Two middles names and a double barrel last name? Too long?

[Delizhop]

Hiya

We’ve decided my daughter will have two middle names. One name after my grandmother and one for my partners Grandmother who have both Passed away. We are registering her on Friday and I’ve decided I want my last name in there until we get married as we have no plans to be married yet but I hate my last name it’s so generic, my school was full of them. Plus she has a common first name as we loved it. I’m not a fan of double barrels but I’m leaning more to it

Anyway is it too much to have 2 middle names and a double barrel surname?

Once we are married I will do drop my last name and pull it from hers but I like the idea of her having both. Even if we did split I would like his name somewhere.

Too much?

It’s what I have !

It’s fine!

Although entertaining when I have to spell
It all out

I gave both of mine first name (A) middle name (B) followed by my surname (X)- their Dad’s surname (Y or Z).

Both are adults & use AY and AX as their professional names. They curse me when they have to declare full names on official forms though lol.

When I married my daughter’s Dad a few years ago, I changed my surname to that of my daughter’s - I think she was briefly annoyed as she lost her 1in8billion surname - but even I now only use my maiden name professionally & the rambling double-barrelled one on driving licences & passports etc.

My da has double barrelled surname Dadname-mumname

He only has 1 middle name.

But he's known as

Mini weird surname.

So I agree what ever is in the middle will only be used in forms.

So

Jessica Genevieve Evangeline Stephenson-Smith is going to be long forms but she'll be

Jess Stephenson-Smith most likely everyday.

Rose Anne Jane Smith-Jones is shorter on forms but she'll be Rose Smith-Jones every day and so not much difference.

I think you can overthink names (I did!) when the reality is different!

I'm (example and not RL)

Elizabeth Stephanie Johnson.

Everyone knows me as Beth. Most don't even know my full name!

I have a three syllable first name, two middle names, and a double surname (not hyphenated). It's never been a problem and it's not especially long as three of the names are quite short. It flows well too.

At least you're not contemplating:
Captain Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache

If you decide not to use five names which name will you drop? I think this is a relevant question when deciding to use all five or not.

As others have said if you are dropping anything make it a middle name and not your surname. MN is littered with posts from mother's who compromised on this and learned the hard way that it can bite you in the ass if you break up.

I would drop a middle name but she’s 12 weeks now and made both our dads (Mine and my partners) quite emotional when we told them their mothers name is in their first grandchild’s name so unfortunately I can’t pull one!

The name I would drop would be mine if we get married. If we were to split when she’s older I would ask her if she wants to keep both last names and will try not to be offended if she lets go off mine! Let’s say mine is like smith. Whereas his is a bit different

I just would prefer her to have my name incase if we split but I don’t think I like my name enough to do it!

Hm so I don’t think it really matters because middle names are pretty irrelevant really, once the naming is done.
I’ve probably said my 4 year old’s middle names about 5 times since I named him.

BUT I think there is some maximum name length of 35 characters or something for the name to appear on a passport / driving licence and most forms? I wouldn’t want to exceed this.

@Delizhop

I would drop a middle name but she’s 12 weeks now and made both our dads (Mine and my partners) quite emotional when we told them their mothers name is in their first grandchild’s name so unfortunately I can’t pull one!

The name I would drop would be mine if we get married. If we were to split when she’s older I would ask her if she wants to keep both last names and will try not to be offended if she lets go off mine! Let’s say mine is like smith. Whereas his is a bit different

So you’ll drop your name if you marry but want her to have it in case you split up?

What happens if you marry, drop the name and then divorce?

Either give her your name or don’t

Either give her your name or don’t

I sort of think this too - unless she's really tiny when these name changes happen it's her name that she'll be known by and I don't think it should really be treated as temporary or contingent.

I think it's fine. My DCs are [Forename] [English name] [Asian name] [Asian name] [My surname - DH surname]. They're welcome to use whichever combination they prefer when older. We did this so they could live in either culture and have their 'own' name in that culture.

Just to note that the Asian names are very short so it is like Mary Jane Jun Bao Smith-Leung

We have a double barrelled surname because mine is very unusual and I've been published using it. DS1 has one middle name. It was in honour of my FIL who had died recently. DS2 had my dad's name as a middle plus a second because we honestly couldn't decide between two names so we chose one and gave him the other as a second middle name in case we (or he) changed our mind later.

They're both adults now. DS1 has ditched both his middle name and my half of the double barrel whereas DS2 is happy with the whole lot. Things tend to work out. Do whatever suits you.

I worked on the basis of choosing names that would work whether my DC grew up to be rock stars or High Court judges. Nothing too fashionable or pretentious.

Both my children have 2 middle names, but only one surname...

5 is a lot when you're form-filling. But honestly, how often are you filling in paperwork that requires your full name?

It's your baby, do what you like!

@SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito

I'm a bit obsessive about the flow of a name, and will cultivate it carefully to flow well - whilst my first-last name don't flow as well, my whole name flows beautifully

Me too! My first name didn't flow into my maiden name at all (X into Th). I was somewhat obsessive about it when naming my dds.

My friend had a baby boy, and the flow of the name is all wrong.

Forename ends in en.
Middle1 begins St ends en. (not a great mystery, that one!)
Middle2 different.
Surname begins St.

So they were left with a choice of two two syllable "en" endings in a row, or putting the two "St" beginnings in a row - I wouldn't have done either. I'd have had to find other middle names.

www.nickkolenda.com/brand-names/

^^ this is a long read and it's about brand names, but I think it's really interesting where it describes the shapes our mouths make when sounding words, and how they impact our feelings/comfort in saying them.

(apparently we don't like to start words from the back of the mouth, especially repeatedly, as it reminds us of being sick!)

Definitely double barrel until you are married!

Middle names don't matter as they are very rarely used.

Once you are married she'll only have one surname, so its only temporary.

Thats what we've done for dd

You need to drop a name(s) somewhere. Up to you which. Your daughter is not a token of your relationship. She is her own person. This number of names is not about her. Just drop a middle name. Or a last name. It’s too much at present and is not about her at all. Why not give her your last name. You can change it later if/when you get married.

Just give her the whole lot.

Middle names are usually forgotten about for the most part after registration and occasional form filling, and it obviously means a huge deal to your dads.

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t double barrel your surnames, unless it was a ridiculous combination? Your reasoning is sound- I’m married but even so insisted on DB-ing the kids names to include mine, and my MIL did the same with hers. I love DH but there was no bloody way his name was getting priority after I went through the shit show that was pregnancy and birth!

I have 2 middle names and a double-barrelled surname and I'm fine. I rarely write them all down if I'm honest and when you tell people they often go "oooh, posh" but it hasn't affected me negatively at any point. If it's what you and your partner want then go for it.

If you drop your name from hers she'll always have to put it as 'known by any other names' why not either have a quick register office wedding or just change yours by deed poll?

DD has a double-barrelled name, her dad and I broke up whilst pregnant and we thought it was important she was connected to both sides. There haven't been a huge amount of problems apart from it makes her name very long it doesn't always fit on documents, when she swims competitively only part of her name fits on the electronic score board or in the programme, it doesn't tend to fit on labels etc. I think most people drop the last part of the name for things like this she prefers to go by the initials ie Sarah S-J (not her name) for Sarah Smith-Jones.

It sounds like a faff to me. I would drop your surname

I would keep both middle names and use my surname. If/when I got married and took my husband's name, I would change our child's surname as well.

How many syllables?

Use your surname and don't drop it on marriage. None of us know what the future holds and keeping your surname is a very useful insurance policy.