribing to stay in a high chair.

uglyface · 14/08/2020 19:43

Selfishly I’m delighted that soft plays are reopening. I’ll wear a full body covering if it means I our toddler has somewhere to let off some steam when it’s lashing it down with rain all winter.

KitKatastrophe · 14/08/2020 19:57

Apologies if you've said elsewhere on here but does she have a SN? If not, have you tried to help her understand why masks are necessary? She is one year old

OP it's pretty crap. However if stay and play places are opening but making you wear a mask I think it would be a good idea to still go. Mask wont prevent you from chatting to other mums and the kids wont be wearing masks (or social distancing, presumably) so your DD will still start to have some interaction with other babies - all of this will be good for her development, even if you find it harder to interact with her during that time.

KitKatastrophe · 14/08/2020 20:02

My 3 year old was so looking forward to being able to go to soft play again and my 1 year old is going to miss out on all the groups I did with her brother when he was younger.
Your 3yo can go to soft play and you can go to groups with the 1yo. You would just need to wear a mask. Yeah, it's not ideal, but it's not that bad either. Maybe try out some different types?

rosiejaune · 14/08/2020 20:13

@Snailsetssail

I am absolutely not comparing my frustrations to that of my child losing a parent!!

Why can’t people be annoyed at something even though there are bigger things in the world. We are all entitled to our feelings and to be able to communicate them.

My DD doesn’t have SN but is only 1 years old. I’ve been putting the mask on to try and familiarise her with them but she gets very upset and just tries to pull it off my face constantly.

My 3 year old has accepted that at times (such as popping into shops) I have to wear on and is fine with it.

I find them very uncomfortable and they trigger my panic attacks. I can cope for a quick 5 minute pop into a shop or post office, but couldn’t sit in one for an hour.

If wearing one for the time you would be at soft play causes you severe distress, then you are exempt, and won't need to wear one in that situation.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 14/08/2020 20:39

Get some really good all weather clothes a. Wellies, water proof trousers and raincoats, for everyone including you. You can spend time outdoors even in winter!