Young children playing out late - no parental input

[MrsPeony]

Hi,

I am looking for some advice please.

I am worried about two young children (4 & 8) who live in our village. They are out from the morning until around 9.30/10pm every day, speaking to anyone who walks by and showing no signs of road awareness (frequently stopping in front of cars etc). It’s a small picturesque place where many people come to visit the pub/go for walks. Their parents are not with them and they appear to be just left to it. They are overly charming/ keen to impress but easily distracted and will shoot off when they see another person to talk to.

I can’t help but feel unnerved but also very conscious that I’m overreacting. Any advice would be great.

Thank you

Do you know their parents? Are they far from home? I think that 10pm is late for an 8 year old to be out unaccompanied but I live in a city and wouldn't have let mine out that late at that age.

It's the summer holidays.

They are out playing.

Do you think they are in danger?

What is the issue as to me you sound a bit nosy

If the 8 year old is in charge of the 4 year old then I think yanbu. Do you know who their parents are?

Could you ask them to give you a tour of the village including walking by their main places they go and their house? Then sort of try and assess where the adult is that should be watching the 4 year old.

I'd be pretty concerned about this, not right to be unsupervised at such a young age for such a long time.

I live in a very pretty picturesque quiet village, and I can honestly say I would not let my 8 year old out on his own, let alone at 10pm.

Very occasionally, DS walks to the park with his 11 yo DSIS, but thats it and never after 5pm (teatime).

An 8 and 4 yo out on their own til that time at night worries me a lot.

Yep they are too young.
I live in a similar place and there was an issue with a family letting small children out to play unsupervised.
I know that it was reported to school (there was one in each year group from Pre school right up to year 9 ) as the littles one (foundation and ore school) were out on their own. And I know school got social services involved. It doesn’t hurt to report it. It’s helps school and social services to paint a bigger picture of what’s going on for them.

They shouldn't be playing out in the street at any time. Do they not have back gardens? Ours and neighbours' children used to be out in the back garden playing until late in good weather, indoors if not, but none would have been allowed in the street. That's awful.

Letting children this age wander around all day, and especially until late at night unsupervised is neglect. They're at risk of harm, I'd ring SS.

Anybody that says mind your own business, give yourself a talking to. A 4yo should not be unsupervised at any time.

(and no, I don't mean a 4yo can't be left to play in a garden, for example, but I hit post too soon).

Tbh, if I saw a 4yo walking around all day, I'd have called the police. I would assume something way wrong, and that they may need help.

You've got to report it. I would ring the police and say you've found 2 young children wandering round and they seem lost.

Can you imagine if something happens to one of them either an accident or being abducted.

there’s two little boys that live near my friend that are exactly the same. they’re 5 and 7 and they’re out all day every day come rain or shine. they run in front of cars, play in a pub car park, swear at other children loudly, follow people asking for money. the other day they were playing on my front - about 15 minutes away from their own house - for about two hours and when i told them to go home they said their mum didn’t care what they did. my friend tried to raise concerns once, about the road thing especially, and was told to mind her own fucking business. some people just don’t care about their kids whereabouts and doings as long as they aren’t under their feet.

Phone the police, op.

YANBU OP. If the ages weren't slightly off, I would have assumed you were talking about my neighbours children. They are 6 and 10 and left to their own devices for most of the day, up until 11pm some nights, wandering the streets of our (admittedly tiny) village, talking to literally anybody who crosses their path, and sitting and playing in the middle of the road. I don't know why some people bother having children.

Thank you all so much for your responses. I certainly am not a nosy neighbour and genuinely feel unease and concern.
Further context re the road safety- regular tractors, lorries coming through, quiet during lockdown but lots of footfall with pub reopening. Children seek out people to talk to and tell elaborate stories. Could be seen as sweet but massively infringe on people’s privacy when out and I would be mortified if my children spoke to strangers in this way.
Thank you again for your responses.

I’m trying to imagine my kids of the same age wandering about all day and it’s an absolutely not from me. I live next door to a copper and he would be on my arse so quickly my feet wouldn’t touch the ground.

@NoKnit

It's the summer holidays.

They are out playing.

Do you think they are in danger?

What is the issue as to me you sound a bit nosy

Really?

Have just seen the news re the poor little six year boy in Manchester being hit by a car. The four year old was out before 8am this morning

I have a four year old. A super sensible one who lectures me on road safety. No way would she be out playing in the street unsupervised even with an older child. She plays in the enclosed back garden while I potter around in the kitchen which overlooks the garden etc but she's checked on regularly. 2 year old sibling is never unsupervised, it's very unfair to expect an older child who is still a child themselves to look after a smaller one.

Honestly in times gone by I'm sure this is what everyone did. There's a reason everyone doesn't do this now. It's neglectful and dangerous. I would report.

@LouiseTrees

Could you ask them to give you a tour of the village including walking by their main places they go and their house? Then sort of try and assess where the adult is that should be watching the 4 year old.

Is this actually a serious post?

In times gone by there wasn’t the traffic there is now and there was more of a community where everyone knew each other and everyone looked out for each other. You just can’t compare what happened in the past with his things are now.

What you describe sounds like indiscriminate attachment - they are seeking adult attention wherever they can find it - and this can come from attachment trauma such as neglect or abuse (or is often seen in learning disabilities, so I'm not saying categorically that this is the case here). I would be very concerned about children of this age out for that length of time with no supervision. More people need to be 'nosy' when it comes to children's welfare, then we might not have so many awful cases go undetected and unreported.

I'd call the council care services - there will be an option to report a minor at risk of harm. Or call the local police station. But definitely do something. Sadly, it likely won't lead to anything definitive happening, but as a pp said it does help the authorities to build a picture of what is going on for those kids.

Don't they even disappear at meal times? Poor things. Maybe they switch from one adult to the next in case they next one offers food?

Call the police and tell them. He's at risk and you need to help him.

You could ring child mine I think to report concern. They'll tell you if your concern is valid.