AIBU re DP sibling??

[MahMahMahMahCorona]

Ok so let’s just say I know I’m being unreasonable but it just fills me with a bit of rage.

Me and DP have been together 4 yr. during which time we have hosted (DP used to live in a one bed apartment) any number of get together type things: his birthday, mine, BBQ, summer drinks, Halloween, Christmas, his parents’ anniversary, various achievements (work and personal) type stuff at my house, so he can invite his family / friends and I can do the same. He has several siblings. One, in particular, although they live the closest, has never ever come to anything they've been invited to. And it's a lot. Never. Ever. Never set foot in my house.

We are just about to move in to a new house and join our households together - very exciting. I have some spare furniture.

Suddenly “ghost like apparition” (not remotely interested for past over four years DP sibling) has appeared on WhatsApp, asking for (free) various odds and ends (sofa, chest of drawers, wardrobe, kitchen items etc etc) which I’m selling for minimal value on local sites.

DP more than relaxed in saying his sibling can have them. For free. I’m less than relaxed about this sort of behaviour. AIBU to say no? And pass it on to people who will actually say hello to me in the street, and give me a fiver for the piggy bank?

Is your sibling otherwise close to your partner?

*his sibling

YANBU, unless DH is close with his sibling then maybe I could let it slide

YABU

They work together. Daily. Family firm. I know I'm being unreasonable. And I know there's just an intense dislike from their side. To be the bigger person I just need to let it go but it is irksome.

Yabu to give YOUR stuff away.
Dp can give him his stuff if he wants to.

Maybe slightly unreasonable then, although it's your stuff at the end of the day. I know I certainly wouldn't be giving it to him!

YANBU...If he wants the stuff then he can pay for it

I wouldn’t give him/her Anything.

Yes - it's all my stuff which I'm selling on.

If it's your stuff, then he has no right giving it away to anyone. Reasons aren't required.

You can tell your DP it is not his to give away or you are setting precedent. You are selling it. DP’s bro is welcome to buy it.

I agree with the majority of previous posters OP, it's your stuff, DP has no right to give it away. Tell him you are selling it

Nothing to do with your DP. It's your stuff, and if you want some cash for it that's your right.

YANBU! Dp can just say ‘sorry, we’re hoping to make a bit of cash to buy stuff we need for the new house‘ or similar.

I would WhatsApp back and say - sorry already promised to other people.

Or say - sorry, hoping to raise enough money for..... (you could also plan to donate sale money to a charity.)

Your stuff, you get to decide.

Thanks all. I was worried that I wasn't being particularly cordial. But then again they've been far less than. I'll let DP know.

On no, no, no. Fuck that. If they want your items they will pay for them. End of discussion.

So both your partner AND his sibling are CF's OP.

Very disrespectful of your OP to give away items that don't belong to him.

Does NOT bode well.🙄

Have a good think.

Also does not bode well if you don't feel comfortable tell him that actually YOU will decide who gets your belongings.

If you don't feel comfortable spelling this out to him then your relationship is not a safe one.

If it’s your stuff sell it, if it’s your do stuff he can give that to his sibling

*of your partner

Nope. Not your DP's stuff to give. He can give his own things away to whomever he wishes, but he doesn't get to do that with your things.

I'm also curious as to why your partner is so happy to give his sibling your stuff for free? That feels really disrespectful of him.

Thanks all. I really appreciate the fact I now no longer feel like a complete CF.

I think DP feels he's responsible for his siblings despite the fact they've all got jobs and earn money within / without of the family firm. DP is eldest and I think he feels like he needs to "provide" for certain of them.

At least now I don't feel quite so terrible about it - and yes I'll tell DP it ain't his stuff to give away.

It's your stuff. I'd take it to the tip before I gave it to someone I disliked. I wouldn't even sell it to him. (Does he actually need it or would he be cheeky enough to sell it on? I'm only stirring!) Wouldn't invite him to the next party either.