To ask if you believe in soul mates?

RabbityMcRabbit · 2020-08-13T02:18:28+00:00

I always used to believe in soul mates-that there was someone destined for you who would suit you better than anyone else ever could. 32 years and 4 serious relationships later, I don't believe that to be the case anymore. Plus the concept of soul mates seems to be a late 20th century construct, probably enabled to some degree by Hollywood. I'd be interested to know what everyone else thinks and why, and has your thinking changed over the years with experience? Voting enabled:- YABU=yes I believe in soul mates, 1 special person just for you YANBU=no I do not believe in soul mates

HopelessSemantics · 13/08/2020 03:20

Of course not. In a world of 7 billion people, your soul mate just happens to be Derek who lives next door to your aunty?

Seems unlikely.

Yeahnahmum · 13/08/2020 05:09

I married my soulmate.

However. ... my dad used to say that there is more then just 1 soulmate for everyone. And i believe this is true.

There is not just 1. But i am very grateful to have found my 1 😊

Just because your relationships didnt work out doesnt mean that your soulmate isnt out there somewhere. You just have to be lucky. And stay positive. And never become bitter.

GirlCalledJames · 13/08/2020 05:37

One person in 7 billion being the right one is clearly on the level of believing in Father Christmas.
A soulmate in the sense of your perfect match I do believe in as I married mine.
However, I would guess it’s 1 in 1000 or 10,000 with that kind of compatibility, otherwise you’d have no hope of ever meeting them.

LaureBerthaud · 13/08/2020 05:51

It's a cringey word isn't it? Bit like when someone describes their DH/DP as "my best friend and my lover"

SurreyHillsGirl · 13/08/2020 05:54

I married my soulmate. I know he is as meeting him took 43 years and the kissing of many, many frogs. I knew right away that he was the one for me. He is the lid to my pot, the cream in my coffee, the gin to my tonic, the Fred to my Ginger

SenorFrog · 13/08/2020 06:04

No. I believe there's loads of people out there that we'd be compatible with. We just pick one and then grow together.
We'd have died out as a species long before now if there was only one out there for us.

Snorlax86 · 13/08/2020 06:06

I believe I married my soul mate (and yes I describe him as my best friend!), I knew from the first day I met him that we were meant to be together, it was an instant connection (not necessarily attraction at first). 7 years on and I still feel the same.

I do however think you can have more than one soul mate and not all have to be in a romantic sense, a friend could also be a soul mate in my view.

mynameiscalypso · 13/08/2020 06:18

Not at all. I love my DH, we have a very happy marriage and I couldn't really imagine being with anyone else. But I also don't doubt that there are many other men in the world that I would be equally as happy with.

someoneseatenmyapple · 13/08/2020 06:23

@mynameiscalypso

Not at all. I love my DH, we have a very happy marriage and I couldn't really imagine being with anyone else. But I also don't doubt that there are many other men in the world that I would be equally as happy with.

I would say exactly this too!

Oysterbabe · 13/08/2020 06:25

Of course there is no such thing. There are lots of people on the planet that you would be compatible with. Tim Minchin covered it well in his song If I Didn't Have You.

LaureBerthaud · 13/08/2020 12:10

That Tim Minchin song is hilarious- and very true! Thanks @Oysterbabe

Butterbeeeen · 13/08/2020 12:26

I believe my DH is my soul mate. I knew from the second we met that we were meant to be together and I was actually already married to someone else . 13 years later we are married and have 2 DC and couldn't even begin to imagine anyone better out there for me.

Original poster

RabbityMcRabbit · 13/08/2020 13:06

Thank everyone, it's been really good to read different opinions and some posters have mentioned stuff I hadn't even thought of

OP posts:

HowFastIsTooFast · 13/08/2020 13:11

I've never met anyone more perfect for me than DP, but I don't believe in 'one soul mate' as it's ridiculous.

DP has sometimes mused that we've lived in the same small place for 16 years but never crossed paths before and he wishes we'd met earlier, but I'm firmly of the belief that if I hadn't been through the experiences/relationships/failed marriage that I had I wouldn't have been in the right place for him, and if he hadn't had the travel adventures/relationships/experience he'd had then he wouldn't have been in the right place for me. In our 20s I'd have been too needy, self-absorbed and unsure of myself for him, and he'd have been too relaxed, immature and flighty for me.

So I think it's not just down to the person, but also the time that you meet them.

Bananabread8 · 13/08/2020 13:13

Yes I do. I don’t believe everyone finds a soul mate though.

Thecobwebsarewinning · 13/08/2020 13:15

I don’t believe in them. I’ve been married for over 30 years and love my DH but I am sure that if I hadn’t met and married him I would have met someone else I was equally well suited to.

The only one of my contemporaries that thinks her DH is her soulmate is in what I consider to be an unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship where she puts his needs ahead of hers and their D.C. at all times.

AryaStarkWolf · 13/08/2020 13:20

@HowFastIsTooFast

I've never met anyone more perfect for me than DP, but I don't believe in 'one soul mate' as it's ridiculous.

DP has sometimes mused that we've lived in the same small place for 16 years but never crossed paths before and he wishes we'd met earlier, but I'm firmly of the belief that if I hadn't been through the experiences/relationships/failed marriage that I had I wouldn't have been in the right place for him, and if he hadn't had the travel adventures/relationships/experience he'd had then he wouldn't have been in the right place for me. In our 20s I'd have been too needy, self-absorbed and unsure of myself for him, and he'd have been too relaxed, immature and flighty for me.

So I think it's not just down to the person, but also the time that you meet them.

This this this!! You think exactly the same way as me and oddly myself and my DH grew up 5 minutes away from eachother but we never met eachother until years later and after we'd both moved away from that area too and I think exactly the same about timing etc

You have to believe in souls to believe in soul mates and I don't.

HopelessSemantics · 13/08/2020 13:20

"The only one of my contemporaries that thinks her DH is her soulmate is in what I consider to be an unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship"

Totally agree. Everyone who says this kind of stuff or gushes all over fb about their amazing partner is almost always in a fucked up situation

Nicolastuffedone · 13/08/2020 13:42

Well I married my soulmate.....he had travelled very much further than Derek who lived next door to my auntie though. He’s definitely the only man in the world for me!

Nicolastuffedone · 13/08/2020 13:44

Oh! And we’re too old to be gushing all over SM! So crass and vulgar. But I was asked here, so I answered.....

MondeoFan · 13/08/2020 13:47

I used to think there was but don't anymore. I think you can be on a deep level with someone and seem like soulmates but I can still see flaws happening where people can be different.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 13/08/2020 13:47

No it's a ridiculous notion. There will be people all over the world that you will get along with and have more in common with than others, but it's not likely to be just one other person in the world.

79andnotout · 13/08/2020 13:49

Ha ha ha no.

Floofboopsnootandbork · 13/08/2020 14:01

Yes, my dog is mine 😂
People look at me funny when I say it but everything around how she came into my life, the timing of it right when I needed her, the way she’s so in tune with how I’m feeling, and how she basically saved my life and continues to do so everyday makes me believe she is genuinely my soulmate.

But I also believe we have more than one and they aren’t always people were romantically connected to but are also friends, family members, and ofc pets.

HopelessSemantics · 13/08/2020 14:03

@Floofboopsnootandbork I know what you mean, my husband says me and the dog have the same personality. He has been attached to me from day one (the dog I mean, husband took a bit more time lol)