Two middles names and a double barrel last name? Too long?

[Delizhop]

Hiya

We’ve decided my daughter will have two middle names. One name after my grandmother and one for my partners Grandmother who have both Passed away. We are registering her on Friday and I’ve decided I want my last name in there until we get married as we have no plans to be married yet but I hate my last name it’s so generic, my school was full of them. Plus she has a common first name as we loved it. I’m not a fan of double barrels but I’m leaning more to it

Anyway is it too much to have 2 middle names and a double barrel surname?

Once we are married I will do drop my last name and pull it from hers but I like the idea of her having both. Even if we did split I would like his name somewhere.

Too much?

We gave dd1 two middle names in my post baby overthinking as gave her my mother’s name felt bad about mil so put her name in too. Don’t think mil gave two hoots really and now dd1 has an annoyingly long cumbersome pointless name when filling in forms. She’s 14 now and eyerolls when filling in forms. I wouldn’t!

I have a double barrelled surname, as does my daughter. I think it is irrelevant how many middle names you DD has, as she would not be referred to as e.g. Mary Claire Lucy Jones-Brown just Mary Jones-Brown! I don't see an issue
Some (upper class ) have triple , or even quadruple barrelled surnames.

Our DS has mysurname-DHssurname double barrelled (we’re married but I kept my name) so we only gave him one middle name - I think five names is too many, unless you’re ludicrously posh and can pull it off - they never use it anyway. Keep both surnames but drop one of the middle names, I’d suggest.

It depends on length for eg. If the name was Lily Rose Emily Smith-Jones I would say it wasn't too long. If it was Emmeline Juliet Clemency Stroud-Norton, I would say it was too long. However, your child, your choice :)

It's a pain for things like booking flights when she's older. Some airlines insist on full name as per passport and it won't fit on the form.

Yes, I think you’d be really silly to do this especially considering it’s not permanent. Two middle names is long enough without adding in a double barrel surname (which I think is silly in and of itself).

My DD accidently ended up with a hyphenated first name and a double barrelled surname. For instance A-W P-X with a middle name too. She generally goes by A X

Yes I think that's too many names. Two middle names is even a bit much.

I've got those, life is fine. Never had any problems travelling.

It depends on the names. I once saw a name with the first and surname double barrelled which was something like Amanda-Miranda Box-Locks so all four names rhymed with each other. Why would you do that?
I think some people would also make assumptions, wrongly, about the type of family who would do that but if that doesn't matter to you then go for it.

where's the harm in having extra middle names?

it's common in the Spanish folks i know.

it's not like it's used on a day to day basis (and in fact a couple of people i know like being known by one of their middle names best - think John Bennett instead of Charles John Louis Bennett which is the legal name). Works fine.

Give her the names, as long as they don't sound odd when put together you'll be fine, (e.g. Mary Mildred Matheson Miggins-Meyer or something!)

Hmm. I wouldn't, just for practical form filling reasons. But then I would not budge on my surname being in the mix if I wasn't married. I think it would have to be either a) drop your dp's surname or b) drop a middle name.

Could you choose a different middle name so neither one of the grandmothers is missed out? Or just use one, with the plan to use the other for a subsequent child?

If you feel something should go make it a middle name. Don't drop your name from her surname for the sake of a middle name - they're barely ever even used.

I also don't love the aesthetic of a double-barrelled surname but I'm so glad we gave DS one - he's only two and already I've found it so much easier than many of my friends who have totally different surnames to their DC - I still get the wrong name a lot (I also get the double barrel, whereas my name is only half of it) but it makes it a lot easier if there is a visible link between your name and theirs.

If you feel something should go make it a middle name.

Just realised this is ambiguous! I meant 'drop the middle name' not 'make one of the surnames a middle name' - I always think that's such a crap 'compromise' when women say 'oh he/she has DP's surname but mine as a middle name', it gets completely lost to the point it seems a bit pointless bothering.

I have a very long name - takes forever to fill in forms and often there aren’t enough boxes/spaces to actually write the whole thing in. So I drop one of the middle names to fit in, but then it got flagged as a fraudulent identity or something as my records didn’t match and it was a lot of hassle to sort out.

It’s not the number of names that matters, it’s the overall number of letters!

I don’t get why you’d give her your surname to drop it in a few years time. Either make it part of her name or don’t.

Middle names aren’t an issue as mostly they are ignored.

I never put my middle name when filling out forms apart from passport? Is it necessary? Nothing has ever come of it!

@RemyHadley I see from your post that it is sometimes necessary!

also wanted to add it makes a change to see an unmarried woman being smart in a thread on MN, in that she's giving DC her name and not budging, i'm so used to reading threads about unmarried women being fucked over and their DC having a different name when the "we'll get married one day" guy fecks off in a few years (not all cases, but many)

I think it's fine! Both my children have 2 middle names. I'd definitely give my child my own surname too. Maybe when/if you marry you can all double barrel and all be the same. That's what I'd do.

Unless you plan on reffering to her as mary Pamela Angela smithson-westerly I don’t think the middle names are an issue.

My surname goes with a LOT more forenames than DH's - as in, it's almost impossible to find forenames that flow nicely with his surname alone, whilst almost everything goes with mine.

(ironically his forename goes nicely with his surname, whilst I think my parents managed to pick one of the few that didn't blend well with my surname)

And I have just always wanted two middle names, as the rest of my family all have. So Forename Middle Middle MySurname-HisSurname it is going to be!

(I'm a bit obsessive about the flow of a name, and will cultivate it carefully to flow well - whilst my first-last name don't flow as well, my whole name flows beautifully)

Does it fit on a passport or other official form? Never give anyone a name that doesnt.

My personal opinion is yes, too long.

My DN has my DB’s surname. His partner was quite happy about this - she has loads of brothers and DB has none so no chance of her surname dying out.

I'm a bit obsessive about the flow of a name, and will cultivate it carefully to flow well - whilst my first-last name don't flow as well, my whole name flows beautifully

Me too! My first name didn't flow into my maiden name at all (X into Th). I was somewhat obsessive about it when naming my dds.