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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I ask a parent before getting their child a gift?

32 replies

micc · 10/08/2020 18:29

I am really not very experienced with this!
My DD is only just 4, she has been invited to 2 birthday parties, one I think she invited everyone in her nursery group and one was just her with her good friend from the time. Maybe I would of had more experience if Corona hadn't happened Haha.
She has been invited to a small outdoor get together.

But basically do I ask the parent before the party what to get her? I was just going to get her a nice puzzle but is that because I know my DD would love it? She is my daughter's best friend but I dont know her or her mum that well, I asked my DD and she just keeps saying things she would like!

I have done it once before for a family friend, I got her a present and she ready had it! Luckily she seemed still excited to have another but I felt so embarrassed and like is should of asked first.

I am also a bit of a control freak and some things I worry about I know other parents dont care about.

What would you prefer parents do for your children? Ask you or just get them anything?

OP posts:
Daftodil · 10/08/2020 23:15

Depends how well I know the parent and how much I was thinking about spending. I would ask my close friends what their kid was into but not my 3yo's classmate's parents. I usually get a nice book, game or puzzle from a charity shop. You could end up going to dozens of parties over the years and it could add up quickly.

I would never specify if another parent asked me what DS would like. I'd just keep it as broad as possible so people have options (puzzles, books, etc)

Monday55 · 11/08/2020 00:02

Put a gift voucher inside a bday card. No need to stress.

Feelingconfused2020 · 11/08/2020 00:23

I wouldn't ask. I find it quite difficult to answer when I am asked by school friends. The gift is meant to be a token gesture not some amazing toy they've always wanted and I don't know what I am suppose to say when asked. A puzzle is perfect. If it's not something she'll use the parent can regift

As your dd gets older she will.be able to tell you what her friends like.

Feelingconfused2020 · 11/08/2020 00:24

Put a gift voucher inside a bday card. No need to stress

Personally I wouldn't do this for a four year old. Its nice for your dd to physically give her a.gift and see it wrapped up.

eatsleepread · 11/08/2020 00:50

Hi OP. I wouldn't ask at that age.

sruitfalad · 11/08/2020 01:18

What amount of money/vouchers would people would gift a child this young? Is it £10 minimum.

micc · 11/08/2020 05:32

Hey guys, thanks for all your advice!
My DD helped me choose a puzzle, it was on sale on Amazon for about £7 which is perfect.

Because she is her current best friend I was looking at spending around £10.

I think it's also nice because my DD is obsessed with puzzles so she wanted to get her one.

So many good ideas moving forward though, I think next year it might be more of a regular this as she starts reception in September.

Thanks again x

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