Potty training and public toilets

[HarryHarry]

How does it work?!

I’m a total germaphobe (e.g. I cried for about an hour when my dress brushed against the side of a urinal in a unisex toilet last year!) so I’m terrified of bringing my toddler into public toilets. Whenever we’ve gone into one in the past he’s always been strapped into his pushchair so he can’t touch anything but he’s nearly 2.5 now. We are starting potty training next week so I need to know what to do!

Does anybody have a good technique for getting a baby to use the toilet as hygienically as possible? Someone once told me to sit down and let the baby wee/poo through your legs but that sounds like a recipe for disaster to me!

Someone once told me to sit down and let the baby wee/poo through your legs but that sounds like a recipe for disaster to me!

WTF??

Just sit them on the standard toilet seat and hold them. You can sit them on backwards if that works out easier and they hold on to the back of the toilet.

I really wouldn't sit them on your knee and have them wee through your legs.

Them off the toilet, pants up and wash hands. Done and out nice and quick.

Just hold the child on the toilet and wash their hands with soap after. Take some anti bac wipes with you to give the seat a clean first if it makes you feel better.

Sit them on the loo and hold their hands, if they don’t like that then take a childs seat cover and pop that on the toilet seat.

Ermmm, in the nicest way, you sit them on the toilet and wash everyone's hands properly afterwards.

What needs addressing here is your anxiety and worry, not how to go to the toilet.

And to add, I think the need to use the toilet properly with your child on the simple basis of you transferring your worries and fears onto them.

www.aldi.co.uk/potette®-portable-2-in-1-potty/p/703089356003200?gclid=CjwKCAjwmrn5BRB2EiwAZgL9om_zYFeCQ26hFdVRKRIFuUjY4K7rftX3nVT9ZczcW0ZoXY865cxzqRoCItYQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Would this be an option? The wigs would stop his hands from touching the seat.

Wings!

We haven’t done public toilets with DS (nearly 2) yet. We take a potty everywhere so use that. Tbh we only really went to ‘outdoors’ places when he was just starting potty training as it was during lockdown so it wasn’t really an issue. He’s a bit more reliable now so can go decent stretches without needing the potty. If we were somewhere he needed to go, I’d just take him into baby changing or a larger cubicle and put him on the potty. He’s too little for an adult sized toilet!

Someone once told me to sit down and let the baby wee/poo through your legs but that sounds like a recipe for disaster to me! WTAF

We have a foldable potty seat as DD is happy to use a toilet when out but gets scared of falling in. It has its own bag that it goes in and I wipe it with anti-bac wipes after use. Maybe something like that could work?

You definitely need to address your anxiety here though, if you’re scared of using the toilet when out and about, you don’t stand much chance of convincing your toddler to do so.

We had a portable potty, it was one of the ones with legs which you put a disposable bag inside for use as a potty, or the legs fold out so you can use it as a toddler seat on the toilet. Amazing! I had a little bag made for it so it was easy to carry about. Please don’t pass on your fear or using toilets to your DC ... I have a real fear of going number 2 anywhere but home. I sometimes pretend I’ve done one when we’re out so the kids don’t know .

DS wee’s standing up so doesn’t need to touch the loo for those, but I just give his hands a good wash after a poo.

Get a portable potty! I avoid public loos at all costs even before covid!

Biggest things for me have been teaching them to check the toilet is clean before they sit; making sure they leave the toilet clean for others and then really good handwashing technique after.

Actually number one was getting them over the phobia of loud hand dryers going off sporadically and not bolting from the toilets.

Portable potty for sure!

Nanny here - potty trained many toddlers (alongside their parents 😀) i just get them to wee outside. Find a tree if in a park. It isn't uncommon in my experience. I find potty's bulky so only take it out if I think they may need a poo.
If we were at a cafe or somewhere with actual toilets then we would use the loos. But in parks etc... they just pee discretely on grass or somewhere!

My DD is 2.5 and recently potty trained. We have the same as a previous poster, a little travel potty that you can either use by itself with a bag, or it folds into a toddler seat for an actual toilet. Folds up relatively small and just stays in my bag. It’s been such a useful purchase as DD is scared of sitting on the loo without a seat, and we can also use it outside. We just did a fairly long drive and just pulled in somewhere and let her pee in it by the car, much easier and less stressful than finding a gross public toilet. I just clean it with wipes afterwards.

My DS was always happy to use the regular toilet and me just hold him to stop him falling. And he could hold it for a long time. or he’d just pee on a tree if outside, so this was a new experience for me, but I’d definitely recommend it if your child is scared of big toilets

We use a portable potty. Dd has been potty trained for 6 months. Just empty out and rinse it in the toilets.

I found a potette really useful. It can be used as a potty or as a seat to put over a toilet.

in parks etc... they just pee discretely on grass or somewhere!

That's not acceptable around here now. The councils have put up signs telling people specifically not to use the parks as a public toilet. Even if it's just wee, if loads of people do it then the whole area stinks, and kids play in the grass and pick up leaves and pebbles, it's gross to leave wee on that. Poo is obviously much worse. It's a bit better now they've opened up the public toilets but really, it's more responsible to bring your own potty. They don't take up much space.

I think the more important question is are you getting any help for your anxiety? Crying for an hour because your dress touched part of a toilet speaks to a severe issue - this sort of thing leaves a big impact on children and can cause lots of issues for them growing up. Please get some help, for their sake if not yours.

And when out in public just get them to use the loos and wash their hands properly.

If you are out in the car you can just put the potty on a kylie or puppy pad in the boot. DS will wee in a plastic jug rather than a potty so that’s easy. We’ve not been out realty since lock down so I couldn’t just pour it in an old plastic bottle.
I’m a bit funny about public loos and would rather avoid them ( fairly lax about germs in general as we keep livestock so ds has had plenty of exposure)

@differentmarch those signs i assume were put up due to grown adults weeing all over the place in public when toilets were shut. A 2 year old having a wee is not going to harm. It is no worse than a dog weeing! Obviously if there are loos it is different.

Those potty things are good, but you will have to get them used to using public loos, and you will have to get used to them using loos.

Or your life and theirs will be very restricted: soft play (if it ever opens), long car journeys, airports, shopping trips etc etc etc, all need public toilet trips, never mind school and nursery

Take antibacterial wipes if it helps, wash hands well afterwards. Teach them good hygiene from the start. And maybe start with nicer toilets such as a decent shopping centre, rather than motorway service station

A portable potty as other PPs have suggested is your way forward.
As your child outgrows this then an antibacterial spray might be something to think about.
In the longer term, in order that your child doesn’t pick up on your germaphobia , ( is that a word?) , you might need to address your own germ issues.
To have cried for an hour after your dress brushed against a urinal is quite extreme.

Please try not to pass this phobia on, it is quite limiting in everyday life.
CBT may well be the way forward for you and, consequently, your child.

Good luck OP.