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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My dog and my neighbour’s dog

59 replies

Springersrock · 07/08/2020 09:54

The neighbour behind us has a dog that barks all the bloody time. I think it has a dog flap or they keep their doors open or something as it’s in and out of the garden all day/evening and they just ignore/can’t hear the barking

It seems to completely detest my dog, as soon as she goes out into our garden, it’s barking and hurling itself at the fence between our gardens.

I know that some of the other neighbours on our road and the road behind have complained about the barking to the neighbour but the neighbour just blames it on my dog winding it up. The other neighbours come and see me, every time I point out that it’s not my dog barking and that she is allowed out in our own garden, they agree with me but moan that the barking is pissing everyone off (I know, it pisses me off too!) and that I need to work with her to find a solution

Our dog usually goes to work with DH, but during lockdown I was on furlough so she was home with me, the weather was nice so we were doing stuff in the garden, had doors open and our dog was outside with us so the dog was just barking on and off all day.

Neighbour behind was working from home and kept complaining to me that I should keep my dog in as it made hers bark and she was trying to work and couldn’t concentrate.

Anyway, it came to a bit of a head this morning. I let my dog out in our garden for a wee at 7:30am, she got the zoomies (as she does every morning), and was doing laps of our garden at 100 miles an hour.

She wasn’t barking (she very rarely barks) or banging and crashing around or anything like that, but wasn’t completely silent. Neighbour’s dog starts barking its head off and hurling itself at the fence, so I called mine in.

Just as we’re leaving for work, the neighbour appears and starts complaining, that if my dog can’t stop winding hers up we need to keep it in, that she’s fed up with the other neighbours complaining at her when there’s nothing she can do if ours keeps making hers bark.

I pointed out that my dog isn’t barking or making unreasonable noise, she is simply going about her business in her own back garden, that there was no way I was going to ban my own dog from our garden so we needed to come up with a more reasonable solution.

She completely blew her top, started shouting and screaming, threatened to report us to the council and all sorts, wouldn’t even entertain the idea that our dog was allowed in its own bloody garden, so we’re no closer to finding a solution and I have no idea what to suggest.

It doesn’t matter what time we let our dog out, as theirs is always out so we can’t even let her out at certain times to avoid it - and why bloody should we anyway? It’s not our dog that’s barking. I mean I’m happy to try and work with her, but never letting my dog out is not an option

Would the council actually expect me to?

OP posts:
Itsjustabitofbanter · 07/08/2020 09:57

You need to actually report HER to the council. And get all the other neighbours to do it aswell. Her not being able to control her own dog is her problem, not yours

Floralnomad · 07/08/2020 09:59

Just ignore her , the council will laugh at her and if environmental health want to investigate the noise they will discover it’s her dog making the noise . If any other neighbours say anything to you just tell them it’s not your problem it’s hers so speak to her .

1Morewineplease · 07/08/2020 09:59

Your neighbour needs to do some work on the barking. Maybe with help from a dog behaviourist.

Maybe approach the council yourself and see what they say.

TheGodmother · 07/08/2020 10:01

Blimey your neighbour is nuts!!! It's her dog barking and she's blaming yours for making it bark!!

Report her to the council! No more Ms Nice Guy!

Ishihtzuknot · 07/08/2020 10:02

I have a neighbour like this, it’s always someone else’s fault not the fact they are awful dog owners and have no clue on how to look after it properly.
Keep a record of any communication and a noise diary of the dog barking, how long for etc and complain to the council. She is harassing you and being anti social. Don’t let her bully you, your dog has every right to be outside without a dog aggressively barking.

ToelessPobble · 07/08/2020 10:02

Of course your dog can use your garden. Nobody has complained about your dog to the council and there is no way the council could tell you not to let your dog out as it makes another bark. Just ignore the neighbour. It is their issue to sort through dog behaviours or whatever. If you are really desperate to work with them you could give them a full schedule of when you will let your dog in the garden so they can keep their dog in during those times. But tbh I think they are using you as a convenient scapegoat and venting their frustration on you as it sounds like their dog barks whether yours is in the garden or not.

vodkaredbullgirl · 07/08/2020 10:03

My dogs bark, if they bark too much i get them in. There is a few of us with dogs and they start each other off.

Not sure what to suggest about her dog.

AlCalavicci · 07/08/2020 10:03

You should not have to do anything about it , it is her dog that is causing the issues not yours. But for your own peace and quiet, depending on the garden lay out can you put / grow something along the fence between you to stop the dogs seeing / smelling each other ( yes stopping dogs smelling each other is probably impossible ) and tell her to do the same so the dogs have a wider space between each other .

justajosie · 07/08/2020 10:06

My god, your neighbour is a complete idiot! I'd tell her to go for it (re the council) and that you'd love to hear what they think... She hasn't got a leg to stand on but I utterly feel sorry for you having to live next door to that!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 07/08/2020 10:09

Lol at her telling you to keep your dog in.Just agree with her about the council; after all itll be her who gets into trouble.

Oldraver · 07/08/2020 10:09

She sounds a bit unhinged. Mnay many years gao I had similar problems with a neighbour that used to chuck her dog out in the garden and it would bark at anyhting that moved.Didnt help we only had waist high fence so it could see into gardens way back

I would go out and hang washing out and the dog would go nuts, she would then scream out the bedroom window at me/anyone for 'winding the dog up'

No amount of reason even from landlord (military property) copuld make her see she ans her dog were the problem

It doesn't sound like she is person to reason with. You certainly cant stop your quiet dog from goimng in the garden

Until recently we had a yappy dog next door, it does drive you mental

Anydreamwilldo12 · 07/08/2020 10:10

It's unbelievable that she is blaming your dog for making hers bark. I would be letting your dog in the garden at all times and telling her to Fuck right off.

Springersrock · 07/08/2020 10:10

Thanks all

Sorry, my post was so long I cut some bits out so wasn’t very clear - I meant would the council expect me to work with her, not ban my own dog from her garden?

My dog is actually out the house a lot of the time - she goes to work with DH all week, we have horses and take her to the yard with us early mornings and evenings. She’s out and about with us most weekends.

If she barks - which she rarely does as she’s very quiet - we bring her straight in.

I think someone has already complained to the council hence this mornings display

I think the dog is barking all day anyway, whether ours is home or not

OP posts:
BertieBassettsBits · 07/08/2020 10:10

Glad your neighbours know it's not your dog
I'd ignore the fucking loon and hope your neighbours report her
She needs to put some training in, it's not rocket science

Springersrock · 07/08/2020 10:13

Just to add, we also have 6ft fences between us. They can’t see each other so it must hear the back door open or it smells our dog or something

OP posts:
Anydreamwilldo12 · 07/08/2020 10:14

I don't think the council will expect you to work with her. Your dog is not the problem hers is so she needs to deal with it.

OchonAgusOchonO · 07/08/2020 10:16

My neighbours got a dog last year. When she is in their garden, one of mine starts to bark. The solution? I apologise to the neighbours and bring my dog in.

My dog barking = my responsibility.

Neighbour's dog is a bouncy young dog who wants to play so comes over to the fence to try and get mine interested. We sometimes let them play together so their dog becomes less bark worthy. And they enjoy it.

If I have time and she starts barking, I go out and crouch down beside her, telling her to be quiet (she will quiet down if I do that), praise her and give her treats for being quiet. She's 10 so I don't know how successful this will be but at least I'm trying.

Your neighbour's being a dick. It's her responsibility to deal with the barking.

DingDongDenny · 07/08/2020 10:16

I also think you need to complain to the council about her dog - let them sort her out

44PumpLane · 07/08/2020 10:16

Your neighbour is batshit, this is NOT your problem to fix, do not change your/your dogs routine at all.

Give this no more headspace.

If she complains again just repeat, repeat, repeat...... "My dog isn't the issue, you need to work on your own dog"

MaskingForIt · 07/08/2020 10:18

If the neighbour’s dog can’t handle other dogs being in their gardens, it is the neighbour’s dog who needs to be kept in. The dog causing the noise stays in, the quite dog goes out.

Floralnomad · 07/08/2020 10:23

The council will not be interested in your dog , your dog is not the issue , they will not tell you that your dog can’t go in it’s garden so that her nuisance dog can .

justanotherneighinparadise · 07/08/2020 10:23

You need to start videoing what actually happening and keeping daily records. The council will think its six of one and half a dozen of the other otherwise.

BackwardsGoing · 07/08/2020 10:24

Your neighbour is batshit but you need to be proactive. Unfortunately councils are easily cowed by people like this. Be prepared for a long haul dispute. Keep a log. Get statements from neighbours. Set up a camera in your garden. Basically do everything you can to gather evidence that you are not in the wrong.

Also your dog sounds lovely please can we have a photo?Smile

QualityFeet · 07/08/2020 10:24

The council won’t give two hoots if your dog likes to do Irish dancing all day as long as it’s not overly vocal. They will care about your crazed neighbour. I had a friend who worked in the noise team and the batshit letters from people like your neighbour were a marvel.

Delatron · 07/08/2020 10:27

You need to push back on her. Say her dog is barking continually and all the neighbours are complaining.
Point out your dog has a right to peacefully enjoy your garden and her dog is preventing that. Tell her she should expect a visit from the council. Suggest she keeps her dog in if it is continually barking. Don’t take her crap.