Do I ask a parent before getting their child a gift?

[micc]

I am really not very experienced with this!
My DD is only just 4, she has been invited to 2 birthday parties, one I think she invited everyone in her nursery group and one was just her with her good friend from the time. Maybe I would of had more experience if Corona hadn't happened Haha.
She has been invited to a small outdoor get together.

But basically do I ask the parent before the party what to get her? I was just going to get her a nice puzzle but is that because I know my DD would love it? She is my daughter's best friend but I dont know her or her mum that well, I asked my DD and she just keeps saying things she would like!

I have done it once before for a family friend, I got her a present and she ready had it! Luckily she seemed still excited to have another but I felt so embarrassed and like is should of asked first.

I am also a bit of a control freak and some things I worry about I know other parents dont care about.

What would you prefer parents do for your children? Ask you or just get them anything?

Ask the parents if their child has a particular interest in something, thanks for the invite kind of friendly chat.

Book. people I think it is, do some really good value book packs that can be split up. I used to have some for those last minute things, and when you don't know what to get.

No, I wouldn’t expect to be asked by school friends.

If i know the parent well enough I might ask if there is anything in particular; but otherwise no i don't . An age appropriate book/puzzle/ toy is fine.

Oh and only spend what you can afford.
If all you can afford is a couple of quid, don't let others put you off from it being too cheap etc.

Art stuff also goes down well, just try and avoid paints!!

I wouldn't. I'd just go with what I think

I only ask if it is a family member or close friend.
If it is just a school friends party then I just get something I think is suitable for that age

I always have, or at least what kind of interests the child has and picked something along those lines.

Now that the kids are older(and the parties are less frequent) the ones DD is really close to, I just ask them.

Don't worry about the duplicate gifts thing - these things happen, and it will probably get stuck in a drawer to be given to another child at the next party.

I used to ask if I knew the parent. I've since stopped and just get them voucher for a toy store

I wouldn’t ask for specific recommendations as the mum might pick really expensive things. Instead, as if her child has any particular interests or favourite books.

If you don't know the child, just buy something your same age daughter would like. (not sweets or any kind of food) . If there are duplicates, her mother will recycle them to some other child's birthday party gift.

I wouldn’t ask; if I don’t know the child I just get what I think is a standard gift for a child of that age. I figure if they already have it they can regift it which wouldn’t bother me

I often buy craft bits then not such an issue with duplicates

I usually buy colouring books, sticker books, pencils.

Puzzle is fine. Sometimes I ask, sometimes I don’t (depends on if I have anything in the present cupboard or DC have any decent suggestions or not, or if I’m messaging the parents anyway I might ask). I sometimes get asked, most people most of the time don’t ask. Either way is fine.

I'd ask DD to help you choose something.
I'd not ask the parent as it would kind of make it look like you were spending quite a bit if you need advice on the matter.

I usually include a gift receipt so they can change it if necessary.

God no. A puzzle is fine.

I always find that if you ask, they always ask for something outside of your budget but then you have to get it anyway because you’ve asked 🙈.

I guess it depends how you ask. If you ask "what should I get x" then yes you might get something specific that might be out of budget, but I found most people had fairly reasonable requests.

I mostly asked "what is x into /playing with at the moment?" and I'd get a list of things ... cartoons, arts and crafts, dolls,animals etc and then I would choose something in that category.

I normally ask if the child is into something specific when I confirm that DD comes to the party.

I do stay clear of arts&craft unless I know the child really appreciates it. DD doesn't and we ended up with tons of craft sets one year, (class party size) most were either sold or re-gifted as she has absolutely no interest in these things.

If I am in total doubt I get something from an easy accessible chain or local toy shop and add the gift recipe to the card (sello-taped into the card). I also don't buy clothes as again, I don't know sizes.

I often bought supermarket pj’s and have the gift receipt. Had lots of feedback that parents liked this !

Ds (3) has been to parties before one for someone we knew and I just normally ask her mum what she’s into and try and work with that. The second one I asked ds what the party boy liked. Ds said wotsits 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️. As opposed to getting him a multipack of wotsits I just asked his mum (who I didn’t know at all) and she gave me a few ideas and party boy got a toy he loved 👍

Ds is having a party shortly and I wouldn’t be offended if someone asked what ds would like. Much prefer that compared to something he already has or something that wouldn’t get used.

For a birthday party I wouldn't necessarily expect to be asked, unless closer friends and then slightly more money being spent. I do wish people would ask first though begore giving my child edible gifts as they have adhd and we have to really limit sugar /colours things, and it is very very difficult to get them to stop at one/tell them that no they can't eat the smarties they've just received

Puzzle is fine! Don't over think it. You've many years ahead of this so make it easy on yourself!