To be upset with DH for encouraging toddler DS to use my real name?

[SickOfThisVirus]

DS is nearly 2. He heard DH call me by my name and repeated it. That in itself is a bit annoying (I always call DH "Daddy" when DS is around) but DH now keeps encouraging DS to repeat it which is much worse. He asks him "What's Mummy's real name?" and finds it funny when he says the answer.

I don't want DS calling me by my name. I absolutely hate it and it really upsets me. I just want to be Mummy to him. I have told DH how much I hate DS calling me by my name but he was encouraging him to do it again today because we had guests over and he thinks it's cute.

AIBU to be really upset?

My kids went through a period of calling my DH by his name, they stopped when they no longer got attention for doing so. Don’t react. Your DH is a twat for deliberately upsetting you though.

YANBU. I never understand men who take active pleasure in winding their partners up. It’s such a horrible attitude. What pleasure does he get from upsetting you? I’d ask him to justify that next time he tries it.

Ask him if it is cute for him to upset you.

“You know it upsets me when ds calls me by my name, but you chose to encourage him to do it again. That is just plain nasty, dh.”

Maybe teach DS to call DH ‘Dickhead’ or a similar name. See if he still thinks it’s cute.

Get your own back by not calling him "daddy" anymore but fat ugly bloke or something of a similar ilk and get son to call him that instead of Daddy and see how he likes it

(Yes childish I know but youve got take the little wins where you can in parenthood)

I'm torn on this just because of safety. It's a good thing that your toddler knows your name and not just mummy. But I would definitely be telling him that he's I am mummy and my name is Jane. Your name is Alexa and you are my daughter. Turn it into a teaching moment

@Wolfff

Maybe teach DS to call DH ‘Dickhead’ or a similar name. See if he still thinks it’s cute.

This. Looking forward to your ds shouting it when picked up from nursery

Seriously though, your DH is being unkind and needs talking to about this.

Personally I think there's nothing more cringeworthy than adults calling each other mummy and daddy, it's just weird.
DS age 2 knows mammy and daddy's real names, he also knows that I'm his mammy.
Your DH sounds like an arse but you sound very over dramatic.

Children need to know their parents real names as young as possible, for safety reasons.

All you need to do is only answer to "mummy", and if he calls you by your real name, just tell him gently, "no, I am mummy"

Did you explain to him why it upset you? "Everyone else in the world calls you by your name. There's only one person who calls you Mummy and it's special to you. So cut it out."

Cute or not, it's a shitty thing to keep encouraging if you've been clear that it upsets you.

I’m torn on this one as well. When our kids learned DH’s name it was adorable hearing them say it (it’s long and as babies it just sounded very cute). But he hated it after a few days and wanted to go back to being daddy! So we made that clear and they stopped. While I don’t really understand the upset (mainly because I think it will be very short-lived, it’s a phase and the novelty will wear off, you’ll always be mummy to DS so please don’t worry!) I also think that your DH should’ve picked up on how you feel, irrespective of whether he agrees with it or not, so he shouldn’t have continued it and wound you up. Make it very clear that it hurts your feelings, don’t react when your name is called by DS, and answer to mummy, and hopefully that’ll be the end of it.

Children need to know their parents actual names as young as possible for safety reasons. I also think calling a partner mum/dad is a bit weird, saying “ask your dad” yeah fine, but calling them mum/dad yourself, bit odd.

You don't like your DH doing this and don't find it funny, your DH doesn't care and keeps doing it. It may seem something minor but it reflects bigger issues and I would be having a stern conversation with him.

Just re-read that you’ve already made it clear to them. In which case your DH has selective hearing, is being an arse, and needs to respect your feelings more.

He's a twat. Why does he want to upset you -that's the question. I don't understand why a husband would do that if he loves you - ask him!

Your kids should know your name, and address, and that other stuff.
Your husband repeatedly doing something he knows upsets you isn't winding you up, it's bullying. Ask him why he is ok bullying you, and why he is trying to get your child to bully you too.

I'd go with the previous comments of getting toddler to call DH something else. I'd probably opt for something more repeatable though... postman pat, Thomas the tank....

Kids do need to know details for safety but I'm not sure they do at 2yrs old. To continue when he knows it is upsetting you is horrid.

@SickOfThisVirus, it seems you are married to a bully.
He is teaching your DS that bullying women is acceptable.
It isn't.

One safety consideration is that if a child calls out "Mummy!", nearly all mothers within earshot will hear it and turn round. If a child calls out Sickofthis, only people called Sickofthis will.

Your DH sounds horrible for deliberately upsetting you.

That said, all my DCs went through phases of calling me (& DH) by my first name. One still does occasionally as he thinks my reaction to it is funny! Don't react to your DS but definitely year a strip off your DH as he's totally out of order, disrespectful and bullying to you and teaching your DC that that's ok.

Tear, not year!

Can you be called mummy sickofthis? That is what my dc call me.

I hate it when parents refer to each other as mummy and daddy....! We are individuals not just parents.

My son went through a phase of calling my OH his real name after a 2week family hol- made me realise how much I must shout OHs name!!

I don’t think your child occasionally using your name is an issue. Mine do that too sometimes and i think it’s part of them exploring your identity. And realising you are a person as well as a mum. However, your dh deliberately winding you up is an issue. It’s unkind.

[quote MikeUniformMike]@SickOfThisVirus, it seems you are married to a bully.
He is teaching your DS that bullying women is acceptable.
It isn't.[/quote]

sigh

No he's not a bully

He's just immature