I don’t want this to the a debate on which way to feed you children. I have two children aged 10 & 5 year’s old. They were bottle fed, totally healthy, strong and rarely ill. Sometimes I wonder if I should have tried breastfeeding but I didn’t, I can’t change that. They are healthy. I wanted to bottle feed them for my own reasons - I believe a happy mother = a happy baby which ever way you choose to feed.
Anyhow, like I said no debates. But my ex (oldest child’s dad) has recently had a baby with his new partner. We are on generally good terms. Split up 10 years ago when I was heavily pregnant. I’ve been with my partner for 9 years.
I light heartedly said to him oh are you helping with the night feeds then.
His reply: no I don’t have to because she breastfeeds.
(Fair point, good for her ^ )
Ex then says: well you didn’t breastfeed did you, you didn’t want to do the best thing for them and chose formula for your own benefit.
Me: right.. okay! (Me gobsmacked not knowing what to say).
I don’t know what he means by own benefit truthfully. I was quite young, I chose to bottle feed and that’s that.
He wasn’t around much when DS was a baby. In fact he did bugger all. We split when I was pregnant. I did all the night feeds etc and certainly didn’t bottle feed just because people could do it for me. I did it all on my own and he knows that!
Admittedly when Dd was both bottle feeding meant oh would help out with night feeds too but this wasn’t the reason I chose to bottle feed.
Aibu to think comments like this are unnecessary when he wasn’t around, didn’t provide or pay for his son when he was tiny?
It’s not just this. He compares what his new partner does to me all the time yet we’ve never actually been together as parents to DS (and he’s never had DS for more than a few hours at a time, even now he’s older). Clearly me and his new girlfriend have different approaches to parenting which is fine but I hate the comparing he does all the time.
Also DS was a late developer with walking and talking (you wouldn’t think it now mind). Dd was the same, as was I (didn’t talk until 3-4 myself). He also has a 3 year old with his new partner and he’s always bragging how advance he is compared to DS and it’s disheartening comparing two children. Things like ‘oh his speech is so good compared to DS’s was). I know we are all guilty of comparing children but I feel it’s inappropriate for him to do this and it makes me feel like it’s my fault!
Aibu to tell him to butt out my life. I’ve learnt it’s best to just not engage in conversation with him 🤣
He seems to treat life as a competition!