To tell this 'friend' she is stuck up her own backside?

[GingerWomanHatesTheHeat]

Over the past year I've almost lost my life from complications after childbirth (sepsis), developed PTSD and PND from that, discovered my DH was having an affair when my baby was a couple of months old, then I lost my very best friend to the same thing that almost took mine.

If that wasn't stressful enough I was then undergoing investigations for potential cancer (which turned out to be benign)

There are people who have it much worse than me I know, but surely some of that warrants a little understanding as to why I wouldn't want to listen to people moan about minor inconveniences.

A "friend" who knows all of the above has spent the duration making digs and sneering about how I don't "make an effort" to check in with her anymore - when "checking in" always results in listening to her moan about minor inconveniences like how her sister has pissed her off or she's burnt the lasagne.

We live 150+ miles apart anyway and I just can't be arsed with her anymore.

AIBU to tell her she's stuck up her own arse before I block her, which I plan to do anyway.

I've sent the message. I didn't use the words "stuck up your own arse" but I've said my bit, what I've said here, and she has been removed from my social media.

Here's to one less energy vampire to worry about

I don't actually have any local friends, despite living where I do currently for almost 4 years I haven't met anybody that hasn't been through work.

I don't mind too much. I'm an introvert by nature.

I think the reason I stayed in touch with her for so long is probably because I didn't want to be a total loner.. but I'd rather have an empty inbox than one full of self absorbed drama

Do you feel better?

I don't think I would have sent her anything other than "I've had enough of this one-sided relationship, please don't contact me again, goodbye" but you've sent it now so no matter.

Now all you need is to block her every which way. Sorry you've been so let down by her, she sound totally self-absorbed.

I am about to do something similar, and it’s been a long time coming. Please tell me if you feel better or more anxious!

I feel much better yes, I'm glad I did it. No regrets

She's a self absorbed twat. Go no contact.

Good 😁 it's nice to say how you feel and maybe she will reflect on her behaviour and learn from it

If you are saying she can't complain about what's bothering her, because you have bigger things going on, then that's not friendship. She could have other things going on but is choosing not to mention them and is instead focussing on trivial things.

I had a similar thing with a friend. We both had tough situations at the same time. I lost a baby and her husband left her. I made an effort to "check in" with her and she would either not reply or she would reply asking to meet up and then not reply again when I said "yes when are you free? Or I'm free on...". It was crap of her not to text me back given I was on mat leave on my own but I'd check on her again after a couple of weeks and she'd apologise for not being in touch and say she's had a crap time. I'd always reply saying I'm here if she needs me but also very away that I was having a crap time after having lost my only DC but she never seemed to see beyond herself.

I managed to be a friend to her even though I was going through something massive but I knew she was having a shit time too. Shame she couldn't do the same for me.

I never said anything to her but after about ten months of it I stopped texting her.

I had a friend who was totally self absorbed. Even after my DD died when we met she would spend most of the time harping on about her terrible DH and her awful children. In reality her DH and her DC were utterly lovely and she treated them appallingly. She even told me my remaining DD was hard work and didn't know how I coped with her. The poor child was traumatised after losing her big sister.

I eventually stopped returning her calls and cut her off. Not long after that I found out her DH had left her and she decided he should have the children as she didn't want them. He is now married to a lovely woman and I assume she is still living a bitter and lonely life. Life is too short to have friends who suck you dry.

@Apolloanddaphne Sounds a bit like my situation. I'm sorry for your loss

@Apolloanddaphne WTF? What an appalling person. I'm glad everyone saw that and left her to herself.

Sorry you've had such a terrible time and to the other posters too.

She’s not your friend love. 💐💐

If you want to 'punish' your friend a bit (and I don't blame you), blocking and ghosting is the way to go. If you tell her off first, she'll find something in your telling off to grab at to somehow turn it around in her own head that you're actually the one at fault. If you just silently disappear, she'll always wonder why and it will drive her crazy.

@GingerWomanHatesTheHeat

I feel much better yes, I'm glad I did it. No regrets

Good for you!

@Apolloanddaphne - what a terrible person she sounds! So sorry for your loss and for knowing that woman. Glad she's gone from your life now.