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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not send DD to reception till the next term?

42 replies

MrsA2015 · 09/08/2020 18:27

Her first settling in day at reception is the same day I’m due to give birth, I’ve no qualms regarding covid procedures at school and will be following guidelines myself / limiting visitors. I’m torn between keeping her home till after October half term of sending her in.

Pros:
-Some kind of routine for us all
-Making new friends
-A welcome break from lockdown life as we live far from family and friends and she won’t be seeing anybody for a long while!
-Giving me some time to recover in peace (to a certain degree)

Cons:

-I feel she’ll be left out of the newness of her first sibling?
-possibility of the rigorous new rules within schools taking the fun out of her first experience and putting her off (me being pathetic)
-added risk of inevitability picking up something at school , dh and I not coping with newborn plus A poorly DD (DH will be back at work at some point)
-I won’t be able to give her enough attention in her big milestone of going to “Real”school. Worried I won’t be present enough for her.

  • well all be too exhausted by the end of school day to cope with everything that’s new?

Fully prepared to be called ridiculous and pathetic but I could really cry thinking about her going to school for the first time and not being there enough for her!

What would you do? I really do feel pathetic , I’m usually a matter of fact person and all for practicality. Just worrying about everything at the moment!

OP posts:
kimlo · 09/08/2020 18:29

I would send her. Then she's starting at the same time as everybody else and learning the rules and routines at the same time.

Graffitiqueen · 09/08/2020 18:33

I would send her. The first days are important. Also is there any possibility of losing her place if you don't send her?

Lilybet1980 · 09/08/2020 18:35

It will be far worse sending her on her own as the new girl later in the term.

DC1 carried on with nursery as usual when DC2 was born. Loved telling everyone there about the new sibling!

lyralalala · 09/08/2020 18:52

If you don't send her then she'll be unsettled at home because of the new baby, then unsettled later because she'll be the new kid in the class and friendships will already be established.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 09/08/2020 18:54

Send her. 100%

Original poster
MrsA2015 · 09/08/2020 19:00

Blush knew I was being daft. Perhaps even selfish Sad I didn’t even think of her being the new girl later on I guess that would be harder!

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 09/08/2020 19:03

It’s going to be far far better for her to be at school, settling in to new routine, learning lots etc.

Instead she will be at home while you, completely naturally, are going to be focused on the immediate needs of a tiny baby.

She’s much more likely to resent you not being able to do anything with her at home- because you are dealing with the baby- than she is going to school.

Also the school day is only six hours. You will be amazed how quickly pick up will come round and you can spend the entire afternoon with her.

And you are likely to have a chance to rest

Dishwashersaurous · 09/08/2020 19:04

Being the new starter at awkward times is also really hard.

Scrumptiousbears · 09/08/2020 19:20

Send her. Your reasons not to are about you not about her. She needs to start school with the rest of her peers.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 09/08/2020 19:34

@Scrumptiousbears

Send her. Your reasons not to are about you not about her. She needs to start school with the rest of her peers.
This says it all^
mumof2exhausted · 09/08/2020 20:07

My son is due to start reception one week after I am due to give birth. Didn’t cross my mind to delay him starting! Please please don’t. I have an older boy as well and the first term of reception is so important as they start making friends / getting used to routine etc. She would be going into such a tricky situation after October as lots of kids would have formed friendships and they’ll be confident with the routine. Being at home with a baby will be so boring. Let’s remember babies do nothing to begin with! My kids are excited about baby but both way more excited about getting back to school after summer holiday

Extraction20 · 09/08/2020 20:10

Send her! She'll love it!! She just wants to play.

Monkeynuts18 · 09/08/2020 20:19

I don’t have a school age child so am more asking a question here than giving advice (sorry!) but i thought it was quite common for parents to defer their kids starting reception until later in the school year, especially if their kids were born in the summer?

If it were me I would probably defer but only if there would be a reasonable number of children starting at a later point in the year - I wouldn’t want to make her be the ‘new kid’ at a later stage!

tiredanddangerous · 09/08/2020 20:20

Would the school even hold her place til October?

Sailingblue · 09/08/2020 20:24

I think it would be very unfair to delay her start. Mine is starting in September and there is so much induction, getting to know you etc built in that she wouldn’t be getting. You’re also romanticising life with a new sibling. It can actually be pretty rubbish for the older one and isn’t necessarily some lovely bonding time. Don’t get me wrong, my eldest loves her sister but she found her dull as a newborn and a massive irritant now as a 1 yo.

Enderman · 09/08/2020 20:25

They don’t have two start dates anymore, as far as I’m aware? (I’m sure someone will tell me I’m wrong though!). You can defer a whole year though. My summer born was absolutely fine though and loves school.

I would let her start, reception is about play, she’ll make friends and everyone will be new together. She’ll probably tell everyone about the new baby and you can have some rest and bonding time with your newborn before she comes home. Having two little ones is exhausting so make the most of the quiet time. Also 6 hours goes very quickly!

sitckmansladylove · 09/08/2020 20:27

I would definitely send her but totally understand your reasons. It will give you a bit of a break too.

altiara · 09/08/2020 20:30

Send her, she’ll be able to make friends by talking about the baby!

Grobagsforever · 09/08/2020 20:34

My youngest daughter started school six weeks after I gave birth, she herself was an August baby and my husband had died 3 months previously.

She thrived, it did her the world of good during a difficult time.

Laaalaaaa · 09/08/2020 20:35

You would still have had some of your concerns even without the coronavirus outbreak. Would you have really considered not sending her if we didn’t have this hanging over us?

CodenameVillanelle · 09/08/2020 20:35

Absolutely send her. 100%.

Nurse1980 · 09/08/2020 20:41

I would definitely send her. My son was born not long after my eldest started school and everything was fine.

cantkeepawayforever · 09/08/2020 20:42

I would also say that October half term is about the point at which the real issues arising from sending all children back to school will hit at a national, rather than a local, level.

So i would take advantage of the September - October period for her to have at least some predictable schooling / settling in before the in-out school hokey-cokey with teacher illness or even local / national lockdowns begins. It would be a real shame to keep her at home and then find that school is only partially open or is closed for weeks at a time by the time you are ready to send her in.

Keepdistance · 09/08/2020 20:43

You can defer till the term after her birthday. Whst month is it?
They do all the phonics A-Z and writing them by oct half term. Then give reading books after

labyrinthloafer · 09/08/2020 20:44

Yanbu we start too young in the UK anyway and it's a good excuse!