Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To not send DD to reception till the next term?

42 replies

MrsA2015 · 09/08/2020 18:27

Her first settling in day at reception is the same day I’m due to give birth, I’ve no qualms regarding covid procedures at school and will be following guidelines myself / limiting visitors. I’m torn between keeping her home till after October half term of sending her in.

Pros:
-Some kind of routine for us all
-Making new friends
-A welcome break from lockdown life as we live far from family and friends and she won’t be seeing anybody for a long while!
-Giving me some time to recover in peace (to a certain degree)

Cons:

-I feel she’ll be left out of the newness of her first sibling?
-possibility of the rigorous new rules within schools taking the fun out of her first experience and putting her off (me being pathetic)
-added risk of inevitability picking up something at school , dh and I not coping with newborn plus A poorly DD (DH will be back at work at some point)
-I won’t be able to give her enough attention in her big milestone of going to “Real”school. Worried I won’t be present enough for her.

well all be too exhausted by the end of school day to cope with everything that’s new?

Fully prepared to be called ridiculous and pathetic but I could really cry thinking about her going to school for the first time and not being there enough for her!

What would you do? I really do feel pathetic , I’m usually a matter of fact person and all for practicality. Just worrying about everything at the moment!

OP posts:

Oblomov20 · 09/08/2020 20:47

Please send her. It will be ok.

Original poster

MrsA2015 · 09/08/2020 21:06

She’s an October baby so for us it’s a first September start, I agree with everyone. I spoke to the school they had no issue with an October start but can see how detrimental it would be. Definitely letting it all get to my head !

OP posts:

CelestialSpanking · 09/08/2020 21:08

I would send her to school. You’re not pathetic you’re just trying to do the right thing. She will get a lot more out of going to school than being kept home.

ItsJustASimpleLine · 09/08/2020 21:18

Your hormones will be playing a part in your concerns its totally understandable.

For my DD that first week she bonded with the other kids, learnt SO many school rules/procedures etc and her teacher got to know her as they allow time for this at the beginning of term. It would be such a shame for any child to miss this if it can be avoided.

Personally I was really surprised how much was achieved in that first week as it was only 4 half days! They did 2 weeks of half weeks before going full time. If you have concerns about how the new baby will effect them speak to the teacher they will understand and keep an eye on them.

Best of luck

princesspeppax · 09/08/2020 21:42

I could have wrote this post, my DD&DS are due to start just days before my due date, never occurred to me to delay them and to be honest like PP have said it would be more for your benefit instead of theirs

Greenandcabbagelooking · 09/08/2020 21:47

I’d be amazed if the school would hold he replace for that long, unless they are undersubscribed.

You could end up sending her to a school you don’t like, miles and miles away.

Flynn999 · 09/08/2020 22:02

Assuming she happy to go, send her. Everyone will be in the same boat and none of the kids know what school was like pre-Covid. So the fact they stay in the same classrooms, or that they only play at lunchtime with the kids from there class/bubble won’t phase them. They won’t know last year there was a sand and water tray but this year that’s not available. They won’t know that last year reception and class 1 played at the same time etc, or that they all must wash there hands after coming in from outside/back from the dinner hall/after p.e etc So for them school isn’t any different IYSWIM

You get the opportunity to bond with the new baby and if possible walk to and from school with both whilst chatting about her day etc. That can be valuable time with just you and her. Baby in sling/buggy etc.

Your partner will be off work so he also gets to do the whole pick up and drop of etc. You can also get a nap whilst he takes baby to do drop off etc.

If you kept her at home you would have a newborn and a very bored 4 year old to entertain. With the best will in the world she will only be bored to tears whilst you try to settle/feed baby etc. It’s not like you can go to soft play whilst she plays with other kids and you sit to the side feeding baby. Parks will be empty as everyone’s back at school. If she starts Later then she has to start school when the other kids have started to make their friendship groups. At least this way everyone starts on a level footing... also she can use her new sibling as show and tell material

NellePorter · 09/08/2020 22:13

My DC2 was less than 2 weeks old when DC1 (Sept birthday) started school, and it all worked out just fine. I would not delay starting as, like pp have said, the first few weeks of settling in are really important.

Oly4 · 09/08/2020 22:14

Definitely send her in, she will love it

Rubbleonthedouble1 · 09/08/2020 22:17

Won’t she lose her place if you decide not to send her?

howlathebees · 09/08/2020 22:18

I’d definitely send her

Emmacb82 · 09/08/2020 22:27

100% send her. I had my baby in April and although it was nice having my ds at home as he couldn’t go to preschool, I could really have done with him going to keep up his usual routine. He starts reception in September and although I’m so sad to wave him off, I’m looking forward to having some time with ds2 on our own for a few hours. And my ds1 will really enjoy school, lockdown was very hard for him and we both really struggled without preschool. To be honest, your dd probably won’t be that bothered about the new baby! It will give you some time alone to spend with baby and it would be much harder for your dd to start school a month after everyone else.

Original poster

MrsA2015 · 09/08/2020 22:57

@Flynn999 your reply has really touched me! Gosh it’s really going to happen isn’t it?! Everybody’s replies have given my head a wobble but yours has made everything seem that much more real hormonal wailing It’s nice to have realistic points of view rather than a whole load of covid related scaremongering. A lot of people RL would have me living in a cave till baby is at least 2

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 09/08/2020 23:01

Bless you op, your heart is in the right place
But I'd send her Sept of you can.

She'll have routine, she's be like the other kids so can make friendships immediately rather than coming into friendships being made, and hopefully you'll get a little peace.

Good luck

labyrinthloafer · 09/08/2020 23:11

@Rubbleonthedouble1

Won’t she lose her place if you decide not to send her?

You can defer reception places

Original poster

MrsA2015 · 10/08/2020 13:00

Thank you everyone for your responses , with all the uncertainty going on in the world at the moment it’s nice to have the reasonable MN tribe to fall back on

OP posts:

kierenthecommunity · 10/08/2020 13:13

You could actually defer her until January as they can start the term after they turn 5. But I agree that she may be bored and end up watching a lot of TV while you’re feeding etc. It may not be the idyllic bonding session you think it will be.

What are her thoughts? Is she looking forward to school? If she is, I’d carry on. I’d personally only defer if she’s anxious/not ready for any other genuine reason

Flip

1 2