AIBU for being sick of every meeting needing to be a video call?!

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Maybe I'm being precious, but I am really fed up with the constant need for every colleague contact since Covid forced home working having to be done via bloody Zoom. Even the simplest 1-2-1 call now needs to be a video call. I'm stuffed with it being shoved down my throat the whole time. It's hot, I'm not really dressed and I haven't tidied. I also have some sensory issues and don't like video calls.

I could have maybe understood if before this pandemic we were always together in an office doing everything face to face, but my team has been dispersed for years, and before Covid I would perhaps see them all once every three to six months. WFH about three days a week prior to Covid, with team members in different cities.

I don't have an issue with the weekly meeting being via Zoom, but every flipping interaction? It's driving me bonkers and defeats the purpose of being at home somewhat. Before we would just do a quick phone call to talk things through.

AIBU for thinking this constant video chatting is unnecessary and stressful?

I wouldn't like that either. Is there anything you can do to stop it?

Yanbu

Tbh I refuse to go on camera for my calls. Unless I am presenting I don't go on camera and no one has said anything yet (6 months in)

I never put my camera on.

Haven't the recent storms played havoc with your internet bandwidth for video?? So best to use audio only...

Be a shame if your camera was accidentally switched off and you didn’t know how to switch it back on.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for an employer to expect you to dress well enough to be seen on a call, and have a section behind your head that is today. How wide is your camera angle?!!! My colleagues her about 1 square metre of curtain - the house could be a shit tip for all they know! Or use a background.

So I’m veering towards YABU because it sounds like you’re making excuses. Just get dressed for work!

It doesn’t defeat the purpose of being at home, because the purpose of home working is not to allow you to avoid videos. It might do away with something you like about being at home, but it’s not defeating the purpose of it.

A video call takes the same amount of time as a voice call, so I don’t get your point there. I’d say my colleagues are 50/50 on whether they choose video for quick calls to me - makes no difference to the overall length.

I am sympathetic to a general dislike of being on screen - it’s not my favourite thing either! But I do think that often it improves interactions, which seems to be the feedback from colleagues too. So even if it was Covid that caused it, it doesn’t mean it isn’t an improvement on your previous homeworking way of interacting.

You really can’t complain that you don’t want to do video calls because it means getting dressed on paid time though!

So sorry to hear that your camera broke, at least there's still audio.

Sadly, my laptop camera is "temperamental". And my broadband "isn't up to DH and I both doing video calls, and he's already started his so I can't interrupt to ask him to switch it off".

Totally agree. I know its the way things are going and we have to live with it but I hate it.

It's also brought out (in my firm at least) a really unpleasant strand of stealth snobbery about people's backgrounds and working environments which gives me the rage.

I was called out the other day by a (senior) colleague because it looked like I was doing an (internal) call on my bed. Well I was doing the call on my bed because my DD was doing something in the living room and at that precise moment I didn't have anywhere else to do it from. Clearly if it had been a client-facing call I'd have sorted it but I think humiliating me for that was unnecessary.

Work creeps enough into our personal lives as it is with the endless after hours contact without feeling that every inch of our personal living space is going to be subjected to these sorts of tests.

@Aposterhasnoname

Be a shame if your camera was accidentally switched off and you didn’t know how to switch it back on.

Except that your colleagues will tell you how, and if you persist in saying that you can’t follow their instructions, you’ll look stupid. Which isn’t a good look in the workplace!

I think long term WFH is gonna be alot more collaborative than people are expecting or hoping for

Middle management isn't going to relinquish its existence without some sort of fight

It's relentless. I have come up with numerous 'excuses' as to why I can't have my camera on, but to be honest I simply don't want to. I find it intrusive when I'm at home, and it is simply not necessary.

As I said in my previous post, if this had been the case since I started working then I would have less of a reason to complain, but this has exploded since Covid. It seems as if some people are overcompensating for the fact that they are working from home, but it drives me up the wall. Normally my WFH days are the days I get to recharge from the overload that is the office and all of its people and rules, and now I'm finding that 'the office' is intruding into my safe space.

These are calls about projects, calls about the weather, whatever really. None of it requires anyone's face on camera, yet if you don't want to participate you get treated like you are being problematic.

I am in a senior position who has worked from home for over 10 years and I find this constant desire to be on camera utterly bizarre. No one has wanted to see my face for over 10 years but all of a sudden they want to see me. It is hugely frutrasting.

Some people are terrible at getting the balance right. I think its good to have a bit of video contact but phone calls are a lot better for conversations where you each need to think without seeing a large as life FACE right in your own face!

I'm bored of it too - but the visual cues of a video call are so much better than an audio only call. For a lot of meetings that is useful.

In my view you are being that awkward employee. And I suspect resistance to the juggernaut of remote work with video calls as the default will limit your future options.

I'll temper that though with an acknowledgement that you are of course completely entitled to be uncomfortable with video calls. But do question yourself why and whether that will help you long term.

I do like the backgrounds. I mess with people's heads because I took a photo of my office and use that - lots of people think I'm in the office.

if you don't want to participate you get treated like you are being problematic.

i think I'd just keep declining to do video chat and keep on declining to do video chat and see how it goes. Has anyone in any position of authority made a pronouncement? How about pre-empting it all by writing to your boss and saying that video chat is unproductive and telephone calls are much better apart from the weekly meeting?

I'm sure there are plenty of other people who hate it.

When we first got Skype in my office, lots of people hated it. All these messages popping up, conversations being separated from email chains, no single place for managing written comms...
Now, everyone loves it - so much better than cluttering up email etc.
We surveyed recently about, anonymously, and there were a lot of comments from people saying they found it friendlier than an email, more conversational, and felt it had built up more of a rapport with colleagues.

I see video calling the same way... it’s better for most people, but it takes some getting used to. Just because we managed without it before, doesn’t mean it can’t be better now. I remember when phones first got cameras, thinking - why would I want that?

@Loubilou09 exactly, it's bizarre!

@Rollercoaster1920 I am not against video calls full stop. As I said before, I generally have no issue with the weekly meeting being via video, though I'd rather it wasn't. But every interaction does not need to be done via Zoom.

If I was in the office and wanted to speak to a colleague on a different floor I would pick up the phone, not start a Zoom call.

It's 35 degrees in this house and I have no Aircon. I'm sweaty and wearing minimal clothes and don't want to be on camera for a catch up without much warning.

I don’t do video on calls, all mine are voice only. Everyone else on the calls does the same unless they want to show us a cute pet or something

The purpose of wfh is to reduce the spread of Covid (or if you were wfh pre Covid, it’s to avoid commuting, reduce the need for space in the office or whatever), so YABU to say having to get dressed defeats the point. But YANBU to not want loads of video calls!

I was on video call with 2 colleagues yesterday - 2 of us in UK. The other U.K. colleague had a vest top on and was “glowing” - me, I was dripping sweat. It took 30 seconds for the 3 of us to laugh, “not my most professional look - if this keeps up, call back tomorrow and I’ll be in my bikini!” - and then on with work.

It sounds like you would find that exchange intrusive, but I find it all about building rapport and daily life with work colleagues just being more fun. I work hard, I get the job done, I don’t spend the entire day chit chatting. In fact, I think I chat less than others as I’m more introverted than many. But I don’t want overly formal work relationships where no-one talks about anything but work.

You may be used to WFH (I am) but a lot of my colleagues aren’t... and they are struggling themselves from lack of interaction - and video interaction definitely feels like more of an interaction. I’m not surprised that with Covid making it a “thing”, lots of people have embraced it.

@Starbuggy People work from home for various reasons. It helps me manage my disability, amongst other reasons. I'm sure I'm not the only one who works in pyjamas or unsuitable clothing for the workplace on occasion.

What happens if you just take the call with your camer switched off? Are you being pulled up on it?

(Yanbu)

I probably only have my camera on for somewhere between a third and half my calls. There are a couple of meetings where it is expected - but it was before lockdown on those two. The rest where phones are used are more likely to be more sociable calls - so catch up with a couple of colleagues was camera on; project update was camera off. We have been asked on some calls (a big all-hands, a project meeting with India,) to turn cameras off because of bandwidth, but the screen is mostly filled with PowerPoint anyway.

Unless I have a meeting with a customer, my camera stays off. A) the bandwidth in this house for dh, me and ds all being online at once is a bit marginal (this is what I tell work and tbh is the main reason b) I just don't see the need for it and c) I'm a fidget and concentrate on the meeting better if I can move around

[quote Videokilledaudio]@Starbuggy People work from home for various reasons. It helps me manage my disability, amongst other reasons. I'm sure I'm not the only one who works in pyjamas or unsuitable clothing for the workplace on occasion.[/quote]
I think it’s reasonable for your employer to expect you not to work in PJs though!
And your clothes only need to be suitable for the workplace you’re in - your home. So in my case, today I’m wearing a summer t shirt style dress that’s really casual, and has a hole in the arm where I tore it - but I like it and don’t see the point in wasting it by chucking it. It’s not smart enough for that office, but it’s still suitable for a video call at home.

I’m sympathise to anyone who just doesn’t like video calls! But I think the clothing thing does sound (to use your words from your OP) - precious.