AIBU for being sick of every meeting needing to be a video call?!

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Maybe I'm being precious, but I am really fed up with the constant need for every colleague contact since Covid forced home working having to be done via bloody Zoom. Even the simplest 1-2-1 call now needs to be a video call. I'm stuffed with it being shoved down my throat the whole time. It's hot, I'm not really dressed and I haven't tidied. I also have some sensory issues and don't like video calls.

I could have maybe understood if before this pandemic we were always together in an office doing everything face to face, but my team has been dispersed for years, and before Covid I would perhaps see them all once every three to six months. WFH about three days a week prior to Covid, with team members in different cities.

I don't have an issue with the weekly meeting being via Zoom, but every flipping interaction? It's driving me bonkers and defeats the purpose of being at home somewhat. Before we would just do a quick phone call to talk things through.

AIBU for thinking this constant video chatting is unnecessary and stressful?

If I was in the office and wanted to speak to a colleague on a different floor I would pick up the phone, not start a Zoom call

Yes, it’s not about an objection to any and all video calls it’s the fact that previously the interaction wouldn’t have been face to face anyway. There’s no need to be on camera every single time you speak to a colleague.

I have my camera off and I only turn it on for actual meetings. Thankfully my own line manager isn’t a fan of seeing everyone close up for every bloody conversation.

The fact is people are working from their homes and due to the situation that does mean their partners, children, housemates may be around too. I think it’s really intrusive to insist on video calls, especially those who do it with no notice. After all, most of us wouldn’t ordinarily invite random colleagues into our kitchens and bedrooms.

Hopefully a zoom “etiquette” will develop over time.

We've only been to use video for a few weeks and there doesn't seem to be a huge amount of uptake. I only work off my monitor screen with the laptop lid shut so if they want me to video it'll be very dark!!
One of my clients is using zoom for some meetings and whilst i like for a quick meeting with a couple of people it's really hard work for 2 hours with a lot of people.
No one seems to be making any pretense to dress as we would in the office.

Gaffer tape over your laptop camera. It'll appear switched on, but for some reason it just won't work.

I couldn’t agree more, OP!

The ‘novelty’ has definitely worn off, and they are tedious, draining and waste time.

Worse still, Microsoft Teams; which is like a Zoom with worse quality.

Bring back the conference call, or just SEND A SODDING EMAIL!!

If the company culture is to have video calls then it's not good for your career being the only refusenik. It's like being the one person who refuses to take part in the tea round or sign people's birthday cards. Not a fundamental barrier to getting the work done, but makes you seem less a 'part of the team'.

I would try to work out what would make it easier, feel less intrusive, etc. Even if it means moving things round so there is a blank wall behind you. Or minimize the application window while you're on the call so you're not actually looking at everyone's video, if that's what is distracting you.

Getting dressed properly for work isn't a valid "inconvenience" in my book.

Ugh, yes I sympathise. When all this first started I was horrified at the thought if being on camera - everyone would know I wasn't the persona with the enigmatic, ethereal air of mystery I tried to create from a distance, I'm just fat, frizzy-haired and middle aged after all.

But over the months I've slowly got used to it. I don't bother with make up but I make sure my hair is presentable, that I have a half decent top or t-shirt on and not a vest top, and I've set up a flattering LED lamp which I can just touch to illuminate my face better. That way I can answer all the unprompted Teams video calls on camera.

If I happen to be stuffing my face with a kit-kat, or my hair is a mess after walking the dog and hasn't calmed down yet, I'll go audio only and explain.

It's just one of things, I've got acclimatised now.

YANBU. A large proportion of my company were already remote workers not using video calls. For the main part we have all continued as is. Teams who weren't remote before all seems to be forced to use video on everything. Stupid.

It's not as if my employer is enforcing a dress code, but I just feel uncomfortable being hot and sweaty and not having showered. I have no problem 'getting dressed' for a prearranged call, but yesterday for example I was basically in a bikini with about a three minute warning about a video call. Yes, I can refuse and I do, but it's really tedious to have to do that all of the time. And it makes you look awkward. The clothing is not the real issue.

It's the impromptu contact I can't stand. If I haven't been expecting a video call I won't have made arrangements for one. It was never like this before, so it's majorly getting on my tits.

*one of those things

I often need to screen share on calls, so I love the video software. No one on any call I've been on would mind if a camera was off though (and in fact some people have theirs off pretty much all the time).

I think it's important to have your camera on - lots of communication is non verbal and I'd struggle with just voices plus for those finding wfh isolating it can feel more social being able to see colleagues. Plus there's those who deliberately turn cameras off so they can go and get snacks and drinks - if I was a boss (I'm not I'm the lowliest in the team !) id want everyone to have cameras on to ensure they're actively involved in the meeting . I actually find video meetings better in terms of pace and stopping the same voices dominating , plus you can just put comments in chat if you miss your chance to contribute.

55 percent of communication is nonverbal. So yes, I expect you to have your camera on. It would be no different to meeting in person. Occassional voice calls are fine.

I'm working in shorts and a bikini top today because it's too bloody hot! I think you should be able to wear what you want at home, unless you have a formal meeting of course.

That's crazy. Ours is only a zoom meeting every 2 weeks. Everything else is a simple phone call or email.

We’re the same and it’s fine by me, I hate phone calls. If we were in the office I’d walk round to find them.

I angle my screen up, most of my colleagues do. No need to tidy. Just chuck on a vest top with thick straps of you get little notice? I occasionally get one with no notice which I ignore, put my top on and then call back.

I think there’s a bit of etiquette to be learnt here and we all need to agree to the same rules. My opinion is:

I don’t think it’s important to have video on if the meeting is internal and going through a presentation or a document. Other than maybe the first few minutes as everyone says hello.

Internal catch ups - video should be on but these should be scheduled or a “you ok if I give you a quick call?” However, we still remember that for quick questions - “have you seen the email from Awkward Bugger? How we going to tackle that?” we can just pick up the phone and call someone.

External - should be video until there is a presentation to be shared or document to be worked through. If you’re presenting to clients, you probably want to keep your camera on and present.

I do get you , in our place only the presenter has their video on as it uses up so much bandwidth and slows the call down big time. However if your company have a policy that you have to turn it on , you may suck it up. They wont see the messy house so do not be worried about that. Yes you can dress a bit casual however you need to get dressed every day for your own benefit. I am currently in shorts and Tshirt at mo, not what I wear to work, however if I have a call I put on something clean if an going to be seen and make sure my hair is brushed, no make up, don't forget everyone is in the same boat . @THIRTYROCK39 though explain to me why cant we get up to get a cup of tea or something ? You do not need to be physically glued to a screen to be a participant in a meeting. I have been on many meetings at home and been able to answer a few mails or something on my computer while listening to what is being said and contributing to the meeting Even if I was physically in the meeting in the office we are allowed to get up and go for coffee or go to the toilet if need be.

I make a strategic decision on whether I should have my camera on or not.

So if I’m leading the meeting/playing a big part then yes I need to be visible. But if it’s not my show I can skulk In the background.

If it’s just an internal catch up, then depends on my mood/time of day/hair situation/seniority of person

I refuse to do it. I’m working in my kitchen and my husband and children both walk through (at times in various states of undress). I don’t want my house on screen, or my family. Many of my team are working from bedrooms and don’t want that on screen too.

Funnily enough those that tend to use the video feature are those with dedicated home offices and well stocked bookcases.

@CantSleepClownsWillEatMe Exactly. Even with everyone in the office you wouldn't have that much face to face interaction. At least you wouldn't in my office.

For those who say video is better for communication; it depends on the person. It is not for me. I find the numerous faces without bodies confusing, and I can't compensate by doodling to make it easier to listen to what people are saying. Video calls present a bit of a sensory overload for me and they are exhausting. In addition, they take longer to set up in situations where you really only want to have a 5-10 minute chat with someone. I prefer face to face in person for certain things and audio for others. For me personally video calls, especially conference ones, are worse than audio calls as a replacement for face to face communication.

As I said, if this had always been the norm I might have taken less issue with it, but it's come on since Covid, changes are making me uncomfortable and this video thing is getting more and more intrusive. Now even the most mundane interaction is being dragged out into some kind of facetime situation. Completely unessecary imo.

@Utini

Gaffer tape over your laptop camera. It'll appear switched on, but for some reason it just won't work.

I have the camera switched off in the settings and have paper taped over the actual camera on my work Surface Pro.

There have been embarrasments for others when they have suddenly appeared on camera and I don't want that to happen to me even though most of the time I am dressed as I normally would for work (minus the tights). 😮

Also I don't have a profile picture, because as far as I am concerned nobody that hasn't seen me in person needs to know what I look like. I don't do social media like Facebook etc, so I don't see why I should be expected to do so at work, despite the body I work for going down that route.

Luckily for me nobody is forced to use video. All Teams meetings are audio only. Only senior managers who provide updates to staff are on video.

Why do video calls take “longer to set up?”
Call comes in, click accept, click video on. Or don’t. You were working from home before all this, so you must have a regular space, so that’s all ready to go. And on the small number of days a year that we do want to wear a bikini in the house, it takes 3 seconds to pull a t shirt on when you see an incoming call.

YANBU to dislike them. Even if they were the best thing in the world and completely necessary you’re allowed to hate them!

But like the clothing argument, I think that saying they take too long to set up is just being precious - albeit because you hate them!

I have a little slides thing that covers my camera, because a colleague got fed up with my tape sometimes sliding back into place when I was on camera, so sent me the slidey thing. (I was slightly more excited about getting real post, to be honest....)

Gaffer tape, blue tak. These are your choices.

If anyone is pressurising you to use camera, keep interrupting to say you can't hear then try video off and hey presto you can hear again.

We use teams, the continuing chat is really useful to keep track. There is no difference between phone and audio, all good.

I much prefer video calls to voice only calls. You are being paid so it is reasonable for your employer to expect you to be presentable during those hours, as you would be at the office. Some softwares enable you to post a "fake" background, and I like these as I think people should not have to feel self conscious about others seeing their home.