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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be just letting my kids play normally with other kids in the playground

81 replies

OverTheRainbow88 · 07/08/2020 13:15

As above really... tried to enforce a bit of social distancing in playground with other kids but now decided it’s impossible so have given up trying!

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 07/08/2020 16:19

27/05/2020, was 6 months old and couldn't sleep?

I updated that post and said he’s 16 months

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/08/2020 16:20

Some people live in either ridiculously quiet areas with 5 people to a playground or haven’t visited a playground in generations/ ever. There is barely two metres across some of the tiny slides and climbing frames.
I suggest people focus their anger at twats in the pub gardens, those running to the nearest packed beach and all the adults flouncing the rules because they are keeping this virus going, not under 10s on outside slides.

user1471500037 · 07/08/2020 16:23

If you are scared of playgrounds - please stay at home

Redraptor · 07/08/2020 16:26

I went to the park yesterday morning with my 2 (5 and 2), it was early 830 and there was one other child there. We kept them apart but it soon became clear that on the big climbing frame/tree house it wasnt going to be possible. Both set of parents just ended up making sure they weren't touching each other.
We left at 10 as it was getting so busy and when we came back past 30mins later it was packed. No way distancing would have been possible. I agree with others if you want distance dont take your kids to a play park right now. God only knows how busy they have been today in the sunshine

Lockdownseperation · 07/08/2020 16:29

My DH is in the extremely vulnerable category and according to some posters on here that means my children shouldn’t be allowed to go to parks so that they can choose not to follow the guidelines. Can someone please explain how this is reasonable?

DappledThings · 07/08/2020 16:34

@Lockdownseperation I don't understand how distancing is meant to work on play equipment. This is where we were last Saturday and probably will be tomorrow. There were probably 100 children climbing all over it. How would you even begin to enforce a one way system and queueing with 2m distance?

To be just letting my kids play normally with other kids in the playground
Merename · 07/08/2020 16:35

@Lockdownseperation it’s not reasonable, because it’s an unprecedented global pandemic which is turning all our lives upside down, not because small children are incapable of playing consistently in a distanced fashion. It’s rubbish for your children and you, but it’s the virus and not other children/parents that are to blame.

OverTheRainbow88 · 07/08/2020 16:35

Oh sorry, you later corrected yourself and said you missed out the 1 and said they were 16 months. (Then someone corrected you and said they are 18 months).

It must be sleep deprivation - as I'd expect a secondary school teacher or a tutor of 9 years or whatever to be able to add up. Mind you, I'd expect a teacher or a tutor not to behave twattishly in the playground at the park grin

The person who said he’s 18 months old was referring to their own child.... so they shared their own experience then said he’s 18 months old.

I quickly realised I wrote 6 months instead of 16 and corrected it

Not sure why you are commenting on other threads I’ve written on? Bit odd!!!

My 4 year old is at pre school where they aren’t enforcing any sort of social distancing. My youngest is at nursery where they also aren’t doing anything about social distancing.

And I am not a twatish parent... thank you .

OP posts:
Brieminewine · 07/08/2020 16:38

@Lockdownseperation in your case no I wouldn’t take my children to the park, as it wouldn’t be worth the risk. No it’s not fair but life isn’t. It’s impossible to SD in busy play parks so I would take them to green space instead to burn off steam rather than risk my husbands health.

OverTheRainbow88 · 07/08/2020 16:39

@DappledThings

That looks great fun! My boys would be jealous!

OP posts:
Lockdownseperation · 07/08/2020 16:40

[quote DappledThings]@Lockdownseperation I don't understand how distancing is meant to work on play equipment. This is where we were last Saturday and probably will be tomorrow. There were probably 100 children climbing all over it. How would you even begin to enforce a one way system and queueing with 2m distance?[/quote]
This is why we go early and leave by 10.30 at the earliest. I don’t expect children to be perfect at all (I’m happy with 1m for the majority of time and occasionally closer) but think that at all but a gentle occasional reminder to not get too close is not too much to ask.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/08/2020 16:42

DappledThings it isn’t possible, unless all the adults clamber on it thus increasing the numberS even further.

Lockdownseperation this virus has ruined so
many lives and I have nothing but sympathy for those in a vulnerable category. All anyone has pointed out is that social distancing won’t happen in playgrounds because practically it can’t.

Tabletime · 07/08/2020 16:44

Well they're back in school in a few weeks so let them crack on I say

They won't be for long if that's the attitude.

Children returning to school (which ought to be a priority from the point of view of learning, but apparently is just convenient childcare for many on here...) is contingent on low levels of the virus in the community.

The reason we're at the limit is because things are opening up and transmission categorically is taking place between humans, regardless of their age or how they're personally affected by illness.

Surely the responsible thing to do is to limit unnecessary interactions, so we've got more leeway to do the things we all really need to.

OverTheRainbow88 · 07/08/2020 16:45

Now that looks bad, even to me!

To be just letting my kids play normally with other kids in the playground
OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 07/08/2020 16:53

If my child was extremely vulnerable, I would go exploring for quieter playgrounds or quieter time slots. I would also be weighing up the likely risks of transmission in my area, the nature of my child's condition and the long term developmental costs of physical and social isolation. The conclusion would depend on my child's needs and the risks in the area. There is not a one-size-fits-all answer.

As it is having children of normal health, one of which with ASD, their needs to play naturally outside the home after 4 and a half months of being denied normal social (and edicational) opportunities means that the risks of catching Covid in an outdoor environment from fleeting contact with other children are miniscule and far outweighed by the social and physical benefits of normal play.

My 9yo has ASD and can be reticent about unknown people. I am not going to encourage him to be tormented by social phobias for the rest of his life by teaching him to avoid other people incase they are disease ridden and then have to reteach normal social behaviour. Back in June, my normally sociable, energetic 7yo was getting dangerously close to depression, crying that he needed new friends because he felt abandoned after months of isolation, and spent days of grotty weather flopping lethargically on my bed watching TV vacantly. That was the point that I decided that any playground that could be entered without damage was fair game.

The reality is that children don't tend to naturally get right into each other's faces. On equipment like slides or swings, they tend to face the same direction which is lower risk. The strong UV at this time of the year also rapidly weakens and destroys the virus. That's assuming that one of the children is 1:**,000 of infected people out in society without symptoms anyway. If I was that concerned about those odds, I'd be buying a lottery ticket.

BogRollBOGOF · 07/08/2020 17:04

@Tabletime

Well they're back in school in a few weeks so let them crack on I say

They won't be for long if that's the attitude.

Children returning to school (which ought to be a priority from the point of view of learning, but apparently is just convenient childcare for many on here...) is contingent on low levels of the virus in the community.

The reason we're at the limit is because things are opening up and transmission categorically is taking place between humans, regardless of their age or how they're personally affected by illness.

Surely the responsible thing to do is to limit unnecessary interactions, so we've got more leeway to do the things we all really need to.

Children interracting with each other is essential for social, educational and physical development. It's one of the reasons why home learning has been such a slog for the majority of families. Children learn by observing their peers and being inspired to try new things.

They can not lean everything from adults. They need their peers.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/08/2020 17:05

@DappledThings

and I don’t really want to make my 4 year old it’s unnatural I'm assuming they're not starting school September?

My 4 year old is starting school in September. He is currently in nursery 3 days a week. They haven't expected the children to social distance at all at nursery and none of the information from the school suggests they will be either other than having the class split into 3 groups for different sessions in the first week.

unreasonable to expect children this young to understand social distancing. It is not improper parenting or twattish behaviour if your small toddler can't understand the guidance on social distancing, which changes every five minutes anyway.

No one is expecting a child to understand and recite the words as Boris speaks them. But they should be able to understand some rules. So if your 4 to is trying to hug tension mugs, climb on the sofa whilst someone else is on it, push past on the slide, hold hands with random kind etc it isn't unreasonable to assume a parent can tell them not to do it and remove them if they continue . Not touching strangers isn't unnatural. Using manners and waiting your turn isn't unnatural. He knows to stop when I tell him and come when I can him and if he doesn't do it, because no one expects them to be perfect, I go and get him and they're are consequences for not doing what he's told.

So whilst school may have a few for all where no one has to social distance, they're will be rules that he is expected adhere to and he will be expected to do as he's told.

RubyWow · 07/08/2020 17:07

I’ve found it impossible because even if I can get my child to stay 2m away from others (which I can, she’s quite antisocial Grin) I can’t control other people’s children. In the open air, in an area with few cases, washing hands before and after - that’s adequate.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/08/2020 17:07

@user1471500037

If you are scared of playgrounds - please stay at home
It isn't about being scared. But I wouldn't let me 4 to push his way past onto the slide, climb on the swing when someone else is or touch strangers anyway without making sure the parent is ok with it.. bit then I expect my 4 to to be within sight so perhaps that's the difference
TheTigerWho · 07/08/2020 17:09

My children would probably not hold hands with a stranger EVER. Beginning to wonder if I have unusually not tactile kids... And waiting turns has nothing to do with covid. Well, it does, but surely parents should be correcting this anyway.

The op said "play NORMALLY", not rock up to some random kid, push last him on the slide and then inexplicably hold his hand and lick him or something.

OverTheRainbow88 · 07/08/2020 17:14

@TheTigerWho
Thank you.

Earlier, another child asked to have a go on my sons scooter... I looked to that child’s parent/attending adult to make they decision as I didn’t mind, neither did my son , they said no. Which is fine, their decision. As they walked off the adult said we shouldn’t touch other people’s things because they’ve touched it...

The other kid then ran off playing on all the other playground equipment, which 200 other kids had probably touched today.

OP posts:
AsMuchUseAsAMarzipanDildo · 07/08/2020 17:21

My 3yo repeatedly forgets about social distancing, just through being caught up in the excitement. I gently remind her to give other people some space and obviously wouldn’t be okay with her running up and grabbing strangers (but really? In reference to a PP’s post... a 3 year old ran up and grabbed teenage strangers? Really?).

But does she stay absolutely 2m apart? No, she’s 3 FFS and has been locked up deprived of the social interaction pre-schoolers crave. Does she often stand right next to other children on the slide? Yes, but I will always approach the other child’s parent and check they’re okay with it. If they said they weren’t or more likely, look at all worried or uncomfortable, I call her away.

Summer294756 · 07/08/2020 17:25

I'm quite surprised how many comments are saying not to go or that they are expecting their kids to stay 2m apart. But I have total respect for you doing so.
I ridigly followed the rules throughout. My daughter is 6 and massively regressed socially. My son who is 9 became depressed.the past couple of weeks we have met groups of mums and friends from school at play areas and the kids have had a blast.
The lovely village playground we were at yesterday must have had at least 50 children playing on it. Not a single one was social distancing

RenaissanceWren · 07/08/2020 17:34

You are not unreasonable. Young children need freedom to test their physical limits and they need to learn to socialise. They can't do that in parks with social distancing in place - the parks aren't designed for it, and their brains aren't yet ready to understand why they should do it. The risks of becoming seriously ill with corona are negligible for most kids, but there is a risk of them developing unhealthy attitudes to other children if they aren't allowed to play at this age. Obviously normal boundaries around others' personal space should still be enforced!

To those who have shielders in the family, I understand you will feel a lot of anger that your children can't fulfil their needs in the same way but there isn't really anything other parents can do to make it possible. Councils could possibly set aside 1/2 days a week for individual families/bubbles to book the playground, but they'd need the staff and budget to enforce it which is probably too difficult for most right now.

lyralalala · 07/08/2020 17:42

We go to the park early or late to avoid other people. The localish tourist hotspot has made clear they don't want tourists so people are coming here instead. Which isn't great as we haven't had all the investment that they've had with the tourist money.

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