First day at nursery- not happy with them

[Khtchkn]

I’d just like some advice and how you would feel. It was my sons first day at nursery today and I’m feeling quite upset about what happened. I take him to what’s considered a really good nursery in my area, so I thought I’d have the confidence for him to go there and the staff to look after him. They have an online parent zone app where they update what your baby gets up to. The very first thing they posted was what meal he had for lunch and next to it they wrote “ate nothing”. LO has a v big appetite so I called them straight away as I was worried and they said they’d try again later. They didn’t update me, but they posted other stuff they gave him eg “crackers and cucumber”. I don’t think this is enough for a baby that is there from 9am - 5.30pm.. and LO eats mushy food like spaghetti bol or Shepard’s pie, fish pie, easy chewable food. he can’t eat crunchy food like crackers and cucumber he just spits it out. it really annoyed me that they wrote “ate nothing” as surely they’d want to reassure the parents of their child’s first day at nursery and when I saw that it worried me. I’ve been told by other mums their nursery update everyday so much stuff and also pictures of them and what they get up to. But they just sent me a picture of some books on a table, and some toys laid out without LO??. So I don’t even know what he did. the whole day I was thinking irrationally “they haven’t posted anything bcos that means he’s constantly crying so they don’t want to show me”. When I picked him up and asked how his first day was they didn’t explain anything and said “some times he was sad, sometimes he was happy”. Nursery fees are ridiculously expensive and Im not sure if I’m expecting too much but would you be ok with this? It just worried me how dehydrated he was and that he ate barely nothing throughout the day and had a big dinner when he got back home as he was obviously hungry...

@Helpimfalling 's post is really excellent

It was eleventy billion degrees today & he was on a new environment, I wouldn't bat an eyelid at him not eating

They've probably had a lot of changes & have loads to think about/remember. Without sending photos to parents.

Either you trust them or you don't?!

As long as he ate a good meal when he got home, I wouldn't worry too much. He probably was out of his comfort zone which was why he wasn't hungry at lunch time and the nursery wouldn't let the children become dehydrated, they will have had drinks.

Your seriously over thinking this. Apps are a bad idea. Sometimes kids dont eat a whole pile at nursery, esp in the beginning of settling. Just make sure he has good breakfast and dinner. His appetite will pick up.

Bunnies are used to large families so I'm sure they'd be as excellent at childcare as a nanny!!

How dehydrated was he for it to be visible?

Also, if he didn’t eat anything what else do you expect them to say? You rang and they said they would try some else a little later, what more did you want?
Unless you specified food or eating habits then YABU.

Jeez op .. overreacting much? It was his first day in a new environment. Of course he didn't eat.
Also that app sounds rediculous. They you spend more time taking care of the kids then to take photos of them..

How old is your baby?
I have worked in nurseries and preschools and used various online diaries. Was lunch simply clicked 'ate nothing' or the other options could have been 'ate some, ate most, ate all'?
It is day 1, it takes time to settle in, especially in this heat. Have you read their current ofsted report rather than going by word of mouth?

I don't think you are overthinking it, I think you are paying good money for a good service. They are not teachers paid by the state, they are a private nursery that is funded to make sure your child eats a decent amount of appropriate food.

You are a mum first leaving your child, and it will be wobbly, but you are your childs advocate and do what you think is right.

One of my children was not looked after in the manner I saw fit, so I pulled him out, if you do not like it vote with your feet. Your childs welfare and happiness are what is important.

If he didn't eat anything then what did you want them to write? If they'd just written what was offered, that doesn't tell you anything. And you may find he's happy eating different food once he's used to being there and watching the other children.

It does take time to settle. I nannied (or bunnied if you prefer ) and I remember the little boy I had at 6 months. He spent the first week looking at me suspiciously, and not really accepting much food, except milk, from me.
Then I took him out in the buggy to try and get him to sleep and as we passed Sainsbury's a shoplifter came running out, followed by a security guard who tackled him to the ground. All the little boy saw was the man falling to the floor next to the buggy.
All the shoppers heard for the next few minutes was him laughing his head off. I pushed him all the way home with his eyes twinkling and laughing.
After that he decided I was okay. Yes, mummy was better, he went straight to mummy when she arrived home, but after that first week, he'd come back to me for a cuddle after hugging her. He was pleased to see me, and was happy to take what I offered him.

I think the first day you would expect them to be reassuring you and giving you a little more feedback. I would see how the rest of the week goes but if it doesn't feel right then maybe it's not the place for your child.

I would not want to be paying high fees to a nursery that required its staff to update an app in real time with each meal a child ate! What a waste of time that could be better spent interacting with the children. Also not great for kids to see staff faffing about with devices all day.

Our nursery does use an app but we only get posts maybe once a fortnight. Otherwise a quick chat with his keyworker at pickup tells is all we need to know.

For your own sanity, I would tell them not to bother with the app- you’ll fixate on it and they should have better things to do.

Sounds like separation anxiety. I had it too. It's pretty common

Sorry OP but I think your the issue here. You need to deal with your separation anxiety and pretty quickly before this causes an issue for you both. If you can't accept that it will be different, someone else looking after your LO, you need to look at whether working is the best solution at this moment in time.

I've had 3 kids go through the nursery system, it'll never be the same as you do it, but I've also watched mine develop and excel ways I don't think I could of done.

Blimey, calm down and give your little boy a chance to adapt to his new environment.
He will gain confidence with his surroundings and staff/ other children and will settle in nicely.
How do you feel at the first day of a new job? That’s probably similar to how he felt.

See how it goes tomorrow and ask for more info on food, e.g. what was he offered etc.

If they have set up an app for parents they would hopefully want feedback on whether it is working. If this carries on, please just explain that if thy are going to send you photos, could you r child be in them.

And I don't think you are over thinking it.

And I'd be careful hiring a bunny because some have mixamatosis and that's not good.

If you want 1- 1 care you need to employ a bunny this gave me a smile

PS I cried when I left dd at nursery and at pre school and I expect I did the same with ds too. So if you feel a little anxious, it's normal and it means you care. Give it some time.

they wrote “ate nothing” as surely they’d want to reassure the parents of their child’s first day at nursery and when I saw that it worried me.

Would you rather they lied then to reassure you??

Also, how old is your "baby"? Because if your baby really is a young baby they shouldn't have given him crackers.

Yeah you need to let go of the app thing. Our nursery has sheets that you get at the end of the day. We have an app which is updated termly with development stuff.

Your kid is adapting to a completely new environment, with a different routine and different people. His entire world has just been turned upside down and he isn't used to it yet.

I'm not convinced the nursery nurse ONLY said the words 'sometimes he was happy sometimes he was sad' blandly on pick up. If that's all they said to you I'd be questioning whether that member of staff was functioning correctly!? Surely you'd probs further? There's now way they are the only words they said.

It sounds like you are the issue here. Do not expect a nursery to be updating an app daily with everting your child has eaten and done PLUS pictures. They need to be with your child, settling them, playing with them, soothing them. Not faffing with an app to make you feel better.

Sounds like you have a bit of separation anxiety OP. I'm sure your DS will adapt as time goes on. It was his first day, he is bound to be a bit unsettled.

According to OP previous posts, her DS is around 15 months old.

I would try not to worry - my nursery said it's quite common for little ones to refuse naps/food/milk the first few days while they are still a little unsure of their surroundings. However I would have hoped they would spend a little time reassuring you! My little one still eats and naps quite differently at nursery to at home.

Ate nothing must be an auto fill on their app

Wait till it’s your second child. You’ll be lobbing them in through the window and scarpering.