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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Blocked by the youngest son

69 replies

moolady1977 · 06/08/2020 20:11

I've been at work all day finally get home and sit to down and receive a message from my youngest son ' I want some boots' no hi mum or anything just that message , I didn't reply straight away so he rang me and ever word out of his mouth was bad language so I said 'ds I'm your mum speak to me like it not like I'm one of your friends stop swearing at me ' he kept saying he hadn't swore . He then put the phone down on me and I received another message saying BLOCKED , he is 16 I don't want to hear that coming out of his mouth every word he speaks .
I spoke to his dad about it who said that's the way he is and how he speaks to everyone and just to let him get on with it . Am I so wrong in wanting him to at least from swear in every sentence he uses

OP posts:

Mrsmadevans · 06/08/2020 22:16

What a horrible young man. It makes you wonder what he will become in a few years. You are not being unreasonable OP but it beggars asking what role have you & his Father taken, in letting him become like this?

Namechangearoo · 06/08/2020 22:17

I can’t even imagine the fallout if I had spoken to my mum like that when I was 16. I’m 30 now and she’d still be absolutely furious and would need a grovelling apology if I ever wanted her to talk to me again. Get a backbone and sort him out now, before he becomes an entitled adult.

Calm, strong communication. No, you will not he spoken to like that. Privileges (phone/spending money/help with washing or cooking etc) removed until he’s apologised. For the love of god, don’t threaten him with something and then not follow through. If his behaviour improves then you will consider the boots.

justilou1 · 06/08/2020 22:18

He thinks he gets to punish you. Hilarious. I would be taking the phone. Also all the fun things. Including trips out with friends.

Louise91417 · 06/08/2020 22:21

Id wait until he unblocks you (no doubt when he is looking something) and then i would immediately block him..and keep him blocked

Didkdt · 06/08/2020 22:22

It sounds like this behaviour has been building for a while. I agree he needs you more than you need him (need not love,) so I would ignore ignore ignore

Jaxhog · 06/08/2020 22:32

I hope his dad is your ex, with comments like that!

He needs to learn that lack of respect has consequences. Like no boots (phone, internet, tv, pocket money etc.)

HouchinBawbags · 06/08/2020 22:43

When my kids pull that kind of shit i try to channel my inner Negan.
"Oh you better be joking!"
"That is a nasty big pill to swallow, but swallow it you most certainly motherfucking will. First one's free but then I will shut. that. shit. down! No exceptions!"

I won't ever be bashing my kids heads in with a barbed wired baseball bat but not a chance I would let that shit lie either. WiFi, phone, Xbox, PS4... ALL of it would be going.

DD didn't listen to DH and I yesterday (not for the first time lately) Today's she's been beside herself wailing and sobbing about the iPhone and iPad now stashed away in my knicker drawer that she won't be getting back for a while.

Original poster

moolady1977 · 06/08/2020 22:48

My ds dad is my ex and he lives with him ,won't live by my rules .
Him and his mates all talk to each other in the same vile way .
The DD is not getting the boots from me ,I can't take away his phone or Xbox and things because of him not living here and I won't be answering him when he rings wanting money .
Both of my boys are like their dad they play to the audience but my eldest knows where to draw the line whereas the youngest doesn't yet , ,thanks all for your suggestions

OP posts:

Smallsteps88 · 06/08/2020 22:53

Sounds like that’s just who he is now.

Original poster

moolady1977 · 06/08/2020 23:01

He has slipped a few times with his language and I pull him up on it wether it's to his friends or siblings and normally get a sorry from him , I was and still am the strict parent which is why he chose to live with his dad , this is the first time I've had a torrent of bad language from him but when I decide to speak with him he will know it's not going to happen again

OP posts:

Yeahnahmum · 06/08/2020 23:06

What all pp's said!

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 06/08/2020 23:08

No wonder he behaves like that, if his father thinks that normal, what hope do you have to convince your son he should be more respectful?

No boots, that’s for sure.

toomanyplants · 06/08/2020 23:10

This post is literally all that is wrong with parenting.
More fool you.
Not a chance would I tolerate this.

pallisers · 06/08/2020 23:16

your ex is a dreadful parent to let his son behave like that.

How does he think it will work out when he is foul-mouthed at a job interview?

pallasathena · 06/08/2020 23:20

I'd laugh in his face!
Who the hell does he think he is?
Don't engage OP.
He's behaving like a classic loser.
And tell him.

PyongyangKipperbang · 06/08/2020 23:28

@toomanyplants

This post is literally all that is wrong with parenting. More fool you. Not a chance would I tolerate this.

She isnt, however the father that the 16 year old prefers to live with, is tolerating it.

I wonder why he prefers to live with the father who has no rules because it actually takes effort to be a decent parent, than the one who takes the job seriously.....

jelly79 · 06/08/2020 23:33

Is there a back story? Why Does he think it's ok to talk to you like that?

I would not tolerate that and would instantly remove his phone until he showed some reappear. But interest in why.

CrotchetyQuaver · 06/08/2020 23:57

well his father hasn't done a good job has he?

leave him blocked the silly ignorant boy. and don't buy him anything until he can behave better. maybe in time he might put 2 and 2 together.

HouchinBawbags · 07/08/2020 09:47

So, not much you can do if he doesn't live with you?

I can't recall if I read that there was another child?

If there is I would buy the boots. In a different size for the other child! And when the inevitable kick off happens I'd tell him plainly that he can stick his shitty attitude towards me up his arse and he won't get a thing off me for acting like the rude, nasty little shitebag he is. Well, I 'might' change the wording.

Might.

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