To ask if anyone has gone no contact with siblings

[thedaywewillremeber]

Do you regret it? Has it been a long time since you had contact?

One, yes.

She's very damaged by a terrible parent and once the parent died, she started taking it out on me. She spent months trying very very hard to pick a fight, and denying proveably-real letters. She got very nasty and there was something very strange - I've plenty of flaws but she was shouting stuff at me that was just not true.

In the end I stepped back and have stayed back. No chance of an apology, and I don't want to be on the end of that sort of abuse.

I think she's in treatment now, I hope it helps her, but nothing can be the same between us now. It puts middle sister in a very difficult position :(

Do I regret it? No. It was necessary. I regret that it was necessary, but it was.

About 8 years now.

He crossed a line re: my ds I said we're done and he said thank Christ for that.No contact since.

Yep. Best decision ever. Dropped the narc parents at Christmas too and it has been bliss. My other siblings will find it hard but I need to protect myself and my children...

NC with my whole family. I definitely don't regret it, I am much happier and healthier for it. Been about 14 years now

I'm currently having covert pressure applied by two family members to resume contact with another family member (sibling).

I won't do it. I went through hell when I was shunted as a kid to hers for holidays so DM and DD didn't have to bother with me - the drunkeness, the rowdy parties, the screaming, the throwing things, not having enough to eat.

Then when I was older, when she had a skinful, she'd ring me at 2-3am in the morning, in the hall of residence I was in, to drunkenly scream, and cry down the phone. It was mortifying. And it meant, that any late night calls, I had to get the phone!

I'll never forgive her for how she was the day our father died. The above might give you a clue.

I've had to try and help her daughter, from far away, because you can imagine what she's like as a mother. All her kids have lifelong issues, including addiction. Can't think why.

Anyways, due to some fairly scary health scares, she's (apparently) given up the booze, and smokes. Good on her. I'd give it a bit longer than less than 6 months before I thought it was forever (especially from what I've heard from her daughter).

I still want nothing to do with her, especially not anything that involves her being able to phone or message me.

She will never treat those family members the way she feels she can treat me.

Apparently I'm being immature, and should just let bygones be bygones.

Just for once in my life, I'm setting a boundary based on my self interest.

I have. Almost 4 years now. 2 years with absolutely zero contact.

My eldest brother has turned into a carbon copy of our father - bullying, nasty and violent. He hit his wife so she, niece and nephew moved in here for a couple of weeks. When she went back nephew didn't want to go and told his Mum she was being an idiot for believing his bullshit about having changed. So he punched his 16 year old in the face for being disrespectful to his Mum. He cast me out for allowing nephew to stay with us.

My sister told me I was "getting involved in another families business" and told my nephew he was being a brat and a wimp. Other brother witnessed an encounter between my brother and my nephew and did nothing at all to help his teen nephew.

After one further incident where they all had a go at me for my Nana's will (long story, but they blame me for a decision made when I was a child) I cut them all out. No regrets at all.

No regrets whatsoever; in fact, blocking him was the most liberating thing I've ever done!

It means that he couldn't identify my DS in an ID parade, but frankly he had no interest before I went NC anyhow so nothing has really changed. Nothing, that is, except that I'm free of his bullying and judgement . I didn't want my DS to be exposed to the awful toxic behaviour that went on and this is the best way to ensure he's safe...

I'm LC with mine. He went NC with my parents. My DParents and I just weather it. I was LC with my parents, mostly NC with my dad really, through most of my life. DB didn't have it so bad but one perceived slight and he went NC entirely for about six months, or was it 12. But it was just easier for me to go LC because we don't have much on common and he's condescending to me and I'm sick of hearing the way he talks about our DParents because when I was still living with them and DF was abusing me terribly, my DB wouldn't hear of it. DF was a good man, DF has good principles, blah blah. As soon as something really really stupid and not actually the fault of my DM and DF happens, he starts saying shit about them both and I just figure, to fuck yourself toy spoilt brat.

*you

I'm LC with one of mine, in the process of going NC though because I can't do it anymore. Her drama, her passive aggressive behaviour, some of her life choices: I just can't deal with any of it. She is Golden Child too, so it's infuriating at best and deeply hurtful at worst when around her and my parents. I've been avoiding those situations for just over a year. DH and I now think we've reached time to go NC.

So far, I don't regret choosing to cut contact, though it's very early days. My own MH is way better when I don't see or hear about her perfect life or her martyrdom (yes I know that sounds contradictory, somehow she makes it work). I noticed straight away how much lighter I felt not having to say the right thing or respond in the right time frame or tread on ridiculous eggshells. I miss my DNs though, very sad I'm not part of their lives but they won't remember me and so the hurt is mine. It would be a different story if I thought they'd be affected.

One of my brother's had a huge falling out with my parents and other siblings a couple of years ago. He was completely unreasonable and accused us all of bullying and abusing him and his family.
We really didn't ( I know I would say that, but it's true)
I haven't had any contact with him since then.
My parents try to keep in touch, (they miss their grandchildren) and he just keeps arguing with them and being unreasonable and ridiculous.
I'm completely heartbroken about it TBH. I miss him.

My younger brother is NC with our family; he's an addict with mental health struggles. I miss him everyday and suspect the next time I see him he will be dead.

Yes, for a good fifteen years. Sibling turned into (diagnosed) narcissistic parent, bullying, controlling, lying fantasist. No regrets whatsoever.

I have no contact with my older sister. She can be very nasty and
Screams at me. She has treated our very elderly parents very badly. I don’t think about her and I don’t miss her. I’m only sorry I tried so hard to put up with her.

Yes. 25years ago. No regrets.On top of openly despising me since forever, my DS accused me of 'talking about her behind her back'with my DM when in reality I was spending hours on end supporting my toxic NPD mother thru my Dad's terminal illness at only 19: while still doing teacher training & handing 6weekly 2000 word essays in on time. Then when I left teaching she happily shit stirred with the relationship with my DM ,saying "I'm just hanging around for the money" (all of which which my DM promptly spent on herself once widowed : new car,new house,new man,trips abroad, so poetic justice really . Also she (DS) wouldn't physically touch my Dad when he was dying which I found horrible. He had cancer,it wasn't catching.

NC with Dsis and LC with Dbro for almost 9 years, different reasons but boils down to our parents.

Under pressure from family to see Dsis as she is terminally ill but don't know what it will achieve.

I’ve recently gone NC with my brother. Haven’t spoken to him since April and I’ve blocked his number and all social media. Got fed up of being called a cunt/fat bitch/shitty mother whenever he was in a bad mood, had a hangover or we disagreed on something (all over family WhatsApp group). It’s a bit awkward when we visit my parents as he still lives at home, but he mostly stays in his room when I’m there. My kids speak to him and I don’t stop them, but don’t actively encourage them either.

My parents make excuses for him, but they’ve now started to accept that I’m not interested in having a relationship with him any longer, so they’ve stopped pushing the subject. I do sometimes look back on our childhood and miss our relationship, but I remind myself that he’s grown into a complete arsehole and I’m better off without him in my life.

Yes, I'm nc with all of my siblings. I come from a highly dysfunctional family. It is pointless my feeling sad about it, it happened and that's it. I know that I shall in all likelihood never speak to any of them again, and it's a funny feeling to think that I won't know when they die.

I have no contact with my immediate family. My brother sexually abused me as a child and I finally reported him after 40 years, ur haven’t had much to do with him for years. My DM and one of my DSIS took his side, refused to speak to the police and my DM said that I had ‘ruined her life’ by reporting him. My other DSIS blatantly lied to the police and said that he had never admitted to her what he had done.

Been 2 years now and life is so much better without them all. It hurt a lot to start with, but I don’t have to worry anymore about family dramas and know I did the right thing.

I have other family (Cousins, Uncles etc) who won’t have anything to do with him and we spend a lot of time together and I have an amazing set of friends.

I do not regret reporting and I definitely do not regret going NC with any of them.

havent spoken for 19 years, my only regret waz not doing it sooner. Him and his wife are toxic and my other 3 siblings have also gone no contact

I don’t regret not speaking to my sibling but it has been hard losing his family, I was very close to my nieces but it’s difficult to maintain a relationship without involvement of sibling. On the whole it was worth it but it has come at a cost.

Yes with one.
She's a toxic mess and I spent too many years allowing her to be spiteful and jealous towards me.
Forgave her time after time after time. Supported her through her alcoholism, helped with her children, dropped everything at a moments notice to be there for her and had it all thrown back at me too many times.

The last straw was when she told me it was my own fault my eldest DD had gone to live with her dad and it was entirely down to my life choices and going off the rails when I split from exH.

Been NC for over 4 years now, 4 drama free, spite and jealousy free years.

Its hard on my parents but they don't push it, and they know if she is visiting, I won't. I don't even feel bad for not missing her children as they are so damaged by her behaviour over the years, and they were showing similar traits - which is not something I want my DCs around.

My other sibling also has NC with her for similar reasons.

I've got friends who have been more of a sister to me than she ever has.

My sister and I have never had a good relationship, weren't at each other's weddings last year, and had no contact with them during my pregnancy (baby born June). Have only now reached out to her as she is expected her first in November and I want my DD to be able to have a relationship with her cousin and I with my niece. We're both (so far) being able to get along for the sake of the kids but until this point, no, I've never regretted cutting contact

Best, most freeing decision of my life. Like a dark, negative cloud lifted from my life. I feel like a better person away from that, and hope they find happiness somewhere far away from me! Some toxicity cannot be fixed, but you have to take a deep breath and walk away.