Potty training and public toilets

[HarryHarry]

How does it work?!

I’m a total germaphobe (e.g. I cried for about an hour when my dress brushed against the side of a urinal in a unisex toilet last year!) so I’m terrified of bringing my toddler into public toilets. Whenever we’ve gone into one in the past he’s always been strapped into his pushchair so he can’t touch anything but he’s nearly 2.5 now. We are starting potty training next week so I need to know what to do!

Does anybody have a good technique for getting a baby to use the toilet as hygienically as possible? Someone once told me to sit down and let the baby wee/poo through your legs but that sounds like a recipe for disaster to me!

Portable potty, we got a My Carry Potty. So glad we had it. It closes completely with a seal. If we were near public toilets (all pre-covid) my DS could use it in the cubicle and I'd empty it into the loo, then close it and he used it as a stool at the sink when I washed his hands. And no problem if he had to go when no toilets near as we had it with us. Close it, it seals, no leaks, empty later. Even parked up a couple of times and he used it in the car. It's small enough with a carry handle that toddler DS could carry it and comes in different designs: bee, ladybird, cow etc. Looks a bit like a lunch box. (If you do decide to get one, shop around as it looks like it's shot up in price on some sites when I looked just now to check the name, but found they have their own website you can get it from).

@Yetiyoga

Nanny here - potty trained many toddlers (alongside their parents 😀) i just get them to wee outside. Find a tree if in a park. It isn't uncommon in my experience. I find potty's bulky so only take it out if I think they may need a poo. If we were at a cafe or somewhere with actual toilets then we would use the loos. But in parks etc... they just pee discretely on grass or somewhere!

Park's are not toilets. What is wrong with you

Haha thanks for your replies. I’m not as mental as I made myself sound! It’s true I did cry for an hour but it was sort of laughing-crying at how disgusting I felt! And the kids certainly don’t see any of my squeamishness. I regularly have to kneel or sit in dirty places if one of them has fallen over there or something. I am getting used to it. The idea of them touching things in public toilets just grosses me out, that’s all. Last week in a public toilet I saw a little girl tiptoeing and leaning over the sink which was all wet and getting water all over the front of her dress. I know it was only water but I was still thinking YUCK. And then I started thinking that my kids will be doing that soon too.

I’ve never seen anybody carrying a portable potty around but I will certainly look into that.

Yes to the portable potty's too, they have a little seal and you can close it. I will often take one out.

@Leaannb life can't stop when a child is toilet training. If they need to go they need to go. They sometimes catch you off guard. It is more common than you think! I see loads of people doing it so I know I'm not alone.

Incidentally I was just looking for advice about the most hygienic way of using public toilets, not for an unsolicited diagnosis of my mental health issues by people with no medical qualifications or knowledge of my medical history! But I should have expected it on Mumsnet!

not for an unsolicited diagnosis of my mental health issues by people with no medical qualifications or knowledge of my medical history

In all fairness what did you expect when you said that you cried for an hour when your dress brushed against a urinal. Most people would consider that an issue that needs to be addressed.

@HarryHarry apologies if your feelings were hurt, but you have to admit that what you said in your OP was extreme, and pretty worrying. I think it's quite understandable that people were concerned for your welfare, and your children's.

People really carry potties around with them?

Hold them on the loo. It's not difficult!! I've never needed to take a potty other than for camping miles from the loos

No my feelings weren’t hurt. My OP was somewhat tongue-in-cheek but I know how people like to misinterpret things in the worst way on here so it suddenly becomes a mother/child welfare issue. I should have known better.

@LovingLola What I expected is for people to just answer my question rather than trying to suggest I am somehow fucking up my kids with my weird phobia. As I said, I should have known better.

i would always get them to do "just in case" wees etc before we set off anywhere and found out which shops had nice clean toilets so we could avoid the smelly public ones wherever possible. i always kept some wet wipes in case the hand washing facilities were grim or there was no paper

Mine just used the toilet. I held their hands until they were able to balance themselves safely. Sometimes they held the toilet seat. Hands washed. Job done.

We had a travel potty, you can put a lid on it.

A portable potty like the one with the bag insert (which we used & loved, especially for road trips with toddlers) will tide you over until they’re about 3, maybe 4. After that, you’ll have to get used to public toilets unfortunately. My DD is 5 and has been potty trained for 3 years now and I still hate taking her to the bathroom because of my germaphobia. DS was easier because he could just stand to pee. Sitting on the toilet complicates things. When DD was a toddler she would put her hands on the toilet seat to balance and then try to grab my hand or sleeve to steady herself .

My steps were:

1. Put disposable paper toilet seat covers on the seat
2. Hold her under her arms while she sits on the toilet and train her not to put her hands on anything other than me, if she needs to.
3. Stand over her at the sink and scrub her hands with soap to make sure they were clean.

It’s grim but as they get older they get more sensible and don’t touch things unnecessarily. She can now go to the bathroom without too much intervention from me, washes her hands well etc.