In laws want to break local lockdown to see us

[twinmummyyeah]

Hi I have had the most awful massive argument with my husband over his family plans.
His family want to break their local
Covid lockdown (they are in Blackburn, lancs). They are legally not allowed to see anyone outside their family in a house or garden outside theor bubble even out of the lockdown area but they have planned with my husband to travel 4 hours to us in the south east and stay in a hotel local to us where they want my children to stay too and spend 3 days here going to restaurants etc for my husbands 50th. (They plan to come down 4 days after his birthday anyway)
I said to my husband no what they are doing is illegal risking lots of people and risking the children and me so he will have to delay his birthday. I suggested he book something for November time with all his family instead when they are out of lockdown All hell broke loose with my husband saying he is divorcing me, selling the house etc because I said no. Every time his family are involved if I don’t go along with what they want he goes absolutely mad at me. His defence was “they WANT to come down” I am absolutely furious about it all.
Your thoughts please? Xx

You are the loving person, they are not.

If you are certain they plan to do this, maybe contact Blackburn council or police.

If he is threatening divorce it's time to divorce.

Because either he is abusive and using it to control you. Or he wants a divorce.

Well if they staying in a hotel and meeting in a restaurant they aren’t doing anything illegal, or have I missed something? It’s only private houses or gardens where they can’t meet up.

He makes merry hell and threatens divorce because you don't accept his parents breaking the law?

Hmmm.

I'd be finding a lawyer and letting him move back in with his parents then.

Easier said than done but I'd definitely not be going along with this and I'd be planning a way to separate if it wasn't easily done soon.

He wants a sivorce and to sell the house - id tell him to bring it on!.

Seriously though the local lockdown is a complete farce and i know far too many people who are ignoring it so im not surprised in the slightest that his parents have no intention of following the rules.
When is this planned for,if its a few weeks away then the lockdown rules may have changed again.

They aren't doing anything illegal at all, maybe it ought to be but it isn't!
They would still have to socially distance from you and your family where ever you meet.
My DD lives in Manchester and has a holiday booked near me, we have no local restrictions. We know we can only meet on the beach, not in my house or garden or her holiday let.

Aposterhasnoname
They are legally not allowed to see anyone outside their family in a house or garden outside theor bubble even out of the lockdown area

So if they leave the area to stay in a hotel and go to a restaurant isn't that breaking the lockdown?

All hell broke loose with my husband saying he is divorcing me, selling the house etc because I said no Ok then

@minimagician

Aposterhasnoname They are legally not allowed to see anyone outside their family in a house or garden outside theor bubble even out of the lockdown area

So if they leave the area to stay in a hotel and go to a restaurant isn't that breaking the lockdown?

Nope. They can stay in a hotel, and can meet up to six people outside provided it’s not in a private garden. I’m sure they can find a restaurant or pub with a beer garden to meet in.

@AskingforaBaskin

If he is threatening divorce it's time to divorce.

Because either he is abusive and using it to control you. Or he wants a divorce.

This is the most important part of the whole discussion, OP. No fucking way would I let my husband speak to me like that. But then my husband was never a controlling prick.

Here you go, taken from the governments web site

www.gov.uk/guidance/guidance-on-holidays-in-areas-with-local-coronavirus-covid-19-restrictions

I thought the rules stated you are still allowed to go on holiday/staycation even if you're in local lockdown. You have to adhere to the rules etc but can meet up to 6 people on the 'holiday'. I could have read it wrong. Will look now for a link

@BingeOnChocolate

I thought the rules stated you are still allowed to go on holiday/staycation even if you're in local lockdown. You have to adhere to the rules etc but can meet up to 6 people on the 'holiday'. I could have read it wrong. Will look now for a link

Yup, provided any socialising is done out doors with fewer than six people then they are doing nothing wrong.

Bizarre though it might seem, the tighter restrictions apply in specific areas and even those are mostly about not meeting in homes or gardens. You should only socialise with people in your bubble.
But once out of those areas I don't think what they are suggesting is illegal per se. It might not be advisable, but if they've been careful it's probably fine. Even with the restrictions they can travel, they can stay in a hotel and they can meet you in restaurants. It's not a lockdown.
I think your husband's reaction is OTT though...

One of my friends lives in Leicester and when they were in local lockdown, she was still driving/taking trains to London, Manchester and the midlands! I think she stayed in hotels for the most part but may have also spent the night at a mates. Guessing she broke the rules then

So I found this which says you can meet outside and about the holiday aspect with travelling outside of the area. It also is the official gov rules:
www.gov.uk/guidance/north-west-of-england-local-restrictions-what-you-can-and-cannot-do

And this for Blackburn council directly which is a little less all over in trying to make sense of the rules:
www.blackburnbid.co.uk/new-lockdown-rules/

I think you need to ask yourself if there was no local lockdown, would you still be unhappy with PIL coming down to see you all

Oh wow, sorry you're having this argument.

They can go and stay, and your husband can meet them, but the children can't go to stay with them.

According to chocolates link for the Blackburn rules, you can meet with more than six people outdoors provided it’s not a private garden. So as long as the restaurants have outdoor seating, they aren’t doing a single thing wrong

@AskingforaBaskin

If he is threatening divorce it's time to divorce.

Because either he is abusive and using it to control you. Or he wants a divorce.

This.

@Aposterhasnoname

According to chocolates link for the Blackburn rules, you can meet with more than six people outdoors provided it’s not a private garden. So as long as the restaurants have outdoor seating, they aren’t doing a single thing wrong

You still need to practise social distancing though, so they would need to be on separate tables.

@AskingforaBaskin

If he is threatening divorce it's time to divorce.

Because either he is abusive and using it to control you. Or he wants a divorce.

Spot on.

@Beamur

Bizarre though it might seem, the tighter restrictions apply in specific areas and even those are mostly about not meeting in homes or gardens. You should only socialise with people in your bubble. But once out of those areas I don't think what they are suggesting is illegal per se. It might not be advisable, but if they've been careful it's probably fine. Even with the restrictions they can travel, they can stay in a hotel and they can meet you in restaurants. It's not a lockdown. I think your husband's reaction is OTT though...

Actually the local restrictions apply regardless of where you go to meet other people in the UK - I.e. anyone living in on of those areas has to stick to those rules no even if they travel to meet with people

I am totally confused by it all. I have read the links you sent ladies thanks so they can meet us outside but not indoors in a restaurant cafe they simply won’t go along with that, what if it’s raining? They want my children to stay in the hotel and eat breakfast with them dinner with them which I won’t let happen.
This risk of close interaction worries me. I know they will never be told they are very domineering family so I guess part of it is that I can’t reason with them as they won’t respect anything I say they just moan to my husband and he then in turn goes mad at me.
If their local lockdown wasn’t happening of course they would be welcome to come up. As several of you have pointed out yes my husband is controlling using threats of divorce etc to try and shut me down and get me to roll over. I won’t roll over but still it’s wearing having to live like this. You’ve all given me a lot of food for thought thank you xxx

They can meet up outside in public places but must still social distance. If they go to a restaurant or pub, or indoor venue then they must stay within their own household. So for example they cannot share a table. This is in all areas, local lockdown or not

A lot of people, including your bad tempered husband, seem to think they can meet up in pubs and restaurants with anyone they like, but the rules are still no sitting at tables or mixing with other households, (unless you are a single person and meeting someone in your bubble). The bubble thingy, which cannot be swapped around, does not apply to anyone you mention because none of you are single.

Are any of you particularly at high risk? If not, then ask yourself if you would feel the same way during flu season. Sure, nobody wants to be ill. But unless you are suffering from some underlying health issues you are unlikely to need to be hospitalized.

The bigger issue here is your husband threatening divorce over something like this. I suspect he’s been wanting a divorce for a while and this is his “excuse” to justify it.