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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Please talk me out of handling my notice in

93 replies

QuestionableMouse · 07/08/2020 11:58

Really really sick of my job right now.

My boss is awful and petty and keeps pulling me up on stupid things (example - my lace broke yesterday at work. I had a blue pair in some shoes in the car so switched them to finish my shift. He knew why but had a go at me because the laces weren't black. He's also just emailed me to 'remind me not to wear trainers at work.' I'm wearing Sketchers safety shoes.

I have enough saving to be comfortable for four months and will be starting a MA (with the associated finance) in September. While the income is nice, I'm not reliant on it at the moment. Leaving would mean losing some perks such as private health insurance but I've been eligible to use it for seven years and never have.

I dread going in. Absolutely dread it. I sat in the car before shift the other day and felt like throwing up.

The email today was the last straw and I honestly feel like handing my notice in. I'm so so sick of the place and the horrible petty people who work there. But I'm also equally aware of the current situation and it's a secure job that I've had for just over ten years.

OP posts:

MitziK · 07/08/2020 17:33

Cool. The recommendation leads to a site where the actual type mentioned in the blurb looks like a pair of trainers. It doesn't say 'formal' or 'professional' style/not trainer style at all does it?

I had similar at work at the shit job. Had been fine for five years, suddenly, everything changed overnight, just as they were secretly planning redundancies to get rid of the more expensive staff with employment rights.

So I turned up in a pair of steel toecaps for the rest of the time there. Looked great with the workwear. Because the contract said I had to wear items that were appropriate for my position. Which meant strong canvas blacks, a black shirt and proper work boots.

It really pissed them off. But hey, at least I wasn't having to undergo skirt length checks like other staff were.

Original poster

QuestionableMouse · 07/08/2020 17:35

@boreda11

Is your boss on leave at any time before you leave in September? A few more days without them may help.

I'm not leaving September as I intend to study alongside working.

OP posts:

ittooshallpass · 07/08/2020 17:37

In the current climate there is no way you should resign u less you don't need any money coming in.
The job market is dire and there are plenty more redundancies to come.
The things your boss is picking you up for sound petty - can you not just rise above it? Laugh at him (inside) play 'petty crap bingo' and ignore. It sounds like he enjoys getting a rise out of you - don't give him one, he'll soon get bored. I'd never let some arsehole push me out of a job when we're on the brink of the worst recession in history.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 07/08/2020 17:37

The fact that she is wearing Skechers safety shoes tells us that her employer didn't pay for them - which is fucking ridiculous, I hope OP is aware that she can at least claim back the tax on work wear.

Moaning about blue laces when he knew why, didn't have any spare cos, you know, they don't supply staff with safety clothing they insist is worn! All sounds like retaliation for your previous complaint.

I'd probably resign, with an MA in the offing.

GCHWho · 07/08/2020 17:37

If I was resigning I’d go to the shoe inspection with fuck written on the sole of one shoe and off on the other ... he’s a power tripping twat.

PlanDeRaccordement · 07/08/2020 17:39

Resign and go off sick so you don’t have to work your notice.
You need to decompress before starting the MA in a month or so.

willstarttomorrow · 07/08/2020 17:54

It sounds awful OP but the reality is you need a job whilst studying so it is probably best not to resign without trying to secure an alternative job first. Also, you have been there for a significant length of time. You have built up employee rights that will be lost if you leave for a new job.
Is this a newish manager? You have lasted 10 years so I am assuming it has not been this bad. Is it just you are all staff who are having issues? Also, how did he manage to 'turn it all back on you' previously?
If possible maybe take some leave if you have any. It could be you need a break. I have been working through covid-19 and it has been awful. My job is always stressful because that is the nature of what I do. However, all the bits that make it something I mostly love such as being part of an amazing team, working with people directly etc have largely gone and there are a lot more risk assessments, processes which are frankly a back covering exercise by senior management. I imagine it is the same for you and also you arr dealing with the few customers who are unwilling to adapt their behaviours despite a global pandemic.
You have been there so long I imagine you are a valued employee. Could you work in another branch? Is there an area manager you can go to? Play things 'by the book. Do not lose your cool, do not be late and do everything that is part of your role. Keep a record of any unreasonable behaviour from your manager.

Bargebill19 · 07/08/2020 17:55

I would offer to kick him in the nads to prove they are steel toe capped ......

Honestly- look for something else where you will be treated like a human being and where the boss has some common sense or at least knows what the company policy actually says. Life really is too short.

thepeopleversuswork · 07/08/2020 17:59

I couldn't deal with this sort of nitpicking shit. Blue/black laces ffs.

I wouldn't go off on "stress" though... doesn't it just stay on your work record? Not worth it unless its a career you want long term.

Can't you just stick it out and pull a lot of sickies?

ForTheLoveOfCatFood · 07/08/2020 18:16

Life’s to short hand your notice in

Pinkdelight3 · 07/08/2020 18:17

You've done nothing wrong. I'd tell him so and escalate as needed. Don't let a twat like that ruin a good gig. It sounds like a good arrangement to work there while studying as long as you can get him off your back. This is a prime example of his terrible management, use it as that. You've got a strong track record so use it to make your point. If your fallback position is leaving anyway, that can be very freeing in dealing with him.

ThisLittleLady · 07/08/2020 18:22

Have you been noting what’s been happening? Write down the dates and what you remember, what’s he’s been doing. Present it to the HR perhaps and show whys been going on that he’s bullying and harassing you and making you physically unwell... or try to have a talk to him, and say, look I don’t know what the problem is.. here are the ways in which you have been micromanaging hounding Me and I’m not sure why? Can we sort this out as it’s making me physically unwell and I’m starting to suffer from stress due to this. I mean at the end of the day, if you were considering handing in your notice, then it’s not going to hurt to try to have an adult conversation with him?? Sorry. I know how it feels to work like this. I was lucky to be able to transfer but I gather that’s not possible for you. Perhaps start looking elsewhere for work and quit when you have a new job to start?? Good luck 😉

Sugartitties · 07/08/2020 18:26

my bosses wife does some of the books..... yep, she’s one of them. someone rang in looking for her and i said the usual oh she’s not available m, can i help and passed the message on.

she emailed me back to say i’m not to ask people why they are calling..... she was passed because it was about a mistake she made

Sneakyfox · 07/08/2020 18:28

I would suggest looking at your job a different way, 'as a means to'. Do what you need to do and no more. Let them pay you a wage for doing the least you can get away with, whilst looking for something else. Play them at their own game, with no flexibility.

Write out your resignation and carry it in your bag, so if it really does get unbearable you know you can hand it in (I found just knowing it was in my bag helped me not to do it and continue to carry on using the job for a wage until I found something else).

Also write a little 'w' on your wrist. The little 'w' stands for wanker, and when you see your boss you give them a great big wave with that hand. It is so childish I know, but it does deliver a great sense of satisfaction.

Original poster

QuestionableMouse · 07/08/2020 18:33

I won't be going off sick. Not because of my work record but it's just not something I feel comfortable doing. Same with pulling sickies.

Currently looking at jobs and have applied for a couple.

Honestly I think my mind is made up and I just need to figure out a plan so I'm not cutting my nose off to spite my face.

OP posts:

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 07/08/2020 18:34

Hi OP. I'm so sorry you're having a shit time.

I echo what PPs say - please get signed off work with stress. From the sounds of it (sorry to assume!) it sounds like you might get a month or so leave on full pay. x

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 07/08/2020 18:36

Last time I had a job with a manager like that, around this time last year, it gave me enormous pleasure to resign and tell the manager what an arrogant cow she was (in slightly more professional language).
The lightness of being and lack of stress that came from that was immeasurable.
I know the job market is tough right now, but if you can manage without it, resign.

Doing the Masters is a huge investment of your time and money - why jeopardise it with the stress that comes form a part time job you don't need?

Ineedaduvetday · 07/08/2020 18:48

AreYOUthe OP’s manager??

No. Are YOU the OP?? @VainAbigail

melmos · 07/08/2020 18:53

Resign!

Ishihtzuknot · 07/08/2020 18:56

My advice is to always leave if you can afford to. I worked somewhere very toxic surrounded by awful people too, it made my life hell and I was constantly stressed. Leaving was the best thing I done, although I struggled financially for a while I was finally happy again. Do it for your mental health, the rest can be sorted after.

Griselda1 · 07/08/2020 18:59

If it's come to the stage where you're thinking of resignation anyway why not have it out with him in a constructive way. It's going to be good for your mental health to know you've stood up for yourself.

Scarydinosaurs · 07/08/2020 19:03

As PP said would a transfer to another branch help?

Crabeyes · 07/08/2020 19:15

No job is worth feeling like that. I've been there too, dreading it every morning, feeling sick and stressed out. Fuck it off if you can manage. Imagine the relief? Hope you get sorted and your boss can go deep fry his face. Good Luck

PolloDePrimavera · 07/08/2020 19:44

Resign. Like others have said, it's just not worth it and takes up too much of your life. Then the time you're not there, you spend worrying about it.
Alternatively, tell me where you work and give me your name and I'll phone and say how amazing I thought you were 😉😉

KerbsideViolet · 07/08/2020 19:51

Resign. Life’s too short.

You’ve said you’re not relying on the money, so don’t put yourself through this stress. It’s not worth sacrificing your health for.

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