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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think masks are just being treated as completely optional?!

302 replies

JuniperFather · 12/08/2020 11:55

I went shopping today in Sainsburys and Asda, needed to get some items for DD that would have taken too long to arrive if online. For reference I live in the South East (M25/A3).

I wore a mask, as I have done since the rules have changed. Yes it was uncomfortable in the heat, but it was done to respect and protect others. If I have the privilege of being able to use a public space and shop, then it's hardly a privation to protect others as per the Government guidance.

Yet today, on my two visits, I reckon I saw maybe 30 or 40 people wandering around without masks. Probably more than that.

Quite a few were young men, late teens early 20s, completely oblivious. One was a lady who glared at anyone who even dared look at her. A few were local workmen. Another lady in her 50s, a few who were a bit younger.

I would go as far to say that maybe half of the shop were wearing masks, and half weren't.

My AIBU question is, do you think people are now just now viewing masks as completely optional when in such spaces, rather than an enforceable requirement as per the Government's steer?

YABU: No they're not being viewed as optional. All these people probably have hidden disabilities.

YANBU: You're right. People are just doing what they want.

I start this thread in the fear however that I will get a slew of responses from people saying

  • I suffered trauma which means I can't cover my face
  • I have breathing difficulties

etc..

This post is not for you - the Government make it clear in the 7 August face coverings briefing that you are exempt.

However my question is, was everyone I came across REALLY in this category? Is Britain a country with thousands of people with breathing difficulties and unresolved traumas, when continental Europe, Asia etc have much higher rates of mask compliance?

Or as per my question, my real suspicion is that the dozens of people I saw, just can't be arsed with a mask and won't ever be told what to do. They know those two shops won't challenge them, and the likelihood of the police being called or getting fined is low. So they just do what they want.

AIBU to think it's all just being treated as completely optional, and those of us bearing discomfort and wearing masks to protect others are just sheep?

OP posts:
PablosHoney · 12/08/2020 20:07

Why the same thing over and over again

Redhair23 · 12/08/2020 20:10

You have your own groupies on here it would seem OP.
Everyone is quite compliant where I live but I see a lot of whining about civil liberties and comparing it to a communist regime online Hmm

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 12/08/2020 20:26

@C8H10N4O2 you're quite right, I'm sorry Grin That must be how the confusion arose - completely different type of snitching.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 12/08/2020 20:33

At my local Asda I should say at least 98% of customers are now wearing masks.
Today I was in both a v large M&S and a John Lewis, and I didn’t see any customer not wearing a mask.

ginsparkles · 12/08/2020 20:36

I work in retail. Since the rule came in o have worked full time and I have seen literally 4 people come in not wearing a mask. A few have come in and seen us in our visits and masks and have put them straight on, we have had a few "do I need to wear this?" Questions and they have been happy to put them on once asked. I have been pleasantly surprised by the number of people adhering to the the rules.

DD and I went shopping yesterday and again almost everyone we saw was wearing a mask.

AnneElliott · 12/08/2020 20:55

I do agree though that lots of people in masks ignore SD. Loads of them in my local co op ignoring the one way system and leaning over me to grab stuff.

The mask must make them feel invincible or something!

itsgettingweird · 12/08/2020 21:35

[quote wanderings]@itsgettingweird I don't think the global plan you refer to is that far-fetched: whoever shouts the loudest can go viral in minutes nowadays. As for the guidance being worldwide, that's probably exactly why Boris felt he had to follow it: because it's worldwide. Boris didn't want to be left out. He wanted to deny the virus was a threat at all, then he wanted to go with the herd immunity plan, then he caved to pressure and felt he had to do what the rest of the world was doing.[/quote]
Well considering the rest of the world seemed to be doing better than us that's probably not a bad thing to have decided to follow them in the end Grin

wanderings · 12/08/2020 21:43

@itsgettingweird Are the others doing better than us? Spain had stricter roolz on the magic masks and lockdown, and their infection rates are going up again, leading to the recently announced quarantine?

PoodleMoth · 12/08/2020 21:47

So many conspiracy theorists about and other selfish twats.

TakeMe2Insanity · 12/08/2020 21:48

I thought my area was compliant (SW London) until we went on holiday to Scotland: hand sanitiser available in or outside every shop, everyone put on masks on entering including random rural public toilets. As for motorway service stations, tables blocked out for SD, staff actively cleaning after each use, customers waiting to enter, people strictly following one way. As soon as we were on the English side (DS needed loo again) no actual effort being made.

I think more of an effort needs to be made.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 12/08/2020 21:50

Also in London, albeit a different part and I’m experiencing the same. As with everything in this crisis, that can be directly linked back to this government. People aren’t taking what they say seriously because they pick and choose what is important and what isn’t as it suits them. For what it’s worth, I am wearing a mask but I don’t blame people for not.

itsgettingweird · 12/08/2020 21:50

[quote wanderings]@itsgettingweird Are the others doing better than us? Spain had stricter roolz on the magic masks and lockdown, and their infection rates are going up again, leading to the recently announced quarantine?[/quote]
Seemed to be doing better than us.

I haven't commented about now.

But Spain's rates rocketed due to students going to nightclubs - with no masks.

But so far the evidence is that us Brazil and USA have faired the worst and it was the countries who were more divided via masks and less serious about it at first.

No one will know who faired how for at least another year.

There is also the fact we were effectively at the end of the first wave that spread across Europe. I said to my friend we are like the not of the wave when it crashes to shore and sprays water everywhere.

But our cases are following Spain's, France is also following the same pattern again.

I still think we can't dispute that masks protect against respiratory air bourne issues. We know they do which is why some professions already use them.

Personally I'd rather follow suit when the science says they may help than not follow suit in case that science is wrong.

I respect there are people who think it's an over reaction. I respect people's opinion but I do think we have to accept we haven't followed a different science on this point to everyone else Grin

MinnieMousse · 12/08/2020 21:55

It's frustrating. The genuinely exempt are few and far between and of course should not have to wear a mask. If the rest of us all wore them it would help to protect everyone, including those who can't. It's those who can't be bothered that frustrate me. I've lost count of how many couples I've seen going round the supermarket without a mask. I highly doubt that both members of each couple are exempt.

I was in France a couple of weeks ago and everyone wore them because it was properly enforced as they have a much better resourced police force. I'm sure there are exemptions there too, but they are much more likely to have a system of providing proof. They're big on forms and it's much easier to get doctors to provide certificates/paperwork etc. However, an awful lot of people were also wearing them voluntarily in places where they were not required to as well (outdoors). Here, most people seem to take them off as soon as they don't have to wear them. On my local high street I saw people come out of a shop, remove their mask, walk a little way down the street then put the mask back on 30 seconds later to go into another shop. Just keep it on until you're finished!

Spikeyball · 12/08/2020 22:30

"It's frustrating. The genuinely exempt are few and far between."

People keep saying this but it doesn't make it any more true. Ds cannot keep a mask on. I could easily name a dozen other people I know personally who could not keep a mask on.

Iloveanimals1 · 13/08/2020 02:30

I’m not currently living in the U.K.; I’m in China. Here everyone wears masks on public transport - no mask, no entry. So it’s fine if you have a disability and can’t wear a mask but you can’t use public transport. It’s easy to understand and easy to implement.

LiberteEgaliteBeyonce · 13/08/2020 02:40

I also live in Asia. Here, everyone wears the a mask. I never see anyone without one, ever. I cannot help but think that many of the people who are saying "I just cannot wear one because of (insert reason here)" have simply a negative mindset about masks and won't even try. FWIW, it's scorchingly hot here (40 deg and humid), and has been for weeks.
I understand that for some people it might be difficult or impossible but possibly not for all of those who don't wear a mask.
I completely expect to be flamed but YANBU

SurreyHillsGirl · 13/08/2020 06:34

YANBU, OP. Also in the south. I have seen many people without masks in shops. I have asthma and claustrophobia, I wear a mask because my discomfort is not a valid reason to not protect those more vulnerable than me.

Odd, isn't it, that those in Vietnam, China and Italy don't seem to suffer from the same type of trauma or illness that prevents those in the UK from wearing a mask Confused

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Teal99 · 13/08/2020 07:35

If the masks had been introduced from the off, I think there would have been almost total compliance. We believed the government and the scientists about the severity of the virus, that the NHS would not be able to cope. The majority adhered to lockdown measures. We did maintain the 2 metre rule and washed our hands through two renditions of Happy Birthday. We were, in the main, all acting as one.

And then, Professor Ferguson got lonely and took a booty call during lockdown. Cummings had his famous trip to Barnard Castle. The daily fatality figures did not include care homes for a long time, and then under sustained pressure from the media, only then were they included. The government and the scientists said that face coverings were not going to do us any good, as did WHO. The original Track and Trace app was quietly shelved.

We tentatively emerged from lockdown, and straightaway the BLM protests took place, and suddenly social distancing was out the window. The police took (were ordered) to take a softly softly approach, the rest of us wondered why the hell that had been allowed. (Interestingly, despite the amount of up close and personal contact in recent months, an FOI request has revealed that no Metropolitan police officer has died as a result of covid.) Ditto the hoards who descended onto beaches, why was that allowed so soon after unprecedented measures to contain the virus.

We have since learned that the fatality figures were wrong - they have included 5k who should not have been. An outsider academic had to point this out. The rules they announce are complicated, garbled, in some cases nonsensical. The slogans keep changing, are we still Keeping Alert? The social distancing/lockdown measures were put in place to flatten the curve to protect the NHS, now the measures are still in place but to what end, this virus is going to be with us for a long time.

WHO changed its mind about masks, they have admitted they have done so because of political lobbying by governments desperate to get people back into shops and spending. You can see why, with economies taking a dive, that governments want us to spend. Hancock said the masks were to instil confidence for shoppers. But, you can see from the recent retail redundancies and the dire economic news, that isn't happening. The cheap scoffs seem to be a success though, presumably because no masks are involved as well as bargain food.

So many mixed messages from the government/scientists, the allowed flouting of the rules by protesters, sunbathers and rule makers themselves (Ferguson/Cummings). There are many reasons why people aren't wearing a mask. In the main the deaths have been an older demographic with underlying issues. So, young people, who have already given up so much, have probably decided that they have no need to wear them. Others are worried about civil liberties, the government are rushing through legislations that seem to be about control of people rather than of the virus, so they are rebelling.

Others are wearing them because they are scared of harassment (even if they are exempt), or they know it is the only way they can shop. A lot of people know it's a cosmetic sop to get the worried back into the shops. They are the ones who seem to think that wearing a mask gives them the right to abandon social distancing. I don't believe that people who repeat the mantra I am wearing it to protect you, do go through that thought process, they are wearing it to comply and protect themselves, which is why you see people wearing them outside, nowhere near anybody else. They think they are protecting themselves from something they think is all around them, because the media has been feeding us an unrelenting feed of covid stories, most of which have been scaremongering.

Most people realise this is a serious disease, but have processed that the virus only affects a small number of people badly leading to death/serious health issues. In the meantime our economy is in deep recession, mental health issues are becoming an epidemic, there has been a breakdown of law and order, but most of all there is no trust left in the government. Introducing masks at a late stage when most people were at the "Whatever" stage was never going to be a success.

For the record, I have only been in a shop twice since they were made mandatory, I did wear a mask. No browsing, just bought the necessities. DH now does the shopping. I buy what I want online, but have stopped buying non-essentials. For two reasons, to save my money to offset the bad times that are coming, and as an an economic up you to the government who have bungled the handling of this.

So it is not a question of can't be arsed with a mask, more that people have decided to do their own thing because of the mixed messages, lack of clarity from the people who should be leading this.

Vivana · 13/08/2020 08:08

I work in retail and dont wear a mask while in work as km not near a customer anyway. When I'm shopping I wear a mask.

Spikeyball · 13/08/2020 08:17

"Odd, isn't it, that those in Vietnam, China and Italy don't seem to suffer from the same type of trauma or illness that prevents those in the UK from wearing a mask"

Yes absolutely no autism, learning disabilities or dementia in those countries - or maybe it is believed it is ok for those people not to be allowed out.

MrsZola · 13/08/2020 08:19

Not where I live - just about everybody is wearing a mask. BUT using hand sanitizer, cleaning trolley/basket handles seems to have gone out of the window 🙄.

Chanjer · 13/08/2020 08:28

Are people who are begrudgingly masking up, despite exemption, to avoid criticism, validly exempt anyway?

My partner is "exempt" because she has bad asthma but she's actually capable of wearing one and does and owing to her bad asthma and key worker status, and she would benefit from other people wearing them too

She could always shut her business

whenwillthemadnessend · 13/08/2020 08:39

I was queuing for a refund in tescos and spoke to a women in front briefly (no mask) about the queue line to check I was in right place.

After She then went on to explain to her child teen. VERY loudly why she wasn't wearing a mask. It was a it ridiculous and purely for my benefit.

I really wast the interested.

wanderings · 13/08/2020 08:39

@Teal99 Excellent post: it sums up the whole thing nicely.

Also:
most of all there is no trust left in the government
most of all there is no trust left in the government
most of all there is no trust left in the government
most of all there is no trust left in the government
most of all there is no trust left in the government
most of all there is no trust left in the government
This needs to be screamed LOUD AND CLEAR. The media are not slating the government yet (muted by the spin doctors) - for many people, Boris is still God.

You also mentioned "breakdown of law and order" - I'm surprised there hasn't been much more of this, when I thought it would probably happen early on, and criminals taking advantage of masks to do their dirty work incognito. I thought we might see riots and mass rebelling when Boris cancelled Eid, with less than a day's notice. I keep waiting for riots to happen, when people realise just how chaotic the government is with all this, with all the deceit, scaremongering and deliberate confusion coming from Her Majesty's clowns.

StCharlotte · 13/08/2020 08:40

I've been wearing them but I popped to a local shop the other evening and it was only when I saw another customer wearing one that I thought SHIT! I'd completely forgotten to put it on (I promptly did). Not putting one on is a harder habit to break than I thought it would be.