Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it normal to hate your job?

147 replies

Fuschia657 · 10/08/2020 13:32

Trying to work out whether I’m just being a moaner or whether this is not normal. On a day to day basis, if you have a job (full time really), do you like it? Like, really, do you feel happy on a day to day basis?

I’m finding more and more than I’m struggling for any motivation whatsoever - it’s boring me to death but at the same time I feel overwhelmed with demands and stress, could work evenings and weekends and still have more to do (senior level corporate job, for context). Working from home probably doesn’t help!

So AIBU - is it normal to hate your job? Am I just being pathetic?

OP posts:
Doobydoo · 10/08/2020 14:58

I mainly hate mine. Nit the people I help look after but all the crap..I am actively seeking another..hoping I have some luck haha. Not the best time to be looking

Bumpsadaisie · 10/08/2020 14:59

I enjoy a lot of my official job and my colleagues there. Wouldn't say I'm passionate about it and have to do some things that bore me - but colleagues are great and stress low while pay pretty good considering. So I'm lucky.

I totally love and am passionate about the totally separate field I am training in as a parallel career.

aristeides · 10/08/2020 15:00

I was just starting to enjoy my job - a small promotion, (been in the role for a long time). The we were hit with redundancy - I applied for a new role which would have been more senior.

Messed the interview up due to anxiety and although I did get a job, it's not the senior one I would have preferred.

So on the one hand I'm really happy I've got a job, I'm actually gutted too as it feels like a backward step (I know I have more knowledge & experience than the person who got the senior position but was told my interview let me down Sad ) now I feel pretty meh about starting.
Totally unreasonable because I'm fortunate to have a job at all.

SRS29 · 10/08/2020 15:01

I love my job! And started during in lockdown...back to an industry I love and spent 25+ years in. I did spend 18 months in the cruise industry and I really enjoyed it to start with but then ending up hating it...and that was so very very draining....so I do know how you feel OP. Was lucky to leave the industry before covid crashed and burnt it...and back doing a very senior role in an industry I love, feel very lucky.

yelyah22 · 10/08/2020 15:06

I love my job - no Sunday night feeling. I'd say 80% of it is that I work with amazing people and we're given a lot of freedom, though - no corporate nonsense, lots of trust to get the job done, lots of responsibility for big exciting national projects, so there's a sense of job satisfaction and achievement.

It's not perfect; there are days where I don't enjoy the particular thing I'm working on as much, and sometimes there are weeks in the depths of winter where I have to travel and I'd kind of rather stay at home, but I never hate it or anything close.

I know I'm very, very lucky - I don't know many people who feel like me about what they do.

Having said that, I think 'whether or not you'd stay if you won the lottery' is a bad measure of how much you like a job. I could be a full-time kitten snuggler and cheeseburger tester and if I had the money, I'd still rather not be beholden to anyone to do anything on someone else's schedule! I love my job but if I could afford never to work again and just go on holidays, of course I would - because nobody else would get to dictate my life.

Meruem · 10/08/2020 15:06

I used to really enjoy my job until government cuts took away all the interesting parts and replaced them with boring paperwork and constant targets. So now I do a wfh paperwork job. It’s not interesting or exciting but I make ok money and there’s no stress. I’m 50 now so realistically too old to retrain and the current climate isn’t conducive to a career move anyway. I’m working full time till 60, saving like mad, so that from 60-67 I can at least semi retire (as in do 2 or 3 days a week), then collect my pension at 67. Feels a bit depressing writing it down like that! But at the same time I feel sort of happy knowing the end is in sight!

Ginfordinner · 10/08/2020 15:06

@everybodysang

I love my job. I really really love it. My colleagues are fantastic, it's very interesting and challenging work. It's a dream. I've had jobs I've hated and the difference in quality of life when you enjoy your work is staggering.
I agree. I love my job, I like my workmates and have a great boss.
PRandShoes · 10/08/2020 15:07

I feel like I used to really like my job, mind this was a few years ago and slightly different job. Maybe this is just what it’s like for most people?? How depressing! I’m only 35!

No, it's not normal to hate your job.

However, what is "normal" I've learnt, is that what you thought you wanted in your 20s and what you worked towards, turns out NOT to be what you want when life changes.

I did the big corporate thing. I loved it. I was highly ambitious. Got my dream job at a huge, very successful bank where I was running a small team within a bigger team, but my small team was the biggest and most important sub team. Was promoted (corporate title, not job) at an unusually young age. Totally wanted to be head of the bigger department, ultimately to the top of my profession. That was my plan.

During those years, I worked hard and played hard. A lot of my social life revolved around work and work colleagues. It was fantastic. It didn't feel like work. And I loved getting extra responsibilities.

But then things started to change. The pressure got more intense. I got to see what the more senior roles were really about - I saw more than just the party line and had to start questioning whether I was okay with things being that way. Part of this was also growing up, reading more, meeting more people and questioning things that were just considered normal but now I wasn't so sure. I realised how homogenous the City was, and how uninterested in different opinions, lifestyles, interests it was.

I met DH and my life expanded outside of other people like me, working in the City and we wanted to start a family so I found there were other things I wanted to do outside of work and play-work.

And then I started noticing that within the bank, lots of people who were highly successful etc etc, were leaving when they got to a certain age (and not just the women). The attitude was always "they couldn't hack it/ they weren't good enough." but by now I knew these people and I realised they just wanted something different. Many went on to be very successful elsewhere but doing things completely differently.

I'm sorry, this is so ridiculously long. The point I'm making, very slowly, is that you need to look at your job and think about what you really want with your life. A simple, specific example - I've met so many lawyers and accountants over the years who started out at big law firm/acccounting firms, fully intending to make partner. But then one day they realise it's just not for them. So they go onto something else, usually still challenging and interesting, but a totally different environment - usually in house. And it revitalises their interest in their work and job.

Maybe this is what you need to think about. It's easy to get sucked into the big corporate job, the title, the perks, the "importance" - but that comes at a price that you have to decide if you're willing to pay.

BrandyandBabycham · 10/08/2020 15:16

I work part time on a checkout & am generally happy, although my company are rubbish at getting the rota out on time ( this week it came out on Sunday!) Also we don’t have any bonuses like time & a half on Sundays & Bank Holidays which I used to get when I worked at Tesco’s.

DramaAlpaca · 10/08/2020 15:16

I love my job, I'm fairly senior in an industry I don't want to specify but it's not corporate. I'm back full time now after working three days a week during lockdown and it's made me think about reducing my hours in the next couple of years for a better work/life balance. I'm in my 50s so the thought of starting to wind down is very tempting. I've had jobs I've hated in the past but this one is mostly great.

MilkshakeandChips5 · 10/08/2020 15:23

I definitely think lockdown isn't helping that frustrated feeling. I generally like my job (corporate, Director-Level) and I typically like WFH but lockdown has been tough. Long hours, non-stop video calls, incredibly difficult to disconnect at any point. I've started to resent work and have found myself having symptoms of burnout (constantly tired, irritated, no motivation to be productive) and then feeling guilty as how hard can WFH be! It's become hard to differentiate if I dislike the situation or I dislike the job!

floorplanner · 10/08/2020 15:29

I'm the exact same as you OP, and it's hard to see a way out right now. Do you have children?

SarahBellam · 10/08/2020 15:29

I love my job. Elements of it frustrate me, of course, and I suspect my manager is as thick as pigshit, but I have plenty of autonomy and I am very good at what I do (I have received awards for it). My work has a fairly flat career structure so there is little chance of promotion, but I’ve worked out that it’s not worth another £5k to me to get to do rotas and deal with complaints. I’m reasonably well paid so I’m going to sit back for a few years, work hard, and enjoy my life.

WhereamI88 · 10/08/2020 15:31

I hate my job too. Corporate lawyer, I have changed firms and I hated the old place too. It's so boring yet relentless and with enormous responsibility and zero support. I mean nothing to anyone and have I mentioned how boring the work is??? I do it for the money and what that money allows me to do. But I won't last more than another year or two.

I hate it so much it consumes me and almost every waking thought.

WhereamI88 · 10/08/2020 15:35

Lockdown hasn't helped either. It did give me a bit of respite from having to deal with the knobheads at work but I HATE working from home. So that combined with me hating my job has made for a horrible 2020. I should be grateful bla bla bla the world can fuck off as I just want to get Covid and be seriously ill so I don't have to work for a few months. I also fantasize about getting hit by a car when out doing my walks. I stand on the pavement looking at incoming cars and imagine what it would be like if I made just one step on the road. I don't want to die, I just want something to get me out of working, anything.

There, vent over. Sorry you had to read that.

Lincslady53 · 10/08/2020 15:37

In my 30s I had a good job in a large corporation, which I enjoyed, but hated the office politics and general vs that went with it. So I ledt, and spent the next 30 years running a picture framing/art shop with my partner. We earned less than if I had stayed, had fewer hols, and retired later, but never in all 30 years did I have that 'dreading going back to work feeling' after a holiday or weekend. You spend too much of your life at work, so if you hate it, change.

Fuschia657 · 10/08/2020 15:39

@PRandShoes

I feel like I used to really like my job, mind this was a few years ago and slightly different job. Maybe this is just what it’s like for most people?? How depressing! I’m only 35!

No, it's not normal to hate your job.

However, what is "normal" I've learnt, is that what you thought you wanted in your 20s and what you worked towards, turns out NOT to be what you want when life changes.

I did the big corporate thing. I loved it. I was highly ambitious. Got my dream job at a huge, very successful bank where I was running a small team within a bigger team, but my small team was the biggest and most important sub team. Was promoted (corporate title, not job) at an unusually young age. Totally wanted to be head of the bigger department, ultimately to the top of my profession. That was my plan.

During those years, I worked hard and played hard. A lot of my social life revolved around work and work colleagues. It was fantastic. It didn't feel like work. And I loved getting extra responsibilities.

But then things started to change. The pressure got more intense. I got to see what the more senior roles were really about - I saw more than just the party line and had to start questioning whether I was okay with things being that way. Part of this was also growing up, reading more, meeting more people and questioning things that were just considered normal but now I wasn't so sure. I realised how homogenous the City was, and how uninterested in different opinions, lifestyles, interests it was.

I met DH and my life expanded outside of other people like me, working in the City and we wanted to start a family so I found there were other things I wanted to do outside of work and play-work.

And then I started noticing that within the bank, lots of people who were highly successful etc etc, were leaving when they got to a certain age (and not just the women). The attitude was always "they couldn't hack it/ they weren't good enough." but by now I knew these people and I realised they just wanted something different. Many went on to be very successful elsewhere but doing things completely differently.

I'm sorry, this is so ridiculously long. The point I'm making, very slowly, is that you need to look at your job and think about what you really want with your life. A simple, specific example - I've met so many lawyers and accountants over the years who started out at big law firm/acccounting firms, fully intending to make partner. But then one day they realise it's just not for them. So they go onto something else, usually still challenging and interesting, but a totally different environment - usually in house. And it revitalises their interest in their work and job.

Maybe this is what you need to think about. It's easy to get sucked into the big corporate job, the title, the perks, the "importance" - but that comes at a price that you have to decide if you're willing to pay.

This is very interesting and really resonates with me actually....I do know a lot of my enjoyment used to be the social aspect and a bit of drama. WFH doesn’t help but maybe I’ve grown up a bit and need something a bit different. You’ve made me think there!!
OP posts:
Fuschia657 · 10/08/2020 15:41

@WhereamI88

Lockdown hasn't helped either. It did give me a bit of respite from having to deal with the knobheads at work but I HATE working from home. So that combined with me hating my job has made for a horrible 2020. I should be grateful bla bla bla the world can fuck off as I just want to get Covid and be seriously ill so I don't have to work for a few months. I also fantasize about getting hit by a car when out doing my walks. I stand on the pavement looking at incoming cars and imagine what it would be like if I made just one step on the road. I don't want to die, I just want something to get me out of working, anything.

There, vent over. Sorry you had to read that.

I’m so sorry to hear that and whilst I don’t think I’ve felt as extreme as that I’ve felt similar so I can understand how you’re feeling. I suppose weird circumstances like covid make you reevaluate things??

Outside of work how do you feel? As I find I am positive and optimistic on days off and weekends but as soon as I log on it’s like a black cloud comes over me.

OP posts:
Smokeyrobinson · 10/08/2020 15:43

YANBU and have my sympathy. I hate my job too but it's much easier to deal with now I've gone down to part-time hours. I'm powering through for the next 22 months when I can retire and I absolutely just can't wait!!

middleager · 10/08/2020 15:49

I have fatigue now from 30 years of working. I'm not sure I'd like working for anybody now. I'm not even sure I'd like to be freelance either.

The stress and workloads (made worse in the pandemic) do not help and I dream about leaving for a less pressurised role. My previous role was less demanding and more pay! Not sure my current pay is worth it

Enviois of DH sister who's 52 and retiring soon. I'll be working still at 70 to pay off the mortgage.

WhereamI88 · 10/08/2020 15:50

@Fuschia657 I am a completely different person outside of work. On weekends and holidays I have so much energy. I am super sociable and people don't seem to dislike me. The complete opposite of work where everyone thinks I'm this cold moody bitch (partly mysognistic crap because I sit there and do my work instead of smiling and wasting my time making friends - something none of the males seem to do anyway). The intrinsic misogyny is actually part of my intense hate for the job, why would I waste the best years of my life for colleagues and organisations that look down on me because of my gender?

And yes when I have to login that black cloud you describe overwhelms me too

Immigrantsong · 10/08/2020 15:53

Yes OP a lot of people hate their jobs. So it is normal, even though it shouldn't be.

I too hate my job and would love to leave but can't seem to find another one especially at this climate, so this makes it even worse.

lockdownalli · 10/08/2020 15:53

I absolutely love my job. I am well aware of how lucky I am.

I kind of turned my interest/hobby into a job so it doesn't really feel like work IYSWIM?

In the past I had a job (more specifically, an overbearing, bullyboy micromanaging arsehole boss) that I hated and it nearly destroyed me.

LolaSmiles · 10/08/2020 15:54

I've never hated my jobs, but I've disliked some workplaces and used that as an opportunity to move onto new challenges.

My philosophy is that as long as the bills are paid then being happy is important. Life is too short to waste decades of my life on something I hate.

musicposy · 10/08/2020 15:56

I love my job. I’d do it even if I were a millionaire.
Maybe you need a thread asking people who love their jobs why and what it is about them that they love. It’s obviously not as easy as “change career then”, but maybe if you could take the aspects people love and get them into your own career, you’d be happier.